Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Heath Ledger Remembrance Forum

For help dealing with sadness ...

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louisev:
I was in chat with some fellow Brokies last night when Daniel Day Lewis accepted the award for Best Actor at the SAGs, and gave his heartfelt dedication to Heath.  I would suggest watching that Youtube dedication, because it shows that someone who was himself an actor, an Oscar winner, a seasoned professional career person on national TV, who also NEVER MET HEATH, got choked up and felt moved to share his response to Heath's performance in Brokeback Mountain and dedicated his award to him, can be just as moved by grief as anyone else, and he is in the same shoes the rest of us are in.

It really shows that grief shared is diminished.  And I think that is what so many of us are spinning our wheels about - whether we have the "right" to feel grief over Heath's passing.

Katie77:
Dont be afraid to mourn and grieve or feel sad......we do have the right, the feelings are real, the loss we feel is real.

And just the same, dont be afraid to move on either....there is no time limit on grief, it is not wrong to grieve more than someone else, nor is it wrong to move on.....it is not a measure of how much we loved someone, or miss someone, by how much we grieve for them.

I remember many many years ago, when I had just lost my dear sister, and I was talking to an old lady, who in her lifetime had lost five of her children, and I asked her how do you cope, how do you go on.....and in her wise, matter of fact way, she said....."you just move on....you never forget....but you do get over it"

Brown Eyes:

--- Quote from: ineedcrayons on January 28, 2008, 04:01:12 pm ---Thanks for the great suggestions, everybody.

A couple of people have mentioned the value of writing. Many people do find writing to be therapeutic. For those who would like to share their words with others, I'd like to direct you to a new thread on this forum called "Express what you're feeling, at any length," created for you to do just that.

http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,16698.0.html


--- End quote ---

Thank you Katherine for setting up both this current thread and the "Express What You're Feeling" thread.  This is all really a wonderful help.  Today I feel like I'm a true mess.  Exhausted, grumpy with folks in "real life" and just really, really sad.  I mean, I've been sad this whole time... but today it's a different level.  I guess all of this will go in waves for a long time to come.
:(


MaineWriter:

--- Quote from: atz75 on January 28, 2008, 10:44:26 pm ---Thank you Katherine for setting up both this current thread and the "Express What You're Feeling" thread.  This is all really a wonderful help.  Today I feel like I'm a true mess.  Exhausted, grumpy with folks in "real life" and just really, really sad.  I mean, I've been sad this whole time... but today it's a different level.  I guess all of this will go in waves for a long time to come.
:(


--- End quote ---

Join the club, Amanda. Sounds like we are on the same timeline. I have been a mess today, too, and now I am sobbing over the pictures of the tulips in the snow. Sigh...

It will get better but it is so hard....

L

Brown Eyes:

--- Quote from: MaineWriter on January 28, 2008, 10:49:48 pm ---Join the club, Amanda. Sounds like we are on the same timeline. I have been a mess today, too, and now I am sobbing over the pictures of the tulips in the snow. Sigh...

It will get better but it is so hard....

L

--- End quote ---

{{{Leslie}}}  Yeah, I thought I was doing OK through the weekend.  But, today sort of knocked me out.  I really do think this will be a rollercoaster of emotions for quite a long time to come.
 :-\

It's really striking me how much this has really, truly become our reality with regards to Heath: 

"nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it you've got to stand it."
 :'( :'( :'(


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