The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
Mandy21:
A student called his mom from college and asked her for some money. His mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"
"Uh, oh yeah, okay," he said.
So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and sent them at the post office. When she got back, her husband asked, "How much did you give him this time?"
"I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000."
"Are you crazy?" he asked.
"Don't worry," she said. "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"
Mandy21:
A wilderness area received these actual comment cards from hikers:
- Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
- Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
- Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
- I brought lots of sandwich makings, but forgot bread. If you have extra bread, leave it in the yellow tent at V Lake.
- A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed?
Mandy21:
Tom walks into a post office one day to see a man standing at the counter placing "Love" stamps on envelopes with hearts all over them.
Tom walks up to the man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" Tom asks.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Mandy21:
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying, "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back. The student got back his test and $64 change.
Mandy21:
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six'?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
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