Sitting here now waiting for comcast to restore my connection to the world, I ponder aloud the place of this forum in my life, and the bigger picture. I hear increasingly the complaints of people about situations, about one another. I have seem people bring turmoil to their lives over situations they have found here. I smile, because I am seeing a reflection of life, maybe even life itself. I have heard people talk of leaving, I have "seen" them get their asses all up on their shoulders, like their conflicts are so important they have to take action.
How did it happen?
Hiya big brother!
I have to say, BetterMost is not alone in this situation. We've had a few members on DCF also say the same thing.....talk about the changes and the way they feel the site or the community is different.
We all need to step back and realize what has happened.
When Brokeback kicked us all in the stomach, we were all completely stunned, and often found ourselves alone. Those closest to us in "real life" didn't "get it". We saw the movie for what it was, and turned to the forums to find kindred spirits.
When we all first started to meet through the boards, and then in person, we idealized each other. We were the ones who "got it". We were the perfect friends, calling each other "family". We let ourselves get caught up in the feelings of finding other people who understood what we are going through. After all, all that everyone wants is to be understood, and not feel alone.
Now, two years have passed since we got that kick from Brokeback, and now, we're starting to see the people we've idealized as who they really are, warts and all.
It can be hard to deal with sometimes.
Fact of the matter is, that all people have disagreements and arguements. It's the human experience.
That doesn't diminish all the good things that have happened since the formation of DCF or BM.
I am still in touch with a number of people who I first met almost 2 years ago, and am looking forward to the next get together.
It also doesn't diminish all the good things that WILL happen because of DCF or BM.
This was a growing and learning experience for all of us, and it will continue to be such. If we stop growing and learning, we become stagnant, and then we are good to no one, including ourselves.
"Not to fight" was not one of the lessons of Brokeback. Jack and Ennis fought, but their passion didn't diminish.
Being stuck, and not changing is what did in Jack & Ennis. It was one of the lessons of Brokeback, and we need to allow ourselves to change, and accept those around us as they change.
If you can't accept others for who they are, then you really shouldn't be friends with them in the first place.