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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Katie77:
A man went to the doctor's office to get a double dose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn't prescribe him a double dose. "Why not?" asked the man. "Because it's not safe," replied the doctor.
"But I need it really bad," said the man. "My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday.  Can't you see? I must have a double
dose." The doctor finally relented saying, "Okay, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there were any side effects." On Monday, the man dragged himself in, his right arm in a sling.  The doctor asked, "What happened to you?" The man said, "No one showed up...."

Katie77:

Kerry:

Katie77:
10 Finkers

Ole vas vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.
 
He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do."
 
Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."
 
"Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he said. "Lord-it's 2009 and Ive's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?"
 
Ole says........"How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?
 

Katie77:
Little Johnny's neighbours' had a baby.

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family
was invited over to see the baby.

Before leaving their house, little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and
explained that the baby had no ears. He also told him that if he so much as
mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word
"ears," he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When they got there,
and little Johnny looked in the crib, he said, "What a beautiful baby." The
mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful
little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really
beautiful eyes. Can he see?" asked little Johnny. "Yes," the mother replied,
"we are so thankful.  The doctor said he will have 20/20 vision." "Thatâ?Ts great," said little Johnny, "cuz he'd be sh__ outta luck if he needed glasses."
..

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