Author Topic: Stop the Hate (Read 23180 times)

David In Indy · « **Reply #1 on:** January 28, 2009, 03:41:07 am »

I'm totally in agreement with you Gary!

Thank you for posting it. I hope everyone, including me, myself and I will take your words to heart and remember them the next time we think about saying something cross to another member here.

Shasta542 · « **Reply #2 on:** February 01, 2009, 12:37:33 pm »

Nice thread, Gary.

I try, but I fail every now and then!

My granny was raised in the hills, so I have a little hillbilly in me!

Kerry · « **Reply #3 on:** February 02, 2009, 09:35:19 am »

Very thought-provoking thread, Gary. Thank you for starting it.

The Lord Buddha said, "Do as you would be done by." Pretty good advice IMHO.

Artiste · « **Reply #4 on:** February 02, 2009, 09:49:17 am »

Did you forget to mention: lack of OPENESS ?

And also the CONTRARY (to lack of openess) which is sometimes needed too ?

You want to know more about that, those 2 words I just listed?? Anyone?

Maybe these 2 are not as etiquette and are rather other subjects??

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #5 on:** February 02, 2009, 10:36:05 am »

Use your CAPS LOCK sparingly,
Lest others regard you GLARINGLY.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #6 on:** February 02, 2009, 10:40:38 am »

What you post on MYSPACE for enjoyment,
Can sometimes hinder your EMPLOYMENT.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #7 on:** February 02, 2009, 10:45:43 am »

That cutting QUIP, so sharp, concise,
Cause some to question if we're NOT NICE?

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #8 on:** February 02, 2009, 10:53:30 am »

UNKIND WORDS, when post in haste,
Can lead to SHAME, HURT, and DISGRACE.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #9 on:** February 02, 2009, 11:03:07 am »

To maximize prosaic presence,
Pare your thoughts down to their essence.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #10 on:** February 02, 2009, 11:12:13 am »

The THREADBLOCKER seeks by interjection,
to derail discussion by misdirection.

karen1129 · « **Reply #11 on:** February 02, 2009, 11:13:07 am »

Great thread.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #12 on:** February 02, 2009, 11:44:00 am »

When you come upon a nasty TROLL.
"REPORT," "IGNORE," "bypass and SCROLL".

Front-Ranger · « **Reply #13 on:** February 02, 2009, 11:59:07 am »

I'm enjoying this thread so much, I posted it on the newsbanner! Go for it, friends!

Berit · « **Reply #14 on:** February 02, 2009, 12:10:40 pm »

Quote from: TOoP/Bruce on February 02, 2009, 11:44:00 am

When you come upon a nasty TROLL.
"REPORT," "IGNORE," "bypass and SCROLL".

Oh Bruce, I love your post!!

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #15 on:** February 02, 2009, 12:11:00 pm »

The BLOVIATOR, filled with endless rage,
seeks to fill up page and page...

Berit · « **Reply #16 on:** February 02, 2009, 12:12:52 pm »

Quote from: garycottle on January 28, 2009, 03:35:33 am

I've noticed that tentions can run a bit high here at Bettermost, so I thought that maybe a discussion about good old-fashioned manners, and how they can be adapted to the internet, might help. I think good manners are based primarily on respect for others, and this respect leads to a concern for the feelings of others. So the question becomes how can we express ourselves here, let our voices be heard, while being mindful of the opinions and feelings of our fellow members?

By starting this thread I am in no way trying to claim to be an etiquette expert, and I am quite aware that I can be a rude little shit sometimes. (Hmm Maybe I should have said "rude little snot." Someone may want to address the topic of swearing. Where and when is it appropriate?) So I hope this thread doesn't degenerate into a laundry list of all the times I've stepped on some toes.

I'll start by listing a few thoughts and observations. Please feel free to jump in and add whatever you think might be of use. But remember, mind your P's & Q's.

--I think it might be helpful to keep in mind that this is the internet, and that means people can not see our expressions or the tone of our voices. So maybe it would best to use the smilies when that will work, or take a couple of extra minutes to use words that will suggest how serious we are.

Responding to someone in person by saying "that's stupid" might be okay since they can see the smile on our face and the twinkle in our eye. But those who read a comment like that on the internet might feel insulted.

--I think it's best when expressing your opinion to make it clear that you know your opinion is your opinion and not fact. And for those who find it difficult to distinguish between the two, just remember that almost every declarative statement you make is your opinion, or at least that's my opinion.

--If you don't get someone else's point of view, try to understand them before refuting them. Ask questions. Start a dialogue rather than an argument.

--Don't say "I'm sorry, but..." unless you're truly sorry.

--Remember that not everyone has to be on the same page. So state your case as clearly as you can. If others disagree, let them.

--If you've accidentally hurt someone's feelings, say your sorry. You don't have to add insult to injury by defending your right to have your own opinion because that's usually not the issue. People do disagree with one another passionately sometimes, but heated arguments are often caused not so much by the opinions we express but how we express them.

