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TOTW 08/08: What if they had lived together? Would Ennis's fears have allowed a

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Penthesilea:
Howdy BetterMost folks,

our resident Myprivatejack brought up an interesting thought a little while ago. Here's what she wrote:

„For Jack having  this sweet life together would be a kind of liberation, sure. But for Ennis would be sooner or later to deepen in his fears and doubts, he would live in a constant negation of himself and their relationship, as ever. I don´t know if their living together would be so idyllic as Jack thought. But this is perhaps another thread...“  (12/20/07)

Thank you Myprivatejack for bringing up this question!  :)


Sooo, let's push girls loved to pieces, smiling eight month olds and self-built loops aside for a moment and let's discuss What if...?


What if they had lived together? Would Ennis's fears have allowed a sweet life?


Do you think once Ennis had taken the leap he would have managed to reign his fears? Or would  the feeling of being looked at suspiciously, knowingly have driven him into paranoia? How much would it have stained their relationship?

Katie77:
No matter how they did it, or where they lived together, there was always going to be complications and I think Ennis would have felt "uncomfortable" each time a problem arose.

I am not sure what the legal status of homosexuals was in America in the sixties, but if it was illegal, then that in itself would have probably been the biggest hurdle.

Regardless of the legalities of it, they were probably unlikely to have been able to live together openly as partners, so they would have had to have concocted some sort of "fake" relationship to the community where they lived. Possibly saying they were brothers or cousins.

Of course once they started saying things that were not  true, then more and more fabrications would continue, and that in itself would be an uncomfortable situation and more than likely they would be found out sooner or later. Extremely clever people find it hard to carry on living a lie, let alone two humble cowboys.

Then of course they have their children, who at some time or another would appear in their new life and they would probably be inquisitive themselves about the relationship, not to mention the curiosity of the community of who they belonged to, and where did they come from.

It is highly unlikely that their relationship would have been the "sweet life" that Jack had pictured. They could hide away from the outside world for a few weeks a year, like they did, but on a full time basis it would have been close to impossiible not to arouse some suspicion.

Sooner or later it would all take its toll on the relationship and the  paranoia would eat away at Ennis and I would say, even Jack may develop similar uneasy feelings as well.

 

optom3:
My view on this changes daily.
On a good day it would have ben roses round the door and happy ever after,as society with passing years grew more accepting,so allaying Ennis fears.He would grow more confident wrapped in the security of Jack's love for him and his own.
On a bad day,Ennis would continue, with his fears being too deep rooted by now ,to ever leave him completely at ease.Jack would battle daily and eventually become worn down by the negativity and so find himself indulging in illicit affairs.
As a side note,an aquaintance and I were talking about BBM only last week.He is a gay man,wise in a way I can only dream of.Anyway he is late 60's and has been with his partner for 30 years now.So were together openly around the time of the mid 70"s.
They were in  rural area of the States and he commented that he had more problems here in Florida than he ever had in rural states.He had been married before he came out and here is the interesting thing,he got custody of the kids!!!!! O.K hs wife was a drug addict,but even so,an openly gay man bringing up kids with his partner,back then.
His sympathy in the film lay with Alma,which I thought was also interesting.He argued that,he had decided he could not live a lie so left his wife,who already had drug problems by then and took his courage in both hands to live the life he wanted.
He openly says it has not been easy,and has had his own battles on route,including loosing a child to drugs and his own alcoholism(now dry for 15 years)The point I am making is that even back then,there were people who just took the plunge.
I take nothing away from the film which will always be my firm favorite,no other even comes close.It just seemed interesting in view of the topic.
This man had to deal with enormous prejudice which I cannot even conceive,imagine the parent teacher meetings!!! Yet he still persued his dream and is with his partner still.
So I guess I wish that Ennis had been possesed of that courage too.But then if he had I would probably not have been as affected by the film.Happy ever after, does not wring out the emotions in the same way.
Also would their love have survived permanance,or was the flame kept alive by the infrequency.Who knows,but it is certainly interesting to speculate.
On  final note,if it had been happy ever after,would it have so radically affected so many peoples lives.It certainly made me face up to my demons,and confront some isues,and I know that has been the case for many here at Better Most.

Brown Eyes:
Well, anyone who reads fanfic will know that this scenario is played out across dozens of different stories.  In most cases after lots of angst, drama and complexities dealing with Ennis's fears, Jack's insecurities and issues with the community/family things work out through the strength of their love.  So, at this stage it's sort of easy for me to imagine ways that it could work out.  And, honestly, this is actually how I really imagine things might have worked out if Jack and Ennis had tried living together.

Actually, I think Ennis's fears would be less of a problem than the two of them adjusting to the realities of living together on a day to day basis.  I could imagine that could be tricky for the two of them for a while.  We know that they reached a point of "domestic" harmony living together on Brokeback.  So, we know they're suited to making living arrangements together.  Translating that to a house/ranch, etc. outside of the isolation of camping trips would take some work for the two of them, I think.

In terms of Ennis's fears... once he made the initial scary decision to go ahead an move in with Jack, I think he would be OK.  Ennis is so stubborn that once he makes a decision and commits to it, he seems very determined to see that decision work out.  I can imagine this attitude carrying over in a positive way to making a living situation with Jack work.

Their relationship would surely be complicated, be rocky and go through ups and downs... but I think that's the reality of all relaitionships.

myprivatejack:
Above all,thanks to you Penthesilea¡ :)  My opinion is the same than the ones  who has written up to now; one thing is LOVING somebody and another,sometimes very and painfully different,is LIVING with him/her.In this sense,I think their love was forever,no matter even if they split,but their relationship would be harder to endure...Sometimes I've wondered if they maintained this Love's flame because they were apart,for these problems in sharing their life they'd had; and also because their living apart could easily magnifise this relationship,in the sense that one can then see the other's faults as littler,as less significants,or easier to overcome...
Moreover,maybe the nice BBM memories made them living somehow in this age,being more in love with the image they had of each other from that time than with the real persons they were.It's not unusual -I say this for my own experience...-that we project the image and memories we have from a time,a circumstance or a person into the current ones,not realising that everything is change:,sometimes for good,but sometimes also for bad, what we not always are willing,or able,to see.What's your opinion about this BBM times reflex in their lives to come,BTW?.
I'm afraid Ennis and Jack had had too many difficulties in sharing their lives,mainly because the first had builded a wall to protect him and his lover from the social and religious environment that surrounded them;but the first and greater stone he threw to this wall ALWAYS,was himself.And that is hard to endure... :-\

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