Cellar Scribblings

[Jeff Wrangler]

Every inch, a pessimist.

Yep, all six of 'em.

Though I prefer "cautious realist." 

[brianr]

Some of us do not have as interesting a life (except when I travel) as you. Last week was particularly dull. I went on my usual Monday afternoon walk (weather permitting) with 4 or 5 friends, all except me in late 70's or 80's. Then as it was the 5th Tuesday of the month there was no hike. I went to the movies "Private Peaceful"  by myself on Friday and was the only person in the theatre. I went to church as usual on Sunday morning,  So if I did not skype with my sister every morning I might have forgotten how to speak.

This week has been very different. Usual hike Monday afternoon.  The Ramblers (1st & 3rd Tuesdays) met as usual but being winter we only have a half day walk. it was a lovely day along the harbour shore.



At the end (12.30), I asked the 3 ladies in my car (we car pool) about lunch and they were all happy to go to a cafe nearby so we chatted until after 2 when I dropped them back to their cars.  One of them, Sue, then asked me if I would like to meet for lunch on Wednesday before our meeting. The same club (60+ club) meets on 1st wednesday and arranges monthly activities as well as has a speaker. I like Sue (she is a widow) and we often walk or sit together but do not want to give her the wrong idea. I have come out to some of the other ladies in the group and I think they talk to one another so hope Sue knows.

Anyway we had a nice lunch, went to the meeting. I sat with a new man, Jim who had also walked with us on Tuesday. He is only recently retired but put his name down for the film group and the coffee and culture group. I am often the only male at those activities.  He has at least one daughter who lives in Australia but do not know much else about him.

That night I went to a benefit concert for a young Maori baritone who has won a scholarship to study in Wales. It was wonderful and I sat with some other women from the 60+ group. They both have husbands who apparenty do other things, probably play golf  and are not into classical music. 

The International Film festival started here last night and I plan to see Hitchock's' North by North-west' this afternoon. Sue is also thinking of going. I told her I might need to hold her hand as I used to be scared stiff watching Hitchcock on TV as a teenager.

Our local Symphony orchestra has a concert tomorrow night and the Film Club is going to see "The Audience" with Helen Mirren on Sunday afternoon. 

On Monday night there is the only gay themed movie I can see in the festival. It is a French film called "Stranger by the Lake" and unfortunately does not start until 8.45pm. Perhaps I might meet a stranger there    Not likely with my luck in such matters. I have lots of women and straight men friends here in Dunedin but no-one who is openly gay.

There you are Chuck. I have stopped you talking to yourself but gone on and on.

[Katie77]

Both you Brian, and Chucky, seem to have such organised lives with regularity, and pre-arranged outings and entertainment. And I'm not saying anything is wrong with that, in fact, I envy your planning and always enjoy reading what you are both doing.

I am so opposite, it is not funny. One phone call on some morning, can change the course of my whole day, and sometimes even, the lack of a phone call can do the same thing.

I made up my mind when I retired, that I did not want to be committed to any particular volunteer work or anything else that would tie me down on a regular basis. Maybe I've missed out on some things and some company, because of this, particularly since my husband died. I dont know. This obviously stems from the times during my working life, when I really did not want to wake up some days or get out of bed, yet dutifully did so, because of my work committment. Days when I was just not feeling well, not sick enough to go to the doctor, but sick enough not to feel like going to work, but yet I did. And it wasn't that I had a job that I didn't like, I did, I loved my job, being there wasn't the problem, it was getting there that was, when I didn't feel up to it.

So now I sit here, some people might say, spending too much time on my computer, but on the other hand, ready to dash out of the house to visit someone who needs me, or jump up to answer the knock on the door, hoping its someone visiting for a chat,or its one of my kids or grand kids popping over to stay awhile, or other times, just generally doing the stuff that one has to do to keep a home in shape and my life in shape.

I cant say I'm bored, in fact the days pass too quickly sometimes....lonely, yes, many times, yet other times I enjoy just being here on my own.

When my husband died, I not only lost a wonderful partner, I also lost what I had considered my "normal" life. As time has gone on, I've created this new "normality", and I'm comfortable with it....Might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it suits me.

