Author Topic: Marcel Proust Questionnaire  (Read 15499 times)

Offline Kerry

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Re: Marcel Proust Questionnaire
« Reply #20 on: March 12, 2007, 03:43:05 am »
7. What is your dream of happiness? Living in a place where I can be outside much of the time and where I can write

You'd love Australia, Lee! We enjoy a climate that's very conducive to outdoor living.    :D

9. What would you like to be? Happily experiencing my second childhood!

I'll join that queue! Oops, too late, I'm already in it!  :laugh:

16. Who is your favourite hero of fiction? Holden Caulfield, the Virginian, Puss in Boots

Ah, Holden Caulfield. It's been a loooong time since I've heard that name. I first read "The Catcher in the Rye" waaaay back in the 60s, when I was the same age as Holden. You've prompted me to dust it off and give it an airing! And moving on briskly, from the sublime to the . . . well . . . um . . . less (or more?) sublime, why did you choose Puss in Boots? I'm intrigued! Do tell! Do tell!   ;)

19. Who are your favourite painters? Charles Russell, Klimt, Van Gogh, Turner, Whistler, Vermeer

Ah, yes,  dear sweet tragic Vincent. How could I ever forget Vincent? Such a beautiful soul.  :'(


« Last Edit: March 12, 2007, 06:16:18 am by Kerry »
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Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Marcel Proust Questionnaire
« Reply #21 on: March 12, 2007, 06:33:27 am »
And moving on briskly, from the sublime to the . . . well . . . um . . . less (or more?) sublime, why did you choose Puss in Boots? I'm intrigued! Do tell! Do tell!   ;)


Puss made everything possible for his master, he was the master facilitator, LOL! And that's just what I like to be, helping people realize their dreams.
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Offline ednbarby

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Re: Marcel Proust Questionnaire
« Reply #22 on: March 12, 2007, 01:00:38 pm »
There's much wisdom here.

Or cynicism.  ;)

Actually, this philosophy has served me very well, especially in recent years.  And it really isn't cynical - it's realistic.  (Spoken like a true cynic.)  Seriously, even optimistic.  I think that many of the unhappy people in the world - and of course I mean the ones who really have no physical or financial reason to be unhappy - are so because their expectations are too high.  They expect too much of other people, situations, themselves...  And naturally they're bound to be disappointed.

I have one friend in particular - I love her to pieces, but she drives me crazy - for whom the grass is *always* greener on the other side.  She is never, ever satisfied.  With anything.  And she always thinks that the next thing - that new car she's going to buy next week, the new job she's starting, the next marriage - is going to be the answer to all her unhappiness.  I tell her time and time again that the problem is she's expecting too much of all these things and not just being content in what she's got RIGHT NOW.  She says, "I know, I know...  But how do I change it?"  I say, "Well, when you feel yourself starting to put too much stock in something that's around the corner, STOP IT.  After enough times of concerted effort, it'll become habit."  But she just doesn't listen to me.  Probably because she's too busy thinking about how her lunch date with another friend tomorrow will be so much better than this one...

Case in point.  She worked at a job she constantly complained about for a year.  Then she changed jobs.  Then she complained about that one for a year.  Then she changed jobs again.  After the second year, she wanted the first job back.  I said, "But remember what you used to say about that place?  Do you think it's changed any since you left?"  Now that she's at the new job, she wants the second job back - a job, as I say, she constantly complained about for a year, complete with personality conflicts and a condescending manager, who she now says she "misses."

 ::)

I don't know how or when this philosophy got engrained in me - it's something my Dad used to tell me, but it never sank in until recently.  For me, I think it came from having a child and coming out the other side of clinical depression.  There's a line in a Phil Collins song I love that I never really felt until about four years ago:

"Well, it really [doesn't] matter much where you are, 'cause home is in your heart.  It's a feeling that you wake with one day.  Some people keep running all their lives and still find they haven't gone too far - they don't see: it's a feeling inside.  The feeling inside."

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Offline David In Indy

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Re: Marcel Proust Questionnaire
« Reply #23 on: March 12, 2007, 05:18:47 pm »
I have one friend in particular - I love her to pieces, but she drives me crazy - for whom the grass is *always* greener on the other side.  She is never, ever satisfied.  With anything.  And she always thinks that the next thing - that new car she's going to buy next week, the new job she's starting, the next marriage - is going to be the answer to all her unhappiness. 

I know a few people like that too, Barb. And for the life of them, they can't figure out why I'm satisfied with what I have. They tell me I'm not ambitious enough. They think I should always be striving for something better. Why? I have a house, a boyfriend, a good job, a cute dog and cat, lots of friends and plenty of groceries in the refrigerator. What else could I possibly want?

I see people running around here like chickens with their heads cut off trying to get more and more.

....AND MORE.  They could have all the money in the world, and they would still want more. I don't get it.

