The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
OK friends here's my last one for tonight:
Another Rotten Day
How you can tell when it's going to be a rotten day?
1. You wake up face down on the pavement.
3. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
4. You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.
5. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
6. You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
7. Your twin brother forgot your birthday.
8. You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
9. Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
10. Your blind date turns out to be your ex.
11. Your income check bounces.
12. Your pet rock snaps at you.
13. Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.
14. Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
Kerry:
Here's more from Fred & Ginger. I hope you're finding them amusing. I'm not sure if the slang used in Australia translates over to the USA. For example, in a previous post, Fred is seen in bed with a couple of "tarts." The word "tart" in this country, as well as meaning a small sweet cake, also translates colloquially and derogatorily as "a woman of compromised virtue." Not sure if it has that same meaning in America.
Likewise, in this one, "crumpet" is a euphemism for "sex" here in Oz. Is it the same in America? If not, let me give you an example of how the word "crumpet" is used in that sense. Instead of saying, "I'm looking forward to a f*ck tonight," you would more politely say "I'm looking forward to some crumpet tonight."
We're a weird mob! :D
Kerry:
Kerry:
Being "legless" means you're drunk. :P
TXdoug:
LOTS of FUN, Kerry. :laugh: Thanks for giving insight to meaning of terms unique to OZ.... I guess :laugh:
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