One year ago today, I saw Brokeback Mountain at the Little Theatre, a non-profit art movie house in the city of Rochester, New York for the first time. The film had actually been running for at least a month, but the concept of a gay cowboy film, as it was alluded to in the popular press, wasn't exactly something to make me run to the nearest theatre. My primary interest in the film came from Jake Gyllenhaal's appearance, because his performance in Donnie Darko was so intriguing to me.
Of course, I had no idea what the experience would do to me in the days, weeks, months, and now year later.
I recall leaving the theatre stunned, but the real emotional fireworks display would occur the following morning while standing the shower pondering what happened the night before.
I'm sure for most of you the stages of coping with this film have been somewhat similar. And for those of us who saw it a year ago, we're glad to help be there for those who just have discovered this film for the first time on a premium movie channel or DVD.
The biggest impact this film had on my life was to stop missing opportunities in my life to meet a challenge head-on, work through it, and succeed. Allowing life to pass you by hiding from challenges because you don't believe enough in yourself to make it a success, or just putting it off day after day, only leads you to stand 20 years later staring at the equivalent of a postcard tacked to a closet door realizing if you knew then what you are living now, you'd swear to do it differently if you had a chance. BetterMost was born from that impact. I didn't start this site to simply be another fan base for people enamored with every aspect of the film. There were great sites already out there doing that.
Instead, my mission was to create a site that would provoke people to follow the advice of Annie Proulx - finish the story in your own life. Stop missing opportunities, stop believing you can't change what you think you just gotta stand, stop thinking more about what you can't do and start realizing what you are capable of doing. Use the emotional impact of this film - the tears, the feeling of being stunned or paralyzed, and the insatiable need to learn what every frame of the film and every word of dialog meant, as a way to provoke change in your own life. For many most impacted by Brokeback Mountain, they saw something of themselves in Jack and Ennis. For others, they want a world where nobody should have to live their lives hiding from who they are. Whatever the reason, you are at risk of losing the emotional energy this film can bring if you remain focused solely on the story itself. The tidal wave you felt after you left the theatre the first time could easily just wash slowly back out to sea.
As BetterMost reaches its first anniversary in just a few short weeks, I've asked all of our administrators and moderators to rededicate themselves to evolving this small town community we've built together to ensure that this site is always moving forward - letting you share more of yourselves with the rest of us, making new friends and being there to help support one another. Together, let's make certain that 20 years from now, we'll never have to swear we would have done it all differently if we just had another chance.
Thanks for being a part of BetterMost. Your continued commitment to this place has done for me what I hope we can do for you - prove you CAN fix it and you don't have to just stand it.
Phillip Dampier
Founder, BetterMost