Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 1183911 times)

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #2830 on: May 22, 2008, 12:30:36 pm »
The snowy slopes swallowed the silhouetted figures only distinguished from the shadows by the dancing embers of thier fire. Ennis rose pensively, his being belonged to the boy on the other side of the burning stones. Kneeling beside Jack together they gazed toward the rippled water. Ennis took the battered harmonica from Jack's lips, his penchant was for his friends touch now, not his serenade. Sharing their lonely love not even the whisping smoke could permeate their embrace.

Nice to meet you, stonebiscuit!    :)  Welcome to Bettermost and to the drabblefest.  This drabble is absolutely beautiful.  Thanks so much for sharing and I lhope to see more!

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #2831 on: May 23, 2008, 01:31:14 pm »
Roots

It permeated the air as strongly as the sweet smell of decay and he could sense it even before he got out of his truck, the weight of it growing stronger as he neared the house. 

No matter how big his belt buckle, no matter how far he traveled, no matter how long he stayed away, no matter how many years passed by, no matter how straight his teeth were, and no matter how much money he carried in his wallet, he couldn't seem to escape from it.

Planted early and fed daily, the seeds of failure grow unshakable roots.

~~~~~~~
100 Words
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #2832 on: May 23, 2008, 01:33:29 pm »
Some random prompts for a Friday afternoon:

  • raspberry
  • splash
  • natural

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline fernly

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #2833 on: May 23, 2008, 11:55:12 pm »
Quote from: mariez
Roots

It permeated the air as strongly as the sweet smell of decay and he could sense it even before he got out of his truck, the weight of it growing stronger as he neared the house. 

No matter how big his belt buckle, no matter how far he traveled, no matter how long he stayed away, no matter how many years passed by, no matter how straight his teeth were, and no matter how much money he carried in his wallet, he couldn't seem to escape from it.

Planted early and fed daily, the seeds of failure grow unshakable roots.

Wow.

Thank you. The content is painful to read, and so true to canon.
But how you fit so much into a short space, and the rhythm and pacing of your sentences...
did I already say Wow? :D
on the mountain flying in the euphoric, bitter air

Offline fernly

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #2834 on: May 24, 2008, 10:38:34 am »
Quote from: stonebiscuit
The snowy slopes swallowed the silhouetted figures only distinguished from the shadows by the dancing embers of thier fire. Ennis rose pensively, his being belonged to the boy on the other side of the burning stones. Kneeling beside Jack together they gazed toward the rippled water. Ennis took the battered harmonica from Jack's lips, his penchant was for his friends touch now, not his serenade. Sharing their lonely love not even the whisping smoke could permeate their embrace.

Welcome, stonebiscuit! Glad to see you here!
Beautiful drabble.
Very insightful description of how they were so close that not even the smoke from the fire could find its way between them.
Thank you!
on the mountain flying in the euphoric, bitter air

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #2835 on: May 27, 2008, 06:44:46 pm »
Artless Moments

It was perhaps his earliest childhood memory, and without a doubt the happiest.  They'd been picking wild raspberries in the hot July sun, just the two of them, and even though he was past feeling comfortably full, their sweet tartness was irresistible.

When the time came to head home, he'd fallen into a dozy trance, his small bucket swinging gently from his red-stained fingers, and he felt himself being lifted up as she whispered time to hit the hay, cowboy, his face curving into it's natural spot against her neck.  She was humming a familiar tune and the tickling vibrations made him giggle softly, her heart beating reassuringly against him.

He felt protected and wanted, safe and loved, and thought that would surely last forever.

~~~~~~~
125 Words
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline stonebiscuit

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #2836 on: May 28, 2008, 01:15:48 am »
Thanks mariez, fernly :)

Doing Time

Grit under his fingers, always, his sweat mingled with tar dust.
The sun setting, baking the hills. Nursing a warming beer he could taste the raspberry sweetness of his friends lips. Happiness danced in a divine bubble before him.
Rain, pouring over the eves, down the back of his neck, splash, the bubble was gone.
“Come inside, Daddy – you’re getting wet.” Her sweet faced looked up at him.
Rain tears streaking the windows. Inside, the walls swallowed him. Throwing off his shirt, landing on the bed – an alien life form touching down.
Her warmth against him. They drew together, wind throwing the rain against the windows.

Offline cwby30

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Re: Natural
« Reply #2837 on: May 31, 2008, 12:35:16 pm »
His actions seemed natural to those who thought they knew him.  Walking along quickly, hardly meeting anyone's eyes, barely smiling when he did, getting his job done efficiently and almost wordlessly.  To the only one who really knew him, his actions were natural.  A splash of Old Spice to cover the scent of the man who had made love to him passionately only last night, his collar pulled up close to cover the mark on his shoulder the shape and color of a raspberry made by that same man, the hard shell which their love strained to break into and out of. 

[102 words]

Offline cwby30

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Re: Scared 2
« Reply #2838 on: May 31, 2008, 01:50:59 pm »
One ring.  Two rings.  Three rings. Come on, Jack, pick up. Four rings. “Hello.” “Um…” “Ennis?” “Yeah.” “You okay?” “Umm… No, not really.” “What’s wrong? What happened? You hurt? “Tell me!” Jack’s worry went straight to his soul, finding the one crack in the hard shell, and splitting it wide open.  All the shouldas wouldas couldas, all the fears shames excuses, all the won’ts don’ts can’ts, all Earls Richs daddys, rushing out to confront him, only to evaporate into thin air when they hit the warmth of Jack’s caring.  It left him breathless.

He opened his mouth only to have his through close up with emotion.  His jaw creaked like a rusty hinge on a wayward gate swinging open and closed and open again in the winds of change.  He felt those winds buffeting his heart, felt the change over come him, knew he could never go back to the way they were before. “Jack, I… darlin’… we…” From 937 miles away he felt the emotion coursing through the telephone line, and prayed to the God he had feared for so long that Jack felt the same emotion coursing back. Now or never.

“I wanta be with ya… I want ya with me…  I want what ya want … wherever ya want it…  what I mean is… cowboy, I…” deep breath, del Mar “… luv you.” He knew Jack had a penchant for quick responses, so the silence on the line spoke volumes, told him the meaning of his words had permeated Jack’s normal self.  Jack’s next words confirmed that, pensive, meaningful.  “Had given up hope of ever hearing that from you, ‘specially after…” NO!  His turn to jump in.  “Saw that in yer eyes, felt that in yer hug. Couldn’t stand it, want to fix it, can we?”


[Three Drabbles in one, 299 words overall, Prompts: (1) should, could, would, (2) open, close, creak, (3) pensive, penchant, permeate]
« Last Edit: May 31, 2008, 10:56:53 pm by cwby30 »

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #2839 on: June 02, 2008, 01:32:30 pm »
Happiness danced in a divine bubble before him.

Thanks, stonebiscuit.  A divine sentence and drabble. too. 


... the hard shell which their love strained to break into and out of. 

He opened his mouth only to have his through close up with emotion.  His jaw creaked like a rusty hinge on a wayward gate swinging open and closed and open again in the winds of change.  He felt those winds buffeting

Amazing drabbles, cwby.  It's a real pleasure to read such perfectly placed words.

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain