Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum

a girl with an opinon

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starboardlight:
you're right. I don't think anyone here condones cheating. For me it's not about getting past the cheating but rather seeing deeper into it. If you only look at people's action and condemn them for it, you're only seeing a detail and missing the big picture. Often times, people hurt others because they themselves are in pain. Look deeper behind the actions, and you'll see that they are just as human as anyone else. All the characters are in so much pain for most of their lives, and you want so much for them to find happiness. Alma was able to extricate herself out of that painful situation. Ennis and Jack however have no where to go. Society at that time just didn't have a place for them. These men are not saints. They're just normal men. I put myself in their shoes, and I honestly can't say that I'd live any differently.

I think the film is brilliant in it's unflinching look at both the good and the bad, the ambiguous and the contradictory in the story. The contradiction have made me  more compassionate, especially to those who seem to least deserve it, because there's a lot of pain in people lives. In understanding people's pain, you can then begin to understand how to help them heal. When you can do that, only then you can you begin to break the cycle of cheating and hurting.

You have to ask yourself, if you're going to condemn the men for cheating, what can you do to make sure that men like these don't cheat? Will you simply stand in judgement? or will you try to help them feel free to be who they really are?

starboardlight:

--- Quote from: bbm_stitchbuffyfan on April 07, 2006, 10:40:40 pm ---I agree that it's greatly unfortunate that Alma and Lureen had to endure such pain from the boys' secret affair but I just cannot find it in myself to blame Ennis and Jack. I care too much about them, and feel too much sympathy for them, to point fingers at them for what they did. These men were so in love with each other and so lost and (deep-down) depressive without each other, that even if they didn't cheat on their wives, their marriages still probably would have failed. (I realize Lureen and Jack's marriage didn't come to an end in this film but we are informed that their marriage is progressing awfully.)

--- End quote ---

i think this is a good point. whether they cheated or not, the men just didn't have the capacity to connect emotionally with their wives. that ultimately is where the hurt came from. they should never have been married in the first place. I tend to want to blame society for this. Some might argue, but for young men and women, there was and still is tremendous pressure to get married. From family member constantly asking "when are you going to marry?" to rumors flying about if you're not married by a certain age. For men like Ennis and Jack, in their time, rumors can be a death sentence. 

Front-Ranger:
We miss you, iluvchocolate! Get your scrawny A back to BetterMost!!

squashcourt:
Hi everyone,

I'm just shaking my head here from left to right - somehow, I just cringe with annoyance when I hear the expression "cheating" in the situation between Jack and Ennis.

You can cheat in cards (in poker it's called bluffing); you can cheat your employer; you can cheat in golf; you can cheat in a marathon race - I can go on and on, but don't refer to Jack's and Ennis's passion for each other as cheating on someone else.  You can comment, you can even make a remark, but don't make a judgement!

Affectionately,

Pierre -  >:(

Ellemeno:

--- Quote from: goadra on January 20, 2007, 09:05:54 pm ---What is this film about?

Two people who fall in love with each other?s souls, irrespective of gender?

Gay or bisexual men compelled by society and their own minds to pretend to live straight lives?

Undereducated ?dummies? who are belittled by former employers or teased by prospective girlfriends, or made to feel unworthy at dinner parties?

Wounded wives, scorned girlfriends, neglected children? Life in lonesome places, where a big treat is driving to town once a week for ice cream?

Foremen who demand that their workers show up on Christmas, in a blizzard? Bosses who hire and lose the same employee two or three times a year?

Mothers who cherish their sons despite horrid fathers? Siblings who drift so far apart in adulthood that they live in three different towns?

Devoting 20 years of your life to an unsatisfactory situation? Fear of losing the one you love because you demand or hold back too much?

--- End quote ---

Wow.  Barbara, you are a treasure.

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