Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
Getting in Touch With Your Feelings About Brokeback Mountain
twistedude:
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Rayn:
Hello Everyone...
Well, I thought I'd seen the movie enough (4 x on DVD, 1 x on the Big Screen), but I'm craving it again! It feels like wanting chocolate or some other desire for food. I keep telling myself I've seen it enough, but the craving comes back anyway. Will I need "Brokeback Anonymous" soon or what!? LOL
Ok, I know that because of where I am in my life and where I work right now (Asia), I'm escaping my situation a bit by watching it. That's what movies are... mostly escape. I'm "living" the fantasy of an intense relationship in the movie because I don't have one right now myself. I think as long as I'm aware of that, I can watch it again... Yes, watch it as many times as I like! I'm an "adult", I can do that if I want! LOL
I know there are other people who have seen it as many as 10 or more times. So at least I'm not as "gone" as they are! ::) There has to be a point at which I tire of it, right?
Maybe....
On the "reality" side of my life, my new friendship with my former lover is really good. He took me out to a live theater show and then Outback Streak House for my Birthday last week, sang the Birthday Song in his wonderful baritone voice. He's been great, so supportive.
I'm looking for better employment too and keeping up with the job I have now. But I'm just wondering... Should I have the BBM Poster I got at the theater framed or not? I'm not obsessing, I'm not, I'm not , really >>>>>>>> Ok, I am a bit and that's why I'm here again.
More as it happens....
Peace,
Rayn
texman:
Last night my wife brought home Brokeback Mountain on DVD for us to watch. I really hadn't any idea at all about the movie, but she wanted me to watch it with her. It wasn't too long before I became fully engrossed in the movie. But about half way through I started to develop this sense of sadness that grew more and more intense as the movie played on..
I'm usually the kind a guy who doesn't let anything unnerve me. I work in a very macho type environment. Our behaviour is based on most of our past military training. This is just to give you an idea from where I am coming from. When my parents passed away I didn't even shed a tear. It was just a fact of life to me.
Finally when the movie got to the part where Jack and Ennis are fighting over the coulda shoulda ideals at Brokeback and the famous line comes "I wish I knew how to quit you". I started getting tearly eyed. And then when Ennis just collapses by Jack, the tears really started to flow. My wife asks me "WHAT is wrong with you? This is only a movie!". But as we continued with the movie, only to find out that Jack was dead my depressive state just worsened. At the end of the movie, when Ennis looked at the shirts in the closet I really lost it. I tried to compose myself for at least an hour before I went to bed. My wife is seriously concerned how this movie could have affected me this way. She cried through it too, but I think she has a better understanding of this film than I do.
Believe it or not, I am still periodically crying about this darned film. I certainly couldn't go to work today. Crying on my job could get me fired! I am at a total loss as to why I am feeling like this? I would never consider a relationship with another man, but I am feelng just so depressed about this movie!
On a very bizarre note, we love the Teton Mountains in Wyoming (I know the movie was filmed in Canada, but it susposedly takes place in Wyoming) and a long time ago when I made up my will, I specified that I want my ashes spread somewhere in the Teton range next to a stream. And look what happened at the end of the movie about Jack's final wishes.
moremojo:
Hi, texman,
Thank you so much for your heartfelt post. I'm glad you found your way to BetterMost and felt comfortable enough to share your story with us.
The feelings you describe are very similar to those of so many others who have experienced this remarkable film. I first saw the film theatrically on Februay 18th (the day before I turned thirty-nine), and I have been crying every single day since...no other movie has affected me like this. Ennis and Jack are in my mind when I wake up in the mornings, and they're there when I go to bed at night. They feel like real people to me, who have assumed permanent lodging in my heart...simply amazing that fictional characters can have this kind of effect on one.
I know that that's rough to be overwhelmed with emotion at one's place of work. I've been dealing with this ever since February, and luckily am in a job where I'm not around people all the time. I can say that, with repeated viewings (I've seen the film a total of five times in the theater), the story's happier moments gain more prominence, and the sadness is mitigated by the joy that these characters do know at some points. But the sadness has not gone away, and I'm not sure if or when it will.
If I can make a suggestion, it would be to go with your feelings--explore them for what they are, and don't try to suppress them (outside of "inappropriate" contexts such as the workplace). The whole story of "Brokeback Mountain" is about the dangers of repressing one's emotional life, and of how such stifling of the spirit can poison and destroy human lives. This film is giving people a remarkable opportunity to examine their own lives, to reflect not only on past regret but to seize present and future opportunity, to forge ahead with renewed appreciation for the good and beautiful things around us. It is, in my opinion, nothing less than a miracle.
This whole site is about offering folks like us, who have been profoundly affected by this film, "to finish the story in our own lives". We will be here to read and support you as you continue posting. Peace and strength be with you...
Scott
Aussie Chris:
--- Quote from: texman on April 12, 2006, 04:43:44 pm ---Finally when the movie got to the part where Jack and Ennis are fighting over the coulda shoulda ideals at Brokeback and the famous line comes "I wish I knew how to quit you". I started getting tearly eyed. And then when Ennis just collapses by Jack, the tears really started to flow. My wife asks me "WHAT is wrong with you? This is only a movie!". But as we continued with the movie, only to find out that Jack was dead my depressive state just worsened. At the end of the movie, when Ennis looked at the shirts in the closet I really lost it. I tried to compose myself for at least an hour before I went to bed. My wife is seriously concerned how this movie could have affected me this way. She cried through it too, but I think she has a better understanding of this film than I do.
--- End quote ---
Good for you texman, I love it when straight men get this film. You're on the path now, and it really and truly gets easier from here, so hang in there and give yourself some room to process the medicine you've just swallowed! You'll be glad you did. One thing though, I don't know you or your wife, but it sounds to me like you left you wife in the dust when it comes to understanding Brokeback Mountain. Keep reading, and sharing, you'll know why I say this in time. ;)
Glad you joined us here at BetterMost. Take care, Chris.
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