(AP.) (Immediate Release) Mr. and Mrs. Knee High Socks of Camden, ME, are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter, LL Bean Tote Bag Socks to Renegade Red Striped Socks, of Perth, Australia.
Tote Bag and Renegade met a year ago at a foot fetish affair. After a heel to heel courtship they realized their toes were locked. True love ensued.
Renegade is the grandson of Raggedy Ann and Andy. His maternal great-aunt is the Wicked Witch of the West. His family are proud of their striped sock heritage.
Tote Bag comes from a distinguished line of sacks, including Brown Sack, Plastic Sack, and Biodegradable Sack. Her great-grandfather, LL Bean Tote Bag, transmuted the sack gene to socks. The family is still scratching their heads over that, but are happy about the multi-channel marketing possibilities.
When asked about their future together, the happy fiancée said, “I love stripes and red and white are my favorite. I can think of nothing better than with being with Renegade for the rest of my life.” Renegade concurred, saying demurely, “All I want to do is dip my toes into her tote.”
A spring wedding is planned. Although plans are preliminary, the wedding party is likely to be barefoot. Guests should plan accordingly.