The World Beyond BetterMost > Women Today
Woman decides full-time mothering isn't for her
Marge_Innavera:
--- Quote from: Buffymon on March 06, 2011, 04:49:21 am ---Nice one, Brad ::)
--- End quote ---
Yeah, the quote you posted just warmed the cockles of my ole pink heart. ;)
Front-Ranger:
Mothering as a subject is such a minefield!!
Kelda:
Personally my opinion is if you have decided to be a parent, and then decide later actually I don't want to do this, well I don't think its acceptable for either a man or woman to do this.
You made a decision, you should stand by that decision.
Of course, where there is a divorce and the parents can't live together thats a different scenario because this is the best thing for the kids to have 2 happy parents to look after them, and evidently it normally ends up that one parent takes up more of the caring role than the other.
Do I think it should always be the woman? No, I think individual circumstances are much more important to consider.
Penthesilea:
--- Quote from: Kelda on March 06, 2011, 01:04:05 pm ---Personally my opinion is if you have decided to be a parent, and then decide later actually I don't want to do this, well I don't think its acceptable for either a man or woman to do this.
You made a decision, you should stand by that decision.
Of course, where there is a divorce and the parents can't live together thats a different scenario because this is the best thing for the kids to have 2 happy parents to look after them, and evidently it normally ends up that one parent takes up more of the caring role than the other.
Do I think it should always be the woman? No, I think individual circumstances are much more important to consider.
--- End quote ---
Completely agreed.
Individual circumstances are much more important than gender roles. But somehow this is very hard to understand for many people.
Strangely, I have never seen such outrage from the moral high horse about successful business-men, travelling continents 48 weeks a year. They may well see much less of their children than the woman in the article, they may well be much less involved in their childrens' daily life - but hey, they do have a penis, so it's ok. Double standard, as Della already said in the OP.
delalluvia:
--- Quote from: Kelda on March 06, 2011, 01:04:05 pm ---Personally my opinion is if you have decided to be a parent, and then decide later actually I don't want to do this, well I don't think its acceptable for either a man or woman to do this.
You made a decision, you should stand by that decision.
Of course, where there is a divorce and the parents can't live together thats a different scenario because this is the best thing for the kids to have 2 happy parents to look after them, and evidently it normally ends up that one parent takes up more of the caring role than the other.
Do I think it should always be the woman? No, I think individual circumstances are much more important to consider.
--- End quote ---
People make decisions that are bad all the time. We usually give them some options.
Notice she didn't make the decision until AFTER she had them. I'm sure beforehand she'd swallowed whole the myth that having children would make her feel like a 'real woman' whole and fulfilled. It didn't.
Now what are her options?
According to many of the posters on that article and here as well, she's just stuck. She has NO choices and so she needs to put on a fake happy face and just go through the motions for another decade or so.
Really? Do you think she'll be able to keep up that facade of a happy, good mother?
Do you think her kids and family won't notice?
Unlikely. Sooner or later she will take it out on her husband, her children and those around her.
Now MEN seem to have options. If they have kids and then decide they're not really into them, they can disappear to work, to the golf course, into themselves and be emotionally absent and distant and then of course, to divorce because family life wasn't for them. So long as they pick up the check, the criticism for them seems to be extremely light and absent.
But mothers will be vilified if they don't fit into the mold of how society thinks mothers should be, despite the fact that women are PEOPLE first and not all the same.
I thought women's rights were all about getting society to realize women were people. Apparently some still think women should be forced into gender roles and not have any choices.
Not me and not this woman and not quite a few working moms I've talked to over the years who had to whisper to me their dislike of mothering and their enjoyment of work. They had to whisper. I think that's what's "sick".
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