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Kerry's Komedy Klub
Katie77:
GIRLS NIGHT OUT........................
Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out; both were very
faithful and loving wives. However, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on
Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee,
so they stopped in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her
undies and use them.
Her friend however, was wearing a rather expensive pair of undies that
she did not want to ruin, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a
grave that had a wreath with a big ribbon on it, so she proceeded to use
the ribbon. After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.
The next day, one woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet
and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other
husband and said, 'These damn girls' night outs have got to stop. I'm
starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no undies!'
'You think that's bad' said the other husband, 'Mine is lying in bed with
a card stuck in her ass that says: 'From all of us at the Fire Station
We'll never forget you. '
Kerry:
--- Quote from: Katie77 on July 28, 2008, 02:04:15 am ---lol.....with a tool like that.....there is hope for the monarchy after all.......
--- End quote ---
Haha - Prince Harry certainly has Royal Stuart blood from him mother, Princess Diana. I'm not sure how much Windsor blood he has, though! :-\
Kerry:
Katie77:
A rich man living in Darwin (Aus) decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his
mansion.
Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating
prawns, oysters and BBQ and flirting. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc and kicking its ass, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff, like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail
and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell.
Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a
goldfish.
Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'
'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin.
The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'
'No thanks. I don't want it,' answered Colin.
The host said,
'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing.
How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?
Again, Colin said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you
want?
Colin said, 'I want the bastard who pushed me in the
pool.'
Kerry:
The Pope recently visited Sydney for World Youth Day.
There was a huge selection of souvenirs available from the official souvenir tent outside St Mary's Cathedral in Hyde Park, catering for the thousands of pilgrims who flocked to Sydney from all over the world. In competition to the formal merchandise, however, a group of feminists, gay activists and pro-choice advocates put out their own range of souvenirs. This is my favourite item from their catalogue.
;) :laugh:
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