The World Beyond BetterMost > Women Today
Woman decides full-time mothering isn't for her
Monika:
--- Quote from: milomorris on March 09, 2011, 11:17:08 am ---So what's next? Do we compensate children for playing nicely together because they grow up to be caring citizens? Since when "should" we pay people to do the right thing?
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The issue has been and still is that mostly women do this work which enables the man to work full time or more. The work they do work is necessary for every family to cope, but it is only the work that men do that is paid. That gives the woman an economical disadvantage.
milomorris:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 09, 2011, 01:24:13 am ---For better or worse, there have been economists including John Maynard Keynes, who in the past have argued that wives and mothers should be compensated financially for the work they do. It's a lot of labor that goes unrecognized in economic terms... and that by and large benefits men... since in not paying their wives, they (the husbands) don't have to pay others to do the work that they require to carry out their own lifestyles.
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Yeah. This has been floating around for a while. But as I said, things that men do around the house fall into the same category. Men do things that women would otherwise have to pay someone else to do.
CellarDweller:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 08, 2011, 10:11:44 pm ---My Mom is not subtle about putting pressure on me about my choice not to have kids (at least so far) and I'm 35 and a lesbian... so the odds are very slim really.
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--- Quote from: Kelda on March 09, 2011, 05:34:18 am ---My Mum is itching to have new grandkids. Both my Mum and my sister are ALWAYS making comments about when I'll have kids.. and then my nieces have heard it so often that they ask when they'll have cousins too.
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And you don't have to be female to get that pressure!
:laugh:
I have two younger brothers (no sisters) so Mom & Dad expected at least a few grandkids.
Chris (the youngest - 37) is single and liking it that way, no intent to marry any time soon.
Mike (the middle - 40) married a woman who has a daughter from a prior marriage (she's 20), and doens't anticipate any more.
They then started talking about "Chuckie will meet a partner and adopt" and to be honest, adopting a child was something I thought my future would hold.
However, after Brokeback, I look back on all the traveling I've done, and realize I really enjoy being able to pack a bag at a moment's notice and leave for somewhere, no worries of taking care of the needs of kids.
I've already broken this to my parents, and they told me they could see this was happening after I started my trips.
As for the general topic, I always wondered about divorces and that in most cases the women get custody of the kids. I've often wondered if there were situations where the mother simply wanted to move on with her life, and couldn't because she had the children at that point, while her ex-husband went on to being "single", while she became a "single mother".
milomorris:
--- Quote from: CellarDweller on March 09, 2011, 12:03:07 pm ---And you don't have to be female to get that pressure!
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You can say that again and mean it!!
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: milomorris on March 09, 2011, 11:17:08 am ---So what's next? Do we compensate children for playing nicely together because they grow up to be caring citizens?
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That's not "next," it's been happening for generations. We pay taxes, whether we have kids or not, to support schools and community programs that teach children to "play nicely together," among other things, and help them grow up to be knowledgeable, caring citizens.
--- Quote ---- Employers are compensating stay-home parents. The worker gets paid enough to provide for his/her family, otherwise both parents would need to work.
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Workers with a stay-at-home partner caring for their kids, at least officially, are not supposed to get paid more than workers who don't have kids, or don't have a stay-at-home partner.
In reality, men with children actually DO, statistically, get paid more, controlling for other factors, than men without children -- perhaps because of unconscious assumptions that these men need the money because "they have families to support." Women with children, meanwhile, get paid less, statistically, than men or women without children -- perhaps because of unconscious assumptions that they'll prioritize the children over work. Either way, though, I don't think most people would consider this a fair arrangement.
--- Quote ---Beyond that, employers who offer retirement plans create the possibility--in the event of the death of the employee--for the stay-home partner to obtain funds that were generated by both the company and the employee.
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Some retirement plans end with the employee's death. For this and other reasons, older women in poverty far out number older men.
--- Quote ---- As far as volunteering goes, non-profits (correctly) tell us about the benefits volunteering brings to the volunteer. Volunteering offers (among other things) the opportunity to help one's community, positive human interaction, and networking possibilities.
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Paid work offers psychological and networking benefits, too. And yet we pay people to do it.
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