At some point we need to step back, look at ourselves and our lives and honestly ask ourselves "Am I satisfied? And if not, why?" "What will it honestly take to make me happy?" It really doesn't take all that much. All of these "extras" don't really make us happy; or satisfied. They only help to divert our attention, so we don't have to think  about it.

And I also think some people are not happy unless there is a crisis in their life. My sister is like that. If everything is going well for her, she'll find a crisis; even make one up if she has to. I've seen a lot of people do this. They aren't happy unless they're miserable.

It sounds like you and I are very much alike Barb!  :D

Thanks for posting this!  :)
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Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Marcel Proust Questionnaire
« Reply #24 on: March 12, 2007, 05:28:25 pm »
At some point we need to step back, look at ourselves and our lives and honestly ask ourselves "Am I satisfied? And if not, why?" "What will it honestly take to make me happy?" It really doesn't take all that much. All of these "extras" don't really make us happy; or satisfied. They only help to divert our attention, so we don't have to think  about it.

And you can also vote in my "Do You Agree With Thoreau?" poll about happiness!

http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,1951.msg156259.html#msg156259

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Re: Marcel Proust Questionnaire
« Reply #25 on: March 12, 2007, 05:57:18 pm »
1. What is your most marked characteristic?  Approaching life from a thoughtful and reasoned angle.

2. What is the quality you most like in a man? Nurturing in strength.

3. What is the quality you most like in a woman? An earthy charm.

4. What do you most value in your friends? Steadfastness in good times and bad.

5. What is your principal defect? Giving into fear too easily.

6. What is your favourite occupation? Reading.

7. What is your dream of happiness? Being at peace with myself, and sharing my life with someone who cherishes me in every way.

8. What, to your mind, would be the greatest of misfortunes? To lose my mental faculties.

9. What would you like to be? The most loving person I could be.

10. In what country would you like to live? One where the life of the mind is respected and encouraged.

11. What is your favourite colour? Blue.

12. What is your favourite flower? Wisteria.

13. What is your favourite bird? The dove.

14. Who are your favourite prose writers? Emily Bronte, Voltaire, Joseph Conrad.

15. Who are your favourite poets? Sappho, Horace, Friedrich Holderlin.

16. Who is your favourite hero of fiction? Don Quixote.

17. Who are your favourite heroines of fiction? Titania, the Wife of Bath, Lysistrata.

18. Who are your favourite composers? Beethoven, Debussy, Tchaikovsky.

19. Who are your favourite painters? Jacques-Louis David, Ingres, Gustav Klimt.

20. Who are your heroes in real life? All those who persevere while doing the least harm to their brethren.

21. Who are your favourite heroines of history? Sojourner Truth, Emma Goldman, Florence Nightingale.

22. What are your favourite names? Samuel, Benjamin, Nicholas.

23. What is it that you most dislike? Cruelty.

24. What historical character  do you most despise? Hitler.

25. What event in military history do you most admire? Any moment when a truce was declared.

26. What reform do you most admire? The abolition of slavery.

27. What natural gift would you most like to possess? An easy-going yet seductive charm.

28. How would you like to die? With full awareness that I am dying.

29. What is your present state of mind? Calm, but mindful that time is running out.

30. To what faults do you feel most indulgent? Laziness, both physical and mental.

31. What is your motto? "Nothing compares, I think, when thinking right, to a good friend."

 

Offline Kerry

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Re: Marcel Proust Questionnaire
« Reply #26 on: March 12, 2007, 06:59:52 pm »
I have one friend in particular - I love her to pieces, but she drives me crazy - for whom the grass is *always* greener on the other side.  She is never, ever satisfied.  With anything. 

Ah, yes, I am very familiar with this mind-set. I consider myself to be most fortunate in that I am self-resourceful and sublimely content with my lot in life. Some might respond that this is easy for me to say, because I don’t lack for much. And certainly, this is true. My life is not one of hardship and privation. Nor, however, is it a life of overt opulence. I own my apartment, have a car, a job, food in the refrigerator, books to read and canvases to paint, friends on the other end of the phone. What more could one want? (a boyfriend who lives closer than several hundred miles away would be nice, but that’s another story!)

The idea of spending a wet week at home, alone, with my head buried in a novel, is my definition of bliss! Even better if the phone doesn’t ring during that week. I have a very dear friend (of some 30+ years) who absolutely freaks out about my lifestyle. He is a rampaging extrovert who is absolutely compelled to “enjoy,” manically, every minute of every day. He tut-tuts at me often! Why is it that extroverts can never appreciate that introverts are happy being introverts; that trying to force them to be extroverts is what stresses them most? Alas, my extrovert friend is rarely a happy little camper! He thinks he is, but he’s not! This is because he is always searching for happiness, which is constantly just out of his reach. Like me, he has a comfortable lifestyle, with all the “necessities” and gadgets he could ever need. Yet, he is still forever manically searching for more, more, more. I tell him that true happiness comes from within. A concept he has trouble grasping.

