Your age and your favourite cowboy

[Penthesilea]

Pen, I've seen a woman live out her life in loneliness after losing the love of her life (to divorce in this case) like your friend.  She was my Mom.  And she died alone and an alcoholic in her little apartment when she was 60.

Barb, the man I wrote about was my dad. Nearly the same strory. Except my dad never made it to be sober for more than a few weeks. And he lost his wife to divorce, too. She left him for his best friend. So he lost his love and his friend at one time. And yes, he adored my children, his grandchildren, too.
Wheh I read your post I felt like you were writing *my* story.

So when I wrote that about Ennis, I wasn't just "making something up," I was tapping into something that really happens to people.

Jeff, like Barb already said: it really happens.

[ednbarby]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Pen.  And especially sorry you didn't get to see him while he was sober for a while.  You know, I can remember the exact moment when my mother first lost control with her drinking.  I was five.  Before that night, she had always waited until I was asleep in bed before she started.  But that night - I know it was a Sunday because we were watching "Wild Kingdom," she broke out the Galiano at around 7:00 p.m. and was three sheets to the wind by the time I put myself to bed at 8:30.  My Dad put her in rehab once when I was about seven, but back then it was only a psychiatric ward of a local hospital.  And all they could do was get her sober - they couldn't provide her with the tools she needed to stay that way.  I remember her first full day back from the hospital like it was yesterday.  How shaky she was, and that terrified look in her eyes.  I knew without really thinking about it consciously that it was only a matter of time before she started up again.  When she went into rehab when I was 13, it was for six months at a Betty Ford-like place.  And whatever they did there, which she never would talk to me in any amount of detail about, kept her clean and sober for 12 years.

I like to think of Ennis never starting to drink - not like Jack did, anyway.  If he has to die of an illness, I see it as lung cancer like Jeff sees it.  Not at all pleasant, but fitting.  And I love the thought of him dying in his sleep up on Brokeback, having found some measure of happiness in his life without Jack but never really being free until he can be with him again.  Hell, I'm tearing up again just thinking about it.

[Penthesilea]

'm so sorry to hear that, Pen. 

Same goes to you, Barb.

And especially sorry you didn't get to see him while he was sober for a while.

No need to feel sorry for that, because I was much older than you when my parents split and the drinking became a problem. And as long as I lived together with him (I stayed with him, not with my mother, after the breakup), at least he tried to pull himself together.

You know, I can remember the exact moment when my mother first lost control with her drinking.  I was five.

This is really bad. Five is way too young to be exposed to such experiences.

  I remember her first full day back from the hospital like it was yesterday. How shaky she was, and that terrified look in her eyes.  I knew without really thinking about it consciously that it was only a matter of time before she started up again.

Yes, I remember this, too. The shakyness, the incoherence and the confusion (amentia?) of the later years.

I like to think of Ennis never starting to drink - not like Jack did, anyway.  If he has to die of an illness, I see it as lung cancer like Jeff sees it.  Not at all pleasant, but fitting.  And I love the thought of him dying in his sleep up on Brokeback, having found some measure of happiness in his life without Jack but never really being free until he can be with him again.  Hell, I'm tearing up again just thinking about it.

Yes, I'd prefer lung cancer for Ennis, too (does this sound weird? I'm afraid so. But you know how I mean it).
But Ennis wasn't reluctant to alcohol, too. Remember the bottles in the bar when he met Cassie? Or even early in the story, when he waited for Jack at the reunion? Guess both possibilities seem possible. In the end I think both, drinking and smoking, would take it's toll on Ennis's health.

[Ellemeno]

As for me, there was a thread on the CT board "Heath and Jake both looked at me"--and my feeling is that if either Heath or jake, or Jack on Ennis, had ever looked a me, they would look the other way...so it's silly to speculate about that.

Ah, Julie, that was me who said that, about the Aero pilgrimage.  And believe me, I'm pretty sure they didn't see me as hot.  But it did seem like they each saw me as human.  That part's nice.

[DecaturTxCowboy]

I think Jack would be a hell of drinking buddy.  Translation: He'll prolly take off yer boots before throwing ya into bed.

Ennis...he's gonna turn a tad moldy if he don't git outta the closet.




Here about the gay Keebler Elf?   He came out of the cabinet.

[Shuggy]

Just going back on-topic briefly, at 63 votes, all ages and sexes are more likely to prefer Jack, but older people are less unlikely to prefer Ennis.

[serious crayons]

It's interesting that there's so much more correlation between genders than there is between ages.

[David In Indy]

I'm over 35 (43 actually) and I love Ennis! Who couldn't love that baby face? Those big shiny eyes, and that cute mouth of his; the "cupid's bow" shaped upper lip and the slightly thicker lower lip. And the cute nose he has. And everytime I see  Ennis, I just feel like taking care of him. He needs someone to take care of him.

[JennyC]

I have been reading this thread for sometime, but don't think I actually voted.

I am under 35 and Ennis is my guy.

p.s.  I highly recommend read through the posts here, in additional to cast your own vote.

[serious crayons]

the only thing now clear is that more people who voted prefer Jack.

That's because Ennisophiles are taciturn, like him, and therefore less likely to vote.