Hate to break it to ya bud, but meet Matthew's... missus!! 
There, there... dry your eyes now... s'alright, s'alright...
Gasp! You are
gooooood! What are you, a
private investigator? I
am impressed! Fact is, Saucy, and ple-ease keep this to yourself
(promise you won't tell a soul?), they have
separated! Their publicists haven't released the news yet. They met on that British TV spy drama
"Spooks" and enjoyed a whirlwind romance. Alas, like so many such things, it simply
fizzled out. When the story is released, it will state that Matthew has found comfort, love and companionship in the arms of a
fabulously wealthy, stunningly gorgeous, exotic Australian heiress. Now this is the
"secret" part . . . . . . the "heiress" is actually
ME! It's only the
gender that's been changed, for the
publicity! All the rest is true. I really am fabulously wealthy and stunningly gorgeous - just happens that I'm
not a
women! Publicists have to tell these lies to keep the lady fans
panting for more. I really do
feel for his ex! I believe she's presently living in a cold-water flat in London. Her career has
nose-dived since Matthew
left her for
me. She only ever gained her
"fame" (whatever?) from Matthew's afterglow. Poor girl. I really
feeeel for her! Tst! Tst! Sad!
