The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
Katie77:
Katie77:
Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven Sir
Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven!
Teacher: Where the hell do you get seven from?
Johnny: Because I f***king have 1 at home.
Katie77:
Lawyer with a heart
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he
saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to
investigate.
He asked one man, 'Why are you eating grass?'
'We don't have any money for food,' the poor
man replied. 'We have to eat grass.'
'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and
I'll feed you,' the lawyer said.
'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They
are over there, under that tree.'
'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with
us, also.'
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, 'But
sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!'
'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for
a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer
and said, 'Sir, you are too kind.'
'Thank you for taking all of us with you.'
The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it.
'You'll really love my place.
'The grass is almost a foot high'
Katie77:
Will I Live to see 80 ?
Here's something to think about.
I recently picked a new primary care doctor.
After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 60.)
A little concerned about that comment,
I couldn't resist asking him,
'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked,
'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' I replied.. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'Not much...
my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun,
like playing golf,
sailing,
hiking,
or
bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked,
'Do you gamble,
drive fast cars,
or
have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.
He looked at me and said,...
'Then, why do you even give a shit ?
Kerry:
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