Author Topic: Friend's parents (mother) hated movie because there wasn't romance.  (Read 19527 times)

Offline Aussie Chris

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Re: Friend's parents (mother) hated movie because there wasn't romance.
« Reply #50 on: May 25, 2006, 09:56:21 am »
I'm sorry to keep disputing you...

Stop telling fibs, you love it admit it! ;D

Yeah you're right of course.  Strangely my mind went into the scene with Jack on the horses onwards and all I remember is the sadness.  I think you can tell how watching BBM last night has made me feel today?  I just realised how melancholy I feel.  Anyway *shakes it off* yes Ennis only really looks happy when he is with Jack, especially the reunion and sending up a prayer of thanks. :)
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Offline belbbmfan

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Re: Friend's parents (mother) hated movie because there wasn't romance.
« Reply #51 on: May 25, 2006, 11:54:44 am »
A question about the 'sending up a prayer' scene. After Ennis says 'we can get together once in a while', Jack asks 'For how long?' I thought this was a kind of odd question to ask to someone as you've basically just agreed to start/continue a secret love affair.
Off course Ennis' answer was the only one that could be given, 'as long as we can ride it'

'We're supposed to guard the sheep, not eat 'em'

Offline YaadPyar

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Re: Friend's parents (mother) hated movie because there wasn't romance.
« Reply #52 on: May 25, 2006, 12:08:16 pm »

I mean I love a good "chick-flick" as well, but there are some (that many women love) like Beaches and Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood that I just can't get into, and I put this down to my perspective and the fact that I can't relate to them.  IMO the romance in those films is lost on me because they relate more to women than they do to men.  So I wonder how the detractors define "romance"?  When I look at BBM I see mountains (sorry for the pun) of romance, just buried under layers and layers of repression.  But really, it is this repression that is the central point of the film, the root cause of all the characters' misery, and ultimately the final tragedy. 


Wow, Chris - you live on the edge!  OK, ok, ok - chic flicks.  I get what you're saying, but Beaches and Ya-Ya as cultural touchstones for how women define romance?!?   I can't even begin to go there...  It's like saying that women are comfortable with maudlin sentimentality masquarading as romance, intimacy and connection.  That women like a movie with mediocre writing or acting as long as there's plenty of emoting.  I won't slam these movies as there may be some here who relate to them, but one thing we all have in common here is how deeply BBM touched us. 

We (none of us) didn't need obvious romance triggers as exhibited by standard chic-flick fare to tell us how to feel about Jack and Ennis, or we wouldn't be here at BetterMost having this conversation.  I would guess everyone here felt the incredible power and connection betweent Jack and Ennis, and we felt it in the story and in the movie, and didn't need 'chic-flik' tears and exposition and emotionality to see it.  I get that men and women think/feel differently, but gender doesn't discriminate in recognizing emotional truth presented so honestly and powerfully. 

I think chic-flicks and chic-lit (and now lad-lit, etc.), do such a disservice by convincing everyone that gender stereotypes reflect some universal emotional reality.  Maybe they reflect a reality of what happens when one is defined by materialism and the media, but dig a little deeper, and a lot of that silliness falls away.
"Vice, Virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality. If you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully." (Harold & Maude - 1971)

Offline YaadPyar

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Re: Friend's parents (mother) hated movie because there wasn't romance.
« Reply #53 on: May 25, 2006, 12:10:57 pm »
A question about the 'sending up a prayer' scene. After Ennis says 'we can get together once in a while', Jack asks 'For how long?' I thought this was a kind of odd question to ask to someone as you've basically just agreed to start/continue a secret love affair.
Off course Ennis' answer was the only one that could be given, 'as long as we can ride it'



I see Jack's question in the context of him having waited 4 long years to have Ennis confirm that their love, their relationship, was as real and important as he had felt all along, and he couldn't bear to walk away again like he did after the first summer.  He didn't want to lose any more time with the love of his life.
"Vice, Virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality. If you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully." (Harold & Maude - 1971)

Offline serious crayons

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Re: Friend's parents (mother) hated movie because there wasn't romance.
« Reply #54 on: May 25, 2006, 12:46:45 pm »
Wow, Chris - you live on the edge!  OK, ok, ok - chic flicks.  I get what you're saying, but Beaches and Ya-Ya as cultural touchstones for how women define romance?!?   I can't even begin to go there...  It's like saying that women are comfortable with maudlin sentimentality masquarading as romance, intimacy and connection.  That women like a movie with mediocre writing or acting as long as there's plenty of emoting.  I won't slam these movies as there may be some here who relate to them, but one thing we all have in common here is how deeply BBM touched us.

I know Chris can defend himself, but since it must be the middle of the night in Australia I feel compelled to step in. Actually, Celeste, I was about to jump all over Chris for this one, too. But then it occurred to me that someone likes Beaches and Ya-Yas, and it's certainly not men. (I had some 20-something male painters working at my house last summer and one day I overheard one of them tell the other, incredulously, "Yeah, so when I got home last night she was actually watching Beaches!!") I'm hoping that what Chris meant is not that all women like Beaches but that all Beaches fans are women.

Sadly, I do think there are plenty of "women who are comfortable with maudlin sentimentality masquerading as romance," just as there are plenty of  men who define seeing buildings and people get blown up (dick flicks) as some high quality entertainment. But clearly members of the BetterMost community (and plenty of others) don't fit into either of those categories.

I myself will confess to frequently liking movies that many would classify as "chick flicks" -- ie, light romantic comedies. I couldn't drag my husband there in a million years (he's not a blow-em-up guy, either; he likes very few movies, in fact, but when he does they're usually about politics or history of labor unions or something.) I try to read reviews closely enough to distinguish between good chick flicks and bad (maudlin) chick flicks and avoid the latter.

Actually I don't like the term "chick flicks" at all because, like chick LIT, it tends to ghettoize movies/books for and about women, many of which should appeal to audiences of both genders. (Like, is Friends With Money a chick flick? A lot of people would say yes, simply because the main characters are chicks and the director's a chick -- even though it's not very romantic, more like a Woody Allen film with women.)

Offline YaadPyar

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Re: Friend's parents (mother) hated movie because there wasn't romance.
« Reply #55 on: May 25, 2006, 01:14:35 pm »
I can't wait to hear what Chris has to say when he gets back here...

 ;)
"Vice, Virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality. If you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully." (Harold & Maude - 1971)

Offline SFEnnisSF

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Re: Friend's parents (mother) hated movie because there wasn't romance.
« Reply #56 on: May 25, 2006, 06:49:41 pm »
There's a great thread on TOB about this:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0388795/board/flat/44193921