This is how weird life gets when you're old-ish. When I was in about third grade, I had a crush on Chekov. I knew his name was Walter Koenig, but I just thought of him as "Chekov." I wrote about my crush in my own secret code in my diary and my friend Julie found it and, because she knew the code, read it out loud, which was momentarily mortifying. I remember watching Star Trek on a family vacation in the summer and dreaming of Chekov.
So! OK. Fine. We all have those.
But what if I'd somehow been told, back then, at age 8, that 40-plus years later I'd be looking at online pictures of him, an old man reacting to an unspeakable tragedy ...
I guess this has always happened, though in past millennia it would have been some other guy in the tribe or village, as opposed to a TV celebrity. We all get old. Me, Chekov, everybody.