Oh Gary, love your thread!!

I just hope that people use it.......to talk about how to behave.....

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #17 on:** February 02, 2009, 12:15:44 pm »

QUESTIONS, instead of ACCUSATIONS,
can ASSIST in awkward situations.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #18 on:** February 02, 2009, 12:17:26 pm »

"I'm sorry," is what needs be said,
when I've been angry and lost my head.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #19 on:** February 02, 2009, 12:25:07 pm »

When posting, remember to USE TACT,
and distinguish OPINION from "CERTAIN FACT."

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #20 on:** February 02, 2009, 12:29:43 pm »

A tired TOPIC should be put to BED,
Instead of BEATING it 'til DEAD.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #21 on:** February 02, 2009, 12:40:15 pm »

The BIGOT spews a kind of HATE
Which we REFUSE to TOLERATE.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #22 on:** February 02, 2009, 12:50:25 pm »

A MODERATOR's harsh reality
is to practice IMPARTIALITY.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #23 on:** February 02, 2009, 02:21:34 pm »

The RIGHT FIGHTER is a sorry sight,
and will always FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #24 on:** February 02, 2009, 02:25:37 pm »

The DOUBT SPOUTER who ignores chit-chat
asks "Where's your DATA to support that?"

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #25 on:** February 02, 2009, 02:33:21 pm »

A BIPOLAR person, so they say,
Sees ALL as white or black, not GREY.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #26 on:** February 02, 2009, 02:35:42 pm »

The VICTIM has ultra-needy behavior
and is always looking for a savior.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #27 on:** February 02, 2009, 02:45:04 pm »

The STALKER seeks to cause ALARM,
and may perhaps intend to HARM.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #28 on:** February 02, 2009, 03:13:15 pm »

The PROVOCATEUR's posts are most EGREGIOUS,
but likely most are just FACETIOUS.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #29 on:** February 02, 2009, 03:46:43 pm »

The ZEALOT urges others to CONVERSION,
and deems ALTERNATE LIFESTYLES mere PERVERSION.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #30 on:** February 02, 2009, 03:53:50 pm »

Know your opponent's POINT of VIEW
Before you RANT, REFUTE, and SPEW.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #31 on:** February 02, 2009, 04:10:22 pm »

The POSEUR feigns to be what he is not
in hope that others find him "hot."

Meryl · « **Reply #32 on:** February 02, 2009, 07:28:17 pm »

Quote from: TOoP/Bruce on February 02, 2009, 12:29:43 pm

A tired TOPIC should be put to BED,
Instead of BEATING it 'til DEAD.

As a mod, I can get on board with this one.

Lovely prose and poetry, Gary and Bruce!

IN MY OPINION is a useful phrase
To keep at hand, lest tempers blaze.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #33 on:** February 02, 2009, 11:44:27 pm »

Quote from: garycottle on February 02, 2009, 09:12:18 pm

Bruce, I really appreciate you sharing some wisdom with us in such an entertaining way.

Thanks Gary! Nice job starting this thread!

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #34 on:** February 03, 2009, 08:07:45 am »

The CYNIC, ever bored and jaded,
Deems all things GOOD "just OVER-RATED."

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #35 on:** February 03, 2009, 08:11:13 am »

The SCHADENFREUDE-ist, it is plain,
Finds rich AMUSEMENT in your PAIN.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #36 on:** February 03, 2009, 08:22:03 am »

The BUMPER like to give a NUDGE
to SLEEPY THREADS that haven't BUDGED.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #37 on:** February 03, 2009, 08:27:29 am »

The CITATIONIST quotes chapter, verse, and next,
Takes GOD'S HOLY WORD out of all CONTEXT.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #38 on:** February 03, 2009, 08:38:13 am »

The (S)HIT-and-RUNNER posts NASTY threads,
then DISAPPEARS as if he's dead.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #39 on:** February 03, 2009, 08:43:48 am »

To HURL DIRT is never a well-thought plan -
For DIRT will STICK to the HURLER's HAND.

Clyde-B · « **Reply #40 on:** February 03, 2009, 09:17:44 am »

TOoP you are just amazing!

Both for quality and quantity!

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #41 on:** February 03, 2009, 09:39:30 am »

Quote from: Clyde-B on February 03, 2009, 09:17:44 am

TOoP you are just amazing!

Both for quality and quantity!

I've had fun with these! I'm happy to hear you enjoyed them!

Lynne · « **Reply #42 on:** February 03, 2009, 10:03:22 am »

Quote from: TOoP/Bruce on February 03, 2009, 09:39:30 am

I've had fun with these! I'm happy to hear you enjoyed them!

