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Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
Things My Mother Taught Me.
My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done.
"If you are going to kill each other, do it outside, I've
just finished cleaning."
She taught me religion.
"You better pray that comes out of the carpet young lady."
My mother taught me about time travel.
"If you don't behave I'll knock you into next week."
She taught me about logic.
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me foresight.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
She taught me irony.
"Keep laughing and I'll giveyou something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of osmosis.
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."
She taught me about being a contortionist.
"Will youlook at all the dirt on the back of your neck."
My mother taught me about stamina.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
She taught me about the weather.
"It looks like a tornado went through here."
My mother taught me about hyperbole.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate."
She taught me about behaviour modification.
"Stop acting like your father."
Kerry:
I saw a fascinating program on television recently about the Log Cabin Republicans, a gay political organisation in America. It inspired me to look them up on the internet, where I found some extremely interesting information about Abraham Lincoln! :o ;) :D
Kerry:
Yee-Haw! All-new, original cartoons by yours truly have been posted at my Webshots page, in the Cartoons 2008 album. More pics have also been posted in the Paintings album.
To be the first kid on your block to see them, click here:
http://community.webshots.com/user/kez4oz
Here's a preview:
dot-matrix:
A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stonewall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time you let me poot me hand on your leg."
The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her leg. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad.
The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
Angus blurted out, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"
Dagi:
Great jokes, Dottie! Post more cartoons, Kerry, please! :D
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