Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Heath Ledger Remembrance Forum

Express what you're feeling, at any length

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serious crayons:
I've noticed several people have written longish posts describing their feelings about Heath, his effect on their lives, their reaction to his death, their efforts to cope with grief, their ability (or not) to watch Brokeback, their admiration for his talent, etc. At least one person who wrote something long like that said he felt better afterward. Sometimes being able to pour out emotions in writing can be very therapeutic.

So this thread is for people to express themselves. I envision it as less like a discussion than like a blog with multiple authors. Write whatever you like, whatever you're feeling. Don't worry about limiting the length or keeping on topic. Nothing involving Heath is off-topic here, and any length is fine. If you want to comment on others' posts, that's fine too. But if you just want to talk about what you yourself are going through and feeling and thinking, this is the place for it.

moremojo:
I am keenly aware of the extensive grief that has engulfed, is engulfing so many of our members...and yet I've felt strangely detached for most of this week. Why? I was certainly saddened and surprised to learn of Heath's unexpected death (was online here when the news broke), and cried a bit, but didn't feel devastated then or since. The reason for this is that I truly believe that Heath is simply in another place right now--the essence of who he is lives on, and indeed, in the fullness of Eternity we will all know him, and he us. I truly believe this. Leslie's remarkable, beautiful story of her visitation from Heath only helps to confirm my faith.

I grieve more for those that are left behind: Michelle, Matilda, the parents, the sisters, the friends, and the fans. We are still grappling with the shadows, the uncertainties, and the pain upon pain that "all flesh is heir to". It is hard, no way around that, and I hope I can always be understanding and supportive of those experiencing grief, just as I hope myself to be comforted when subject to great sadness and hardship. It really is okay to cry for Heath, and it's even okay to cry for Ennis (Lord knows I've done lots of that), but I don't think we need to (unless we need to for our own purposes). Heath and Ennis are FREE, and safe, and loved...and not ever lost.

cmr107:
What a good idea. I was about to post this on the grieving thread, but this seems better. I am not particularly religious, but as my parents are both pastors, I have grown up going to church every Sunday. Then I went away to college, and now only go to church when I am home with my parents. I was home this past weekend and went to church yesterday. At a congregational meeting after the service yesterday, the pastor, who has been the pastor of that church for 30 years (I am only 21 years old) announced that he would retire at the end of the year. I immediately got tears in my eyes, and proceeded to have tears streaming down my face for about 15 more minutes until the end of the meeting. I am usually not someone who cries in public, so this was really weird, but I just couldn't stop. It occurred to me later that I had not cried since hearing about Heath. This pastor is one of the most wonderful people I know, and I have known him my whole life, but I do not think I would normally have had such a strong reaction to news of his retirement. He is not even moving away. He will still be in my hometown, just not the pastor of the church I hardly ever go to anymore. I think that this news combined with news of Heath just really hit me hard. I just wanted to share this with all of you because while almost everyone I know is sad about Heath, I do not think they would understand this. Thank you for listening, and thank you for always being here even when I have been away for so long.  :-*

louisev:
My feelings are very similar to Scott's here, though I did not feel "detached" through the week, I felt at first rather disoriented and unreal, on Tuesday, and was intensely focused on the news from then until early Thursday.  But by Thursday I was sensing, and also telling people, that all was as it should be, that Heath left us when he had intended to leave us, because it was part of a life plan that none of us really new or understood - that he went on to do other things.  

It felt at first very wrong - that he had left a film uncompleted, questions unanswered, fatherhood that he could not fulfill, but who are we to say what constitutes fulfillment, and who are we to judge whether or not his work was done, by his lights?

My beliefs are that material incarnation is a state of limitation, and that the incorporeal state after the transition of death, is one of liberation and reunion with the All, the Cosmic Intelligence.  The ones who need our sympathy are those who have lost the comfort of his presence, but Heath, as Scott said eloquently enough, is beyond the need for comfort. He has gone home.

Artiste:
WE are in pain... was and will be; as the song says on the TV serie: To-day is another day, I know I can make it through!! To that, we can make it through with sadness as well as more and more joys... may I say. I feel that is how Heath did lovingly for himself and for us all too!!

Thanks for the added thread ineedcrayons and well explained! I wish I had your talent!

Thanks too moremojo, and well thought too! I sure wish I had your talent too!!

Thanks Louise too... yours just arrived; I will read it now soon.

There are many ways to feel as we did for many days, do now and will for the rest of our lives.

Some persons are sad, very much some others; some persons as in some cultures rejoice as the accent because that past person lives and did give herself/himself to us all!! Either way, these days are sad as well as we can hope for finding joys Heath brought us for forever!! May I say!!

A brilliant actor making his Ennis real for all of us to be sad as well as happy, and happier and happier!! I feel and see in the superb Heath!! Our SUPERMAN!!


To me, He wanted us to be all happy and amiable always no matter what sex orientations, no matter which issue we cope with... since everything and everyone is important!! He was and still is real to-day and will be forever to me, for me and for all on Earth!!

May I add, that varying and multiplying our threads and posts may help?? Many different subjects too!! And looking at comedies, even this clip about cats talking just sent by my niece helps me; maybe you too?
http://www.metacafe.com/w/937647/

She sent me one too which has cats that do talk! If you like... to see it. Or for anything else/reason/thought/etc., please reach me and  don't be shy!!

Laughing helps... I find now too. I remember Heath laughing as Ennis, plus in his real life; may we all cherish that too!!

Something I forgot... will be said later I guess. I like all comments!!

Hugs to you 2 and to all too!!  Heath we like your smiles!! Always will too!!

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