I was wondering, if anything to accept love, you have to accept yourself, Ennis never really did that, it was an ongoing battle with him. Even before Jack, he was programmed to be a loner. A very careful person since his childhood, he was really never close to anyone in his life. shuffled after his parents death from sister to brother, then alone, how in anytime in his life was he ever close to anyone.
Then Jack comes along, Ennis's orientation, (and I don't mean sexual), but his nature of being a loner, was set on its ear. Jack gave him that closeness that he never had, but Jack was a man, his feeling for him was for a man I don't his fear was not only they be caught, but his fear was being "boys like you". His love for Jack ran counter to what he tried to be, and that was someone he wasn't. He desperately tried to hold on to Jack, but under conditions he only could deal with.
Ennis is a complicated guy, dealing with so much more than just the fear of discovery, but discovering who he is.
Am I off the mark on this one?