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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Kerry:

Katie77:
On their way to get married a young Catholic couple is
involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found them-
selves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St Peter
to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to
wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven ?

When St Peter showed up, they asked him. St Peter says,
"I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked.
Let me go and find out," and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed;
the couple was still waiting As they waited, they discussed that
IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the
eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work ?" they
wondered. "Are we stuck together FOREVER ?"

After yet another month, St Peter finally returns, looking
somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you
CAN get married in Heaven."

"Great," said the couple, "But we were jusy wondering, what
if things don't work out ?" Could we also get a divorce in
Heaven ?"

St Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clip-board onto
the ground.

"What's wrong ?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH COME ON," St Peter shouts, "It took me 3 months
to find a priest up here ! Do you have ANY idea how long
it's going to take me to find a LAWYER ?"

Kerry:

Katie77:
ALWAYS THERE...........

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck

 

Katie77:
Will I Live to see 80?

 
Here's something to think about.

 
I recently picked a new primary care doctor.  After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 60.)   

 
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

 
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'

 
'Oh no,' I replied.  'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

 
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?

 
'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

 
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

 
'No, I don't,' I said.

 
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

 
'No,' I said.

 
He looked at me and said,...  'Then, why do you even give a shit?

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