thank you all for commenting.
Lynne, i hope that book arrives soon, I'm slowly dying. And i have to agree, though i DID read the article, i believe that homosexuality 'develops' in the womb, and esp. in the childhood of someone. I have shown many symptoms of being gay all throughout my life (playing with barbies, close relationship with mother, envisionist.) Don't deny it, all gay men are like that
Lucise, yeah, i meant Bill's mom's girl friend is a transvestite, and beats on everyone. He doesn't know if he can even go to the movies this weekend. I won't go if he can't.
Always something keeping us apart!
And it has been a packed year. Several mood swings, and i don't know if the last two days are for the better or worse, you guys decide, because there's something definitely changing in mine and Bill's relationship.
1/10-11
Well, we get our schedules for the next semester, and i find out Bill has lunch with me!!!!! I thought he didn't, but he does, so its awesome.
I got a email from my cousin (who's a lesbian) which is cool. She knows what I'm going through, and I'm just happy for once that I'm not being misunderstood (I often am).
This is random, but I notice i go crazy if i feel left out from anything.
A friend of mine says she might switch lunches next semester, which kind of stinks. She is my best friend.
Well, today Bill told me he is going to the career center next school year....and he kind of tried to get me to go, and I MIGHT!
He's studying computers, which oddly, i've loved to do (since i'm always on one
) we both want to create video games---yeah, we're both losers--but two losers....
When talking about the career center, he told a girl (indirectly) that he would miss me the most out of everyone
that was a nice thought.
He's still looking forward to the movies this weekend. I'm dying to go. He says he still needs to talk to his mom about it, and i agreed. I literally said 'if she cares, she'd listen to you'. He has problems with his mom's girl friend, as i stated before. Bill still thinks that i think his mom has a boy friend, and isn't gay. I'm not going to confront him about it, because i don't want to put him in the spotlight.
I was wondering what you all thought about me going to the career center. I hadn't quite planned it, but i was kinda interested, and i've always dreamed to do awesome graphic designs on the computer. But he is the main reason i'd go. Also a Girl i like is going, and i could use that as a reason. I don't want him to forget me....i don't think he wants to, but he will. He confides in me a lot, mainly because our loneliness reads the same. He lives in the middle of nowhere, and i am nowhere.
Sorry for ranting!
My first job (in the summer) is going to be with sheep. Quite ironic, but i'm going to help shed them. Then next year it will be Alpacas
for $ 100 a day. Awesome
talk to you all later
love, Phoenix