The World Beyond BetterMost > The Culture Tent
In the New Yorker...
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on November 23, 2013, 10:01:28 pm ---Five to ten years ago, if I heard a woman refer to "my partner" I would assume her partner was a woman, and sometimes would be mildly surprised to find it was a man. But these days it has become such a common locution that I don't make assumptions one way or another when someone says it.
--- End quote ---
I guess I don't hang around enough straight people. I've never heard a straight woman refer to the man in her life as her partner.
--- Quote ---I decided to retrieve the relevant passages. She doesn't appear to be quite bending over backward to avoid revealing gender -- the sentences feel graceful and natural -- yet the omission, over three mentions, doesn't feel quite random, either. Meanwhile, at least two men in the piece are referred to as having wives.
--- End quote ---
I'm sure it wasn't random.
--- Quote ---I agree that the partner's gender is not crucial to the story. But the essay is full of details that, strictly speaking, it could have lived without: the games she played as a child, what the Greek publisher and his wife (ahem) served for dinner in their apartment, Mongolia's mineral resources. I'm not saying they were excessive or padding, I'm saying that it seems significant that out of all the details she did include, one she didn't, apparently deliberately, is the gender of her (presumably) same-sex partner.
--- End quote ---
Sure, she obviously made a decision not to include the gender of her partner.
Meanwhile, what's the deal with Jackson Cox (see page 27 in the hardcopy magazine) and his "friend"? When she arrives at Cox's apartment, they're pouring champagne and listening to Beyonce? After dinner at a French restaurant, they take her to an "underground gay bar"?
First of all, it's interesting to learn that there are French restaurants and gay bars in Ulaanbaatar, but secondly, I'd like to know what she meant by "underground." Illegal, like a speakeasy? Or just in a basement somewhere?
--- Quote ---Given that one of the benefits of marriage equality is that it "normalizes" women having wives and men husbands in mainstream minds, it would have been nice to see a casual mention of her wife without further ado. I'm always happy to see same-sex couples portrayed in the media in ways that we're used to seeing straight couples portrayed, without fanfare.
--- End quote ---
I'm afraid marriage equality is never going to "'normalize' women having wives and men husbands" for this old buzzard. Those terms, wife and husband, are so heteronormative and gender-linked for me that I'll never be comfortable with their use by same-gender couples. They're also linked in my mind to sex roles--that is, roles in sex--that I don't like to think about. But that's me, so never mind. ...
--- Quote ---Another possibility is that this is actually a later marriage, the spouse/partner this time is a man, and if she used male pronouns she feared she'd confuse people like us who are familiar with her wedding essay. But nor did she want to have to stop and explain ("Oh, by the way, in case you read my other essay, this is someone else ...").
--- End quote ---
So you're speculating that she's actually bisexual, or she decided she wasn't a lesbian anymore (it's been known to happen)?
Edit to Add:
This just in: For what's worth, the Wikipedia article on Levy mentions only her marriage to Amy Norquist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ariel_Levy
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on November 24, 2013, 05:34:10 pm ---I'm afraid marriage equality is never going to "'normalize' women having wives and men husbands" for this old buzzard. Those terms, wife and husband, are so heteronormative and gender-linked for me that I'll never be comfortable with their use by same-gender couples.
--- End quote ---
It's probably a little difficult for all of us old buzzards. But when I see even a few straight Republicans swinging over to at least a mildly same-sex-marriage-friendly stance, I know the culture has undergone massive change in a very short time, and when that happens it's amazing what people can become comfortable with and nonchalant about. When I lived in New Orleans, every time I would see a black person and white person over a certain age talking amiably and as equals, I marveled at how much people can change.
--- Quote ---So you're speculating that she's actually bisexual, or she decided she wasn't a lesbian anymore (it's been known to happen)?
Edit to Add:
This just in: For what's worth, the Wikipedia article on Levy mentions only her marriage to Amy Norquist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ariel_Levy
--- End quote ---
I was speculating something of that nature. But I believe Wikipedia in this case. So now I'm back to square one for an explanation. She could have used a feminine pronoun at some point and not changed one other thing about the piece and it would have been just fine. But for some reason, she chose not to.
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on November 25, 2013, 01:24:57 am ---But when I see even a few straight Republicans swinging over to at least a mildly same-sex-marriage-friendly stance, I know the culture has undergone massive change in a very short time.
--- End quote ---
You can say that twice and mean it!
--- Quote ---I was speculating something of that nature. But I believe Wikipedia in this case. So now I'm back to square one for an explanation. She could have used a feminine pronoun at some point and not changed one other thing about the piece and it would have been just fine. But for some reason, she chose not to.
--- End quote ---
Yeah, who's to say? The best explanation I can come up with is still that for some reason she thought it would have been a distraction. Clearly it would not have been to her readers who already know she's lesbian, but maybe she thought it would be for others. ???
Meanwhile, I'm still curious about those guys in Ulaanbaatar. ;D
Front-Ranger:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on November 25, 2013, 01:24:57 am ---... when I see even a few straight Republicans swinging over to at least a mildly same-sex-marriage-friendly stance, I know the culture has undergone massive change in a very short time, and when that happens it's amazing what people can become comfortable with and nonchalant about.
--- End quote ---
Conservatives usually change their stance when they get to know a gay person personally or if there is someone in their family. Think Ronald Reagan, who was a friend of Rock Hudson and he and Nancy became near-advocates for equality. (Although he might not even be thought of as a Conservative today!) However, people like Dick Cheney are die-hards.
Jeff Wrangler:
The Nov. 18 article about the issues surrounding the legalization of marijuana in the state of Washington is very enlightening.
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