The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basic items.
"How much do you weigh ?" She says, "62 kilos."
The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out her weight is 70 kg.
The nurse asks, "Your height ?" "5ft 8," she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 4"
She then takes her blood pressure
And tells the woman it is very high.
"Of course it's high !" she screams,
"When I came in here I was tall and slender !
Now I'm short and fat !!"
dot-matrix:
some fun questions - - -
If the sky is the limiit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are marbles made out of marble ?
When French people swear do they say Pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the
leftovers from the people who got there first ?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse ?
"Cute as a button." Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute ?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?
Can you get cornered in a round room ?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother-in-law, they come out to Woman Hitler ?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play ?
Kerry:
Meanwhile, in the chat room . . . . .
Katie77:
Do they ever forget?
I don't usually like these heartwarming stories, but this one is truly interesting...
In 1986, Mike Membre was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed, so Membre approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Membre worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.
Membre stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Membre never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Membre was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Membre and his son Cantri were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Membre, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Membre couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.
Membre summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure.
He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Membre's legs and raised him high into the air and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
Katie77:
Three aspiring psychiatrists, from three universities, were attending
their first class on emotional extremes.
'Just to establish some parameters,' said the professor to the
student from Oxford University, 'What is the opposite of joy?'
'Sadness' said the student.
'And the opposite of depression?' he asked the young lady from the
Cambridge. 'Elation,' she said..
'And you, sir,' he said to the student from Dublin University, 'How
about the opposite of woe?'
The student replied, 'I believe that would be giddy up'.
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