A relative of mine fits all that RC criteria. When I brought up the issue of transubstantiation and how kinda gross that sounded, she merely replied, "But I poop Him out again."
Sorta puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?
I remember in pre-Vatican II days, what a lot of fuss there was if the priest dropped the host whilst giving communion. In those days, the host was placed directly onto the outstretched tongue of the communicant by the priest. If the priest dropped the host en route (I guess that should be "
Host"), a special little ornate silver dustpan and broom was brought out and the priest (only a priest could do it) would pick up the host and then ceremoniously brush the area where the host had fallen, just incase particles of the Sacred Personage had fallen off, when it (He?!) hit the floor. The priest then had to consume (yes,
consume!) the contents of the dustpan! Fortunately, the good ladies of the parish always kept the church squeaky clean, so there was no dust in the dustpan - only bodyparts!