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Kerry's Komedy Klub
Kerry:
Kerry:
Yee-Haw!
Penthesilea:
--- Quote from: Kerry on August 25, 2009, 02:47:47 am ---Yee-Haw!
--- End quote ---
That's not how I pictured a rodeo queen, but you live and learn... ;)
Zander:
Miss Beatrice,
The church organist,
Was in her eighties
And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness
And kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor
Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,
The young minister
Noticed a cute glass bowl Sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled
With water, and in the water Floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned
With tea and scones,
They began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity
About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice', he said,
'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'
Pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?
I was walking through
The Park a few months ago
And I found this little package On the ground.
The directions said
To place it on the organ,
Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'
Katie77:
Louisiana
>> > Sheriff
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > A Louisiana
>> > Sheriff stops at a farm in rural Louisiana
>> > and talks
>> > with an old farmer.
>> >
>> > He tells the farmer, "I need to
>> > inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs."
>> >
>> > The old farmer
>> > says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."
>> >
>> > The Sheriff verbally explodes
>> > saying,
>> > "Mister, I have the authority of the
>> > Sheriffs Department with
>> > me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket and removing his badge. The
> officer
>> > proudly
>> > displays
>> > it to the farmer.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > "See this
>> > badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I
>> > wish...on
>> > anyone's land. No questions asked or answers
>> > given.
>> > Have I made myself clear?
>> > Do you
>> > understand?"
>> >
>> > The old farmer nods
>> > politely and
>> > goes about
>> > his chores.
>> >
>> >
>> > Later, the old farmer hears loud screams
>> > and spies
>> > the Sheriff running for his
>> > life and close behind is the farmer's bull.
>> >
>> > With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The Sheriff
>> > is
>> > clearly terrified..
>> >
>> > The old farmer
>> > immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the
> top of
>> > his lungs.....
>> >
>> > "Your badge!
>> > Show him
>> > your badge, Smartass!"
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