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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Kerry:

--- Quote from: dot-matrix on September 12, 2007, 03:27:33 pm ---"No, sir" replies the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy."

--- End quote ---

 :laugh:       :laugh:       :laugh:

dot-matrix:
A large well- established Canadian lumber camp advertised that they
were looking for a good lumberjack.

The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his
axe and knocked on the head lumberjack's door. He took one look at
the little man and told him to leave.

"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.

"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take
your axe and cut it down."

The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back
knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," he said.

The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get
the skill to chop down trees like that?"

"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.

The little man laughed and answered back, "Oh sure, that's what
they call it now !!"

dot-matrix:
Bush's Tragedy  ;)

One day President Bush visited an elementary school. All the
kids were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to
talk to them and asked them to define the word 'tragedy'.

"Well," one girl replied, If my Mummy ran over my dog, Rover,
That would be a tragedy!"
The President smiled at the little girl and said, "No, sweetie.
That would be an accident. Can anyone give it a try?"

A little boy sitting across the room raised his hand and said,
"I know! I know! If our bus driver ran off a cliff and killed
everyone."
The President shook his head and said, "No, son. That would
be a great loss. Doesn't anyone know a good example of a
tragedy?"

A small girl raised her hand and said, "Well, Mr. President, if
you and Laura were in Air Force One and it was hit by a missile
and blown to smithereens, most people would think that was
a tragedy !"

"Very good," he said, "And what was your reason for that answer?"

"Well," she said, "It would not be an accident and it sure would
not be a great loss !!"

dot-matrix:
Two Scots, Archie and Jock are sitting in the pub discussing
Jock's forthcoming wedding.

"Ach, it's all going grand," says Jock. "I've got everything
organised already, the flowers, the church, the cars, the
reception, the rings, the minister, even my stag night."

Archie nod approvingly.

"Heavens, I 've even bought a kilt to be married in, " says Jock.
"A kilt ?" exclaims Archie. That's braw, you'll look pure smart
in that. And what's the tartan?" Archie enquires.

"Och," says Jock. "I'd imagine she'll be in white !!"  ::)

dot-matrix:
Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5. and 6.

If you are paranoid delusional . . . . . . .

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