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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Kerry:

Kerry:

Zander:
   A well dressed lady stood waiting for the bus on a warm, clear
   afternoon in Chicago.
 
   When the bus stopped, and it was her turn to board, she became aware
   that her skirt was to tight for her to raise her leg enough to manage
   the height of step onto the bus.
 
   Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she
   reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,
   thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
   She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.
 
   So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to
   unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

   Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
 
   With another little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to
   unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
 
   About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her
   up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
 
   She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled,
   "How dare you touch my body!
   I don't even know who you are!"
 
   The Texan smiled and drawled,
   "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you
   unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

Kerry:

Katie77:
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The
doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now,
you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but.....
something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is,
your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'
    The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in
insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build
you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did -better in
fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.'
    The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you
to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better
discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and
you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out... But if
you had a nine inch one before,and you decide only to invest in a five
incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she
plays a role in helping you make the decision.'
    The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the
next day.'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'
    'I have,' says the man.
    'And has she helped you in making the decision?'
    'Yes, she has,' says the man. 
   
    'And what is it?' asks the doctor.
    'We're getting granite countertops.'

 

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