Don't Forget To Fall Back!

[Penthesilea]

I overheard a co-worker once telling another one who was expecting her second (and the other one is 2) that "you're not really a parent until you have two."  Another friend once told me that having two kids wasn't twice as hard - it was four times as hard.  I guess once you get into the three and four realm, you're outnumbered so you either get really mellow about it or go right off the deep end.  A Mom at Will's preschool is expecting her *fifth*.  Good God.  If you can do it and you're good at it, power to you.  By the way, she and her husband are really, really mellow.

I don't agree to your friend about 2 kids being 4 times as hard.
I'm one of the three-kids realm and could imagine having a forth one. But there won't be a forth, because I'm almost 39 and money is a good point 

I my village live 2 families with seven children, one with 6 and several with five children. Three or four is just average here.
What I am noticing on myself and on other mothers with "many" children (however you define many) is that you really get more relaxed with every child.
My 3 year old is behind in his linguistic development? - Give him more time, he'll catch up; it's good to keep an eye on it, but it's not necessary to madden myself about it.
My 10 year old insists in wearing the same jeans for the forth day, no matter of some stains? - Let her, if she's determined on it.
My 8 year old wants to have a bread with jam instead of a healthy meal for supper? - She'll live.

This being more relaxed is not to be mixed with lack of interest. But you have experienced similar situations before and have more faith that the kids will turn out all right.
And I try to think twice if something is worth an argument or not. It saves yourself a lot of distress 

[ednbarby]

You know, Pen, I do regret not having another child for, among others, the reason that I won't get to see what it's like to be more relaxed with my second.  Ed and I both just freaked out every time the least little thing was wrong (or so we thought) with Will, I moreso than he.  I was like Shirley MacLain's character in "Terms of Endearment," running in to check on him when he was "too quiet" in his crib at night, and actually waking him once or twice accidentally when I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not and put my ear right up to his nose to make sure I heard air coming out of it.  D'oh!

Your story reminds me of how a good friend told me once that her sister, the mother of three small children, had this to say about what it's like:  With the first one, you worry about every little thing and fear constantly for their lives to the point that every time he or she cries, you're there in a heartbeat.  With the second one you say "It's OK.  Just let him cry it out.  If he doesn't stop in five minutes, I'll go see what's going on."  With the third one, you just turn the TV volume up louder to drown it out. 

(Don't worry - she's an RN and a very competent and loving mother.  Which makes the fact that she said that all the more amusing.)

[Ellemeno]

I have friend with twins, and she says they are twice as hard, but also twice as easy.