Another dear friend of many years is one of those people who must always keep up with the Joneses. Whether it be a new house, expensive landscaping, water feature in the garden, automatic garage doors, restaurants, live shows, vacations, cars, the latest interior design for his home – he MUST have it. The main reason for this endless pursuit of “objects” is to one-up everyone else. It absolutely destroys him when someone else, particularly a friend, has something bigger or better or newer than him. In my personal opinion, that is a very sad state of affairs. As is he. He is basically a very sad, unfulfilled person. He has a partner, who is just as bad at eternally trying to keep up with the Joneses as he is!

Truth of the matter is, I’ve known both these guys for many, many years. Our friendship has stood the test of time. And I must say that I am sure they think I am just as weird as I think they are (maybe “weird” is too harsh a word; perhaps “challenged” would be better). The former person because I am content with my own company and the latter because I have no interest whatsoever in other people’s possessions.

My parents taught me that, “The best things in life are free.” Maybe I should have used this quote as my motto in the questionnaire. 
« Last Edit: March 12, 2007, 07:06:47 pm by Kerry »
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Offline ednbarby

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Re: Marcel Proust Questionnaire
« Reply #27 on: March 12, 2007, 07:40:15 pm »
And I also think some people are not happy unless there is a crisis in their life. My sister is like that. If everything is going well for her, she'll find a crisis; even make one up if she has to. I've seen a lot of people do this. They aren't happy unless they're miserable.

It sounds like you and I are very much alike Barb!  :D

OH.MY.GOD.  Did you ever hit the nail on the head, there.  I call such people "Professional Victims."  If they do not have a crisis in their lives, they create one.

Me, I grew up where I constantly felt like the sky was falling.  And I hated it.  So in my adult life I went the other way - I avoid/avert crises at all costs.  So as you can imagine, this particular type of person drives me *NUTS.*  And yet they seem to seek me out.  I must be the yin to their yang.  They always seem to call me when their lives are at, in their minds, their most frenetic.  I like to hope they'll remember me well - that they'll think I'm the one who gave them enough perspective to carry on.  But I think the reality is they seek me out at that time because I'm the only one who'll put up with it

And David, I must tell you - you saying that you think you and I are very much alike is the best compliment I've gotten in a long time.

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Offline ednbarby

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Re: Marcel Proust Questionnaire
« Reply #28 on: March 12, 2007, 07:46:23 pm »
The idea of spending a wet week at home, alone, with my head buried in a novel, is my definition of bliss! Even better if the phone doesn’t ring during that week. I have a very dear friend (of some 30+ years) who absolutely freaks out about my lifestyle. He is a rampaging extrovert who is absolutely compelled to “enjoy,” manically, every minute of every day. He tut-tuts at me often! Why is it that extroverts can never appreciate that introverts are happy being introverts; that trying to force them to be extroverts is what stresses them most? Alas, my extrovert friend is rarely a happy little camper! He thinks he is, but he’s not! This is because he is always searching for happiness, which is constantly just out of his reach. Like me, he has a comfortable lifestyle, with all the “necessities” and gadgets he could ever need. Yet, he is still forever manically searching for more, more, more. I tell him that true happiness comes from within. A concept he has trouble grasping.

Mine, too, Kerry.

One of my brothers is very much like this friend of yours.  I call this the "Can't-Be-Alone" type.  When this brother finds himself utterly alone, he picks up the phone, calls someone - anyone - and paces.  I can hear him pacing over the airwaves.

I once told him I was nervous about an upcoming job interview.  He said, "Why?  It's just talking to another person..."  I said, "Exactly.  A person I don't know."  He said, "Well, that's just silly."  I said, "Really?  Tell me - how do you feel when you find yourself completely alone with no one to talk to, no one at home when you call them on the telephone, nowhere to go to find someone to talk to...?"  He looked at me with this stricken, panicked look in his eyes.  I said, "That's how I feel whenever I meet a new person for the first time."  He just goes, "Oh."
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Offline delalluvia

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Re: Marcel Proust Questionnaire
« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2007, 08:18:35 pm »
Quote
I have one friend in particular - I love her to pieces, but she drives me crazy - for whom the grass is *always* greener on the other side.  She is never, ever satisfied.  With anything.

I had friends like this, too.

I got rid of them.

Because after a while, they were just wasting my time.  Like you, I suggested they might be happier finding happiness inside themselves, rather than looking outside for it.  They listened to me, nodded, agreed with the wisdom, how much better their lives would be if they did that - and went right back to doing exactly what they'd been doing, complaining about the same issues with the same situations, day in and day out, year after year while I listened, patiently offering the same advice until I sounded like a stuck record and realized I was just pissing into the wind.  They didn't want to improve their lives.

That was their perogative.  Mine was not to have to sit there and listen to them.

It's worse when it's a relative.  You can't ever get rid of them.  My mother listens patiently to my idiot aunt, gives her the same advice to the same problems as she's been doling out for decades.  And it just goes in one ear and out the other.  :P