Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

<a href="http://media.photobucket.com/image/cartoons/AbbyNbr6fan/i070723ziggy.png?o=8" target="_blank">[/url]

[Katie77]

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag.  He sits down and places the bag on the counter.  The bartender walks up and asks "whats in the bag"?

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 12 inches high, and sets him on the counter.  He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.  He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench.  The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Motzart.

"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.

The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.  This time he pulls out a magic lamp.  He hands it to the bartender and says "Here, rub it".

So the brtender rubs the lamp and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him.

"I will grant you one wish....just one".

The bartender gets real excited.  Without hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks".

A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. Another duck,, then another soon follows it.  Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming.

The bartender turnes to the man and says "Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf.  I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks".

"Tell me about it" says the man,  "do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

[Katie77]

Senior Driver

By GRANDMA




The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.








I was feeling particularly sassy that day, because I had just come from a thrilling choir practice followed by a powerful prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.


I was stopped at a red l ight at a busy intersection just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.




It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus; because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that LOTS of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting there, the nice man behind started honking like crazy, and he leaned out of his window and screamed, "for the love of God, GO! GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for the Lord.





Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man fromFlorida back there, because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another man waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was an Hawaiian good luck sign or something.


Well, I've never met anyone fromHawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.


My grandson burst out laughing; why even he was enjoying this religious experience.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.


I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So I waved to all my sisters and brothers, smiled at them all, and drove on through the intersection.


I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again, and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window, and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away..

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

[Katie77]

[Katie77]

The following poster was introduced around 1919
(Just before Alcohol prohibition started)






It's no wonder that MEN kept drinking!!!!!!

[optom3]

Glad you enjoy all the funnies on here Fiona.....a bit of a giggle can brighten up the day. Heres a little one I got today.


WARNING.........................


 





Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home!  A New York man was
found dead in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man
face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk, sugar, and cornflakes.

A banana was sticking out of his butt.

Police suspect a cereal killer   !!!!!!
 

That is so bad I can't believe Iam laughing. It sounds like a 2 Ronnies joke.

[optom3]

Took me a few seconds to see the funny side of that, until I noticed the strands of hair accross his head.

Oh dont you hate that !!!!!!

Comb overs!!!!
   whoever looks at themselves in the mirror and thinks,yep that's definitley the look for me.They'll be swarming round me like bees round a honey pot.

[Kerry]

The following poster was introduced around 1919
(Just before Alcohol prohibition started)






It's no wonder that MEN kept drinking!!!!!!

I suspect several may be men in drag.        

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

A Wild Horse Ride

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves. As her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune... Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse