I believe Ennis was a bad father in the way that he - as the story went - took 'fishing trips' with Jack, but never brought home any fish, even though according to the movie's Alma "me and the girls love fish' and he never took
them on any trips.
But he did 'buy them ice cream'.
In other words, Ennis found time for himself and his freedom to be himself was so important to him that he quit his jobs when he was younger so he could be with Jack being away from his family for sometimes a week at a time, maybe once or twice a year, regardless of his family's needs.
In the meantime never taking his family on any trips.
Alma and the children hardly have any social life at all as a family. Alma can suggest, but Ennis has to agree to an outing for it to happen and they're always local, one day events. Nothing like a camping trip on the mountains for a week.
Ennis loves his girls, but when his job calls or Jack comes up, he's quick to dump them on Alma and is gone. He loves them at his convenience.
This changes after the divorce, but as was pointed out, by the time Junior is 19, he has no clue what she is doing with her life, meaning, he's not seeing his girls regular even when he can.
When he and Alma had the fight, right in front of the girls who were on the swingset, he's pretty much telling the girls he can't be bothered to serve them dinner!!
And I disagree with
Pete where he said:
I also liked the scene of Ennis with the girls and the swing - I thought it was very cute and also was touched by how seemingly unaffected the girls were by their parents bickering - I think they were very confident in the love their parents had for them.
I thought the girls were very affected by their parents bickering. I was one of those children once. The girls don't turn their father down with a sunny smile when he asks "Y'all need a push or sumptin'?" They had been watching the fight, stopping their swinging, then when he turns his attention back to them, they
quickly turn away - trying to get out of the line of fire and out from under his attention, lest they get the force of his displeasure aimed at
them and say 'No."
In the story it says he used the fight to not see his girls until they were old enough to get out from under Alma's radar. This sounded like an excuse, IMO. He wasn't willing to risk further confrontations and decided to - again - dump his girls when his needs were most important. His girls were not going to understand his reasoning. As far as they were concerned, he abandoned them. They wouldn't even have his side of the story, a different opinion from their mother's. Yes, sometimes later in life they appreciate it. Sometimes. Other times, they don't care to have anything to do with a father who was more concerned with his own life than theirs.
And finally, Ennis' attitude towards his marriage and Alma didn't help his image as a good father. Again, he was wayward, used to taking off on his own whenever it suited him, leaving Alma to pick up his slack. The children also saw this. Can you blame Junior for taking more of a shine to her father than her mother? Her mother is a drudge. Her father gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants, is independent, takes vacations where
he wants to go and lets someone else do the work. I'd want to have my father's life instead of my mother's too, if I were her.
So basically, I think Ennis was a bad father. I think Jack was better in several respects, but since my comment was originally aimed at Ennis, I'll just stick with him.