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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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dot-matrix:
Three old ladies named Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher approached the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.


Gertrude immediately had a stroke.

Then Maude also had a stroke.

Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

dot-matrix:
Dear IRS:

Enclosed is my 2005 return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see that
the Pentagon pays $171.50 for hammers and NASA buys $600.00 toilet seats.

I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2400.) and six hammers (value
$1029.), bringing my total remitted to $3429.00. Please apply the
overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my
return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one 1.5" Phillips
Head Screw (article from USA To! day detailing how HUD pays $22.00 each for 1.5"
Phillips Head Screws is enclosed for your convenience.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
A Patriotic Taxpayer 

Kerry:

Dagi:

--- Quote from: dot-matrix on January 21, 2008, 02:22:38 am ---Three old ladies named Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher approached the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.


Gertrude immediately had a stroke.

Then Maude also had a stroke.

Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.



--- End quote ---


 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

dot-matrix:
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.

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