Most creative and fun, Bruce! Thanks muchly.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #43 on:** February 03, 2009, 12:10:29 pm »

The SOLICITOR emails bizarre SALUTATIONS,
Invitations to join in his strange ABERRATIONS.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #44 on:** February 03, 2009, 12:19:50 pm »

The CHICKENSH!T-TROLL never leaves any name,
ANONYMOUSLY posting things meant to INFLAME.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #45 on:** February 03, 2009, 12:35:09 pm »

The STRAW MAN analogy is easily REFUTED,
A FALLACY by which someone's virtue's IMPUTED.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #46 on:** February 03, 2009, 12:40:35 pm »

A SOCK PUPPET is a surrogate IDENTITY,
Used to DISRUPT circumvent SCRUTINY.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #47 on:** February 03, 2009, 12:46:38 pm »

The VULGARITY TROLL, both obnoxious and rude,
Is given to language both common and crude.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #48 on:** February 03, 2009, 01:06:19 pm »

When the heat gets too much, with mirrors and smoke,
A Troll complains people just don't get the "joke.".

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #49 on:** February 04, 2009, 02:03:46 am »

Quote from: garycottle on February 04, 2009, 01:40:49 am

Care to tell us what you've been invited to join in on?

Some things are best left in the imaginarium.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #50 on:** February 04, 2009, 08:26:06 am »

The FAN-FIC-tionist labors to EXPAND
the PLOT beyond its AUTHOR's plans.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #51 on:** February 04, 2009, 08:44:45 am »

The 'BLOGGER keeps an ONLINE DIARY
For COMMENTARY and self-inquiry.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #52 on:** February 04, 2009, 09:53:38 am »

The NIGERIAN LETTER requesting money
Is a SCAM, and isn't FUNNY.

TOoP/Bruce · « **Reply #53 on:** February 05, 2009, 10:26:54 am »

The BUNBURYIST's friend is always ailing
Or, so he tells his worried wife.
He falsely takes his leave, entailing
a drear debauched queer double life.

Artiste · « **Reply #54 on:** February 07, 2009, 12:10:36 pm »

I can never understand WHAT is a TROLL.

Can someone, hopefully, many of you, give examples!

Front-Ranger · « **Reply #55 on:** February 07, 2009, 01:05:28 pm »

I will attempt to try, friend, but I don't really understand what a troll is either. However, I guess I would define it as a person who maliciously posts on a forum in order to subvert its purpose and cause disturbance. Since BetterMost's purpose is to use the insight that we gained from the book and movie Brokeback Mountain to improve ourselves and our world, a troll would attempt to criticize, judge, or tear down those works of art and our virtual community.

A person who would initially post sympatico messages and then all of a sudden turn against fellow Brokies might also be called a troll. I don't really espouse using the word troll, because a person who goes to all the trouble to do these things obviously cares about the subject and should be shown compassion as much as possible. I've seen instances where trolls have become a site's most ardent supporters and believers.

jstephens9 · « **Reply #56 on:** February 07, 2009, 07:50:06 pm »

Quote from: garycottle on January 28, 2009, 05:13:53 am

I think we all could learn a few lessions from you, David. You're one of the most polite people at Bettermost.

Good thread Gary. Thanks for starting it. I definitely agree with you that David is one of the most polite people at Bettermost!!!

jstephens9 · « **Reply #57 on:** February 07, 2009, 07:55:14 pm »

Quote from: garycottle on January 31, 2009, 01:14:27 am

Don't post in anger. If something makes you mad, give yourself some time to cool off before responding. Not only will this help tamp down the level of hostility, but chances are you can make your case a lot better when you're calm.

Good one Gary! One of the biggest dangers of online communication is hitting that send button without thinking about what you are about to send. Like you say think about it. Go ahead and write what you feel, but wait awhile to send it. Go back later and read it, you may not feel the same way and you may be happy you didn't send it to anyone.

jstephens9 · « **Reply #58 on:** February 07, 2009, 07:59:49 pm »

Quote from: Shasta542 on February 01, 2009, 12:37:33 pm

Nice thread, Gary.

I try, but I fail every now and then!

My granny was raised in the hills, so I have a little hillbilly in me!

So do I and I have Shelton blood in me. In this neck of the woods having Shelton blood in you from Madison County can be a dangerous thing. It used to be known as Bloody Madison cause people would shoot first and not ask questions later or at all

but it is calmer now.

jstephens9 · « **Reply #59 on:** February 07, 2009, 09:06:38 pm »

Quote from: garycottle on February 07, 2009, 08:50:52 pm

Oh, I have hillbilly blood in me, too. West Virginia was/is the home of the Hatfield family. And Devil Ans Hatfield -- the patriarch of the clan that waged a vigilante war on the McCoys -- is venerated as a local cultural icon. There's a statue of him in Logan county.

But as you say, Jack, things are calmer now.

Thanks for reading the thread and commenting.

The Hatfields and the McCoys. I have heard of them. I think the area I am talking about is probably very similiar to West Viriginia. The Sheltons had feuds too and made moonshine

Well maybe we should think about things like that........about how dumb feuds were and how little they accomplished. That fits in quite nicely with this thread. Guess we can keep the moonshine if you want to

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Author Topic: Stop the Hate (Read 23180 times)

garycottle

karen1129