[brianr]

Hi Sue
Chuck, of course, still has his work. I am glad to be rid of that. Working with teenagers in high school is very stressful. I remember advising you to join groups when your husband died. I am glad you have not felt that necessary. However for me I would not meet anyone if I did not actively join up.
Even in Australia, I only had my sister who lived 80 km away and has no children. We do not keep in any real contact (Christmas cards???) with any of our cousins and none live nearby anyway.   It is a long story but I do not do any more than nod to my neighbours on either side. (on one side the lady is mental and swears at anyone who looks at her, at least she is civil or ignores me, the other side the lady and I had a disagreement over building my carport 2 years ago and I have not spoken to her since).  Fortunately the couple across the road keep an eye on my house when I am away so I go over to inform them of my plans but otherwise we just wave and discuss the weather.

We have been discussing this, both my friends and sister, this week.
One lady volunteers with meals on wheels and I feel I should do something for the community. However she tells me there is only one house she goes to where she would be willing to eat. Besides dropping the meal she has to check they are ok. Some are living in dumps surrounded by rubbish and she has difficulty getting them to open the door. I do not want to end up like that so make the effort to go out. I do not entertain at home, none of my Dunedin friends have ever visited my home.

[Katie77]

Just getting back to your previous post Brian.......The International Film festival started here last night and I plan to see Hitchock's' North by North-west' this afternoon. Sue is also thinking of going. I told her I might need to hold her hand as I used to be scared stiff watching Hitchcock on TV as a teenager.


Now, to an elderly lady, saying something like that "hold her hand" could be taken as flirtatious, and regardless of if anyone has told her you are gay, she still might tend to not believe it, or worse still, think she can change you...lol....OR most probably, she just enjoys your company. Tell the dear lady you are gay, that way neigher of you are wondering...

Not that I'm saying you should not be as friendly with her as you are, there is obviously some compatability there, and from what I've experienced, straight women and gay men seem to have a lovely connection...it seems to be a no strings attached nice friendship doing things you both like doing, which must make you both very happy.

Lack of complications seems to be what we are looking for as we enter our older years.

[CellarDweller]

Hello Bettermost friends!

Yup!  It's Friday & pay day! 

I'm feeling very positive today!  I've managed to pay my bills, take the money I need for spending, and actaully have some left over for savings.

On top of that, I've really been working at the Exception Report I was talking about earlier in the week, and It appears I've managed to clear approximately 40 exceptions from the report this week!!  I'm very stoked about that!   If all goes well, come Monday, the report should have under 100 exceptions on it.  That is, unless a repeat of this week occurs, and a bunch of them show up.



I hope I didn't jinx myself!   


Hiya to both Brian and Sue!  Very cool posts here, thanks for sharing!  I enjoy hearing about your days/weeks.  You may not thing that you're doing much, but your conversations made for interesting reading!  Brian, loved the pic of the train track, very atmospheric.

I also appreicated your comments about retirement, and how you both see it differently.  My parents are retired as well, but still "work".   Dad worked for years on the railroad, long hours, and mom ran a day care center out of the house.   Dad officially retired from his railroad job a while ago, and works for the town as a crossing guard.  He works Sept through June, 7-9 in the morning, and then 2-4 in the afternoons.  The rest of the day is his.   Mom is now a teacher's aide in a pre-school class.  She works 7:45 - 12:30 Mon-Fri, and like dad, has summers off.

They don't do much traveling, they're homebodies, but they have learned to relax and enjoy retirement.  Occasional day trips to the shore or to Pennsylvania to visit relatives is about as far as they go.

[Jeff Wrangler]

You never told us your daddy was a railroadin' man.

So what happened to you? 

 

[CellarDweller]

You never told us your daddy was a railroadin' man.

So what happened to you? 

 

Aw shaddup!     Don't you have some more college students to go drool over?

      *runs from Jeff*

[Jeff Wrangler]

Aw shaddup!     Don't you have some more college students to go drool over?

      *runs from Jeff*

  

I play with toy trains for fun, but you could have played with the real thing and got payed for it!

  

[Front-Ranger]

Now, behave you two and share your toys!!  Chuck, you have some high-class entertainment here today! I would also like to say that I envy people like you guys who have organized lives and are able to travel for pleasure. Sometimes with me it seems like I'm just living under the thumb of other people sometimes. Maybe I would be a good candidate for living on my own...I'll probably get to try that out pretty soon. I do get to travel, and sometimes that's the only way I can get out from under their thumbs! I confess I don't really know what retirement is all about, but maybe I am retired and just don't know it yet.