Author Topic: Kerry's Komedy Klub  (Read 1205089 times)

Offline Sharon

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,181
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #710 on: June 28, 2007, 04:47:58 pm »

Offline Shasta542

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,999
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #711 on: June 28, 2007, 10:45:44 pm »
A cowboy in Wyoming was overseeing his herd in a remote mountain pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
 
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I  tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?'

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to the Internet. He calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, and finally
turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says the
Cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?' The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You're a politician, probably a congressman', says the cowboy.

'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'But how did you guess?'

'No guessing required,' answered the cowboy. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows -- this here is a herd of sheep. . .

. . . Now give me back my DOG.'
"Gettin' tired of your dumbass missin'!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Offline Kerry

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,076
  • ^ In pursuit of Captain Moonlite - 5 Sept 2009
    • Google Profile
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #712 on: June 29, 2007, 09:39:48 am »

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

Offline Sharon

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,181
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #713 on: June 29, 2007, 05:28:37 pm »
Welcome back, Shasta542!

Offline Sharon

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,181
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #714 on: June 29, 2007, 05:33:45 pm »
I`m glad your avatar picture is back! I like it! Yes really! Is that you, Kerry?
And the picture under the line is great!
Perfect!

Offline Sharon

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,181
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #715 on: June 29, 2007, 05:40:33 pm »
Keep going it`s nearly the weekend!


Offline Shasta542

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,999
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #716 on: June 29, 2007, 05:43:53 pm »
Thanks, Sharon Amber! I have been looking at and admiring pictures of gorgeous men that you have posted on various threads.

They are YUMMY!!
"Gettin' tired of your dumbass missin'!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Offline Kerry

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,076
  • ^ In pursuit of Captain Moonlite - 5 Sept 2009
    • Google Profile
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #717 on: June 30, 2007, 02:55:11 am »
I`m glad your avatar picture is back! I like it! Yes really! Is that you, Kerry?
And the picture under the line is great!
Perfect!


Yes, Sharon, my avatar is a photo of me, taken 18 months ago, on 28 Dec 2005. It's good to be back!  :D

I love the pic of Jack napping with the dog. It reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from the Annie Proulx original, "Three puppies belonging to one of the blue heelers went in a pack basket, the runt inside Jack's coat, for he loved a little dog."

Always makes me cry.   :'(
γνῶθι σεαυτόν

Offline Kerry

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,076
  • ^ In pursuit of Captain Moonlite - 5 Sept 2009
    • Google Profile
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #718 on: June 30, 2007, 02:59:09 am »

Yipee! It's Saturday!

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

Offline David In Indy

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,447
  • You've Got Male
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #719 on: June 30, 2007, 03:12:20 am »
Yipee! It's Saturday!


That's a cute penguin picture!!  :D
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.