The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
Kerry:
Katie77:
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder. She hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady,why don't you eat the peanuts yourself? "We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?" The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."
Kerry:
--- Quote from: Katie77 on April 23, 2009, 05:38:36 pm ---A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder. She hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady,why don't you eat the peanuts yourself? "We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?" The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."
--- End quote ---
:laugh: Hilarious! I forwarded this one on, for sure. With retirement looming, I imagine it'll soon be me on that bus! :laugh:
Katie77:
Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening,when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago..
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'
Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.
Zander:
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon
be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi
Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It
will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a
stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft
drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of
'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good
old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name
of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being
spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on
Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there
should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and
huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do
with them.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version