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Getting in Touch With Your Feelings About Brokeback Mountain

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texman:
I think I finally figured out what happened to me with this movie. I've been married about 25 years with two sons in college. Before I married my wife, I dated another gal for a few years beforehand. We were in love and I seriously considered marrying her. But she was the cool, professional type of woman and I felt that I wasn't getting what I needed on a supportive level from her. We argued about this a little and I finally dumped her figuring that she wasn't the one for me, cause if you don't like somthing about someone before you marry them, you'll really not like it later!  I later regreted this decision for about a year or so after. Over the years I have periodically thought about what would have happened if I had actually married her. I think this film opened these old wounds on me and I'm paying the price now for not dealing with the situation more effectively back then.  As they say in the movie, ole' Brokeback got me good. Now that I've realized this, I'm back to square one again.
 I haven't mentioned this to my wife as she thinks that I've totally flipped out over this movie and can't understand my interest in it. She's said "this is SO unlike you!" She also said it disturbs her to see HER strength in life fall apart over such an unlikely source as a movie about two guys who have a love affair.

 A situation is a situation regardless of the gender of the partners and their orientation, I finally realized.  You must make your choices based on what you feel is the best direction to follow and don't look back and dwell on the shoulda, coulda, woulda's.

 I think that Jack wasted too much time on Ennis, and never really got what he wanted on a supportive level. I think that's what he was thinking in the last scene when he watched Ennis drive away for the last time. He looked pissed off that he wasted so much time with a person that couldn't give him what he needed. It's a shame that those two's last time together ended in an argument. I think the thing that grabbed me the most is when Ennis collapses at the climax of the scene. I find it very uncomfortable to watch a man cry like that. I feel like my own makeup was feeling the emptyness Jack had in his life, while my own personallity is like that of Ennis', minus the violent outburts.
 
 Extremely powerful stuff.

I am so glad this forum is here because I really have anybody who I can discuss all this with. When I try to discuss it with my wife, I get all teary eyed and choked up and this disturbs here even more, to the point where I think she's getting pissed off. Thanks so much for being here.

DeeDee:
Hey texman!
Welcome to the club.  I actually saw this movie 20 times in the theater, and the last time I forced my husband to go with me.  When the movie ended, I asked him, "well?" He just looked at me and said "wow, this was not what I expected."
I knew that and that's why I made him go.  We talked about all the way home and the next day.  He was sincerely overwhelmed.  And HE said to me, "that's not a gay cowboy movie, what are these people talking about."

So it's so nice to hear from another straight man.  I feel anyone with a soul will be touched by this story.

As for the last scene, with Ennis and Jack, I thought Jack had a look of sadness in him. He seemed to be resolved to the fact that he was going to give Ennis up, and that just tore my heart out.

I also think that one of Heath Ledgers best moments, (and there were many) is when he visits Jacks parents and realizes Jack  had someone else.  I love the way his face changes and his nostrils flare with such sublety, that if you blink, you'll miss it.

Welcome again texman...hope to hear from you soon.


 :)

hermitdave:
Yes Deedee, I agree with everything you said. I think that when Ennis found out Jack made plans with the ranch foreman to move to Jacks parents farm-he (Ennis)- was stunned . I believe that he quickly realized that although Jack found someone else-it was only because Ennis had once again refused Jacks offer of a life together. I believe Ennis knew that he was still Jacks one and only love. That Jacks admission that sometimes he missed him so much he could hardly stand it-was his final plea and that Jack was with someone else out of pure tortured lonliness.He knew it wasnt what he and Jack shared. He finally heard what Jack had been saying all along.

DeeDee:
I'll tell ya, I love your tag.  BBM changed me beyond words.  I never thought ANY movie would do that.
Even after numerous viewings, I found myself yelling at the screen..."Ennis you fool, this man loves you."  LOL.  It's a wonder I wasn't put away yet.

hermitdave:
Yeah I know. I cant get these two out of my mind. I find myself thiking about them all day and night. Ive even been dreaming about them. I went out yesterday to buy the book. The clerk asked me if I had seen the movie. I started to tell her about it-and could only say a few words before I started to cry. I never let my emotions show in public. I feel like I am a differant person than before I saw this movie. I believe I will have them in my heart and mind for the rest of my life.

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