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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Kerry:

Use of the "F" word is never justified in polite society.  It's uncouth and vulgar, to say the least. However, having said that, in certain extreme situations, maybe it is appropriate . . . . .



Physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) ... "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." 



Pythagoras ... "How the @#$% did you work that out?"



The Sistine Chapel's frescoes (1505-12) by Michelangelo ... "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"



Pioneer aviator Amelia Earhart, first woman to fly across the Atlantic alone ... "Where the @#$% are we?"



Actors Mary Steenburgen and Jon Voight in 1999 TV film "Noah's Ark" ... "Scattered @#$ing showers, I disagree!"



General George Armstrong Custer ... "Where the @#$% did all those Indians come from?"



The mushroom cloud over Hiroshima after atom bomb dropped by the US from "Enola Gay" during World War Two ... "What the @#$% was that?"



A photograph of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office at the White House ... "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"



Former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein ... "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @%#*^ing mad."



Pablo Picasso ... "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"



Captain Edward J Smith from liner Titanic ... "What the @#$% do you mean we're sinking?"

Fran:

--- Quote from: Kerry on August 08, 2007, 01:49:20 am ---Use of the "F" word is never justified in polite society.  It's uncouth and vulgar, to say the least. However, having said that, in certain extreme situations, maybe it is appropriate . . . . .


--- End quote ---

 ;D

dot-matrix:
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5 year old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...

A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot.

One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those arseholes at Home Depot ever deliver the ****ing sheetrock..."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it ::)

Kerry:

--- Quote from: dot-matrix on August 08, 2007, 05:22:38 am ---Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5 year old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...

--- End quote ---

 :laugh:           :laugh:           :laugh:

dot-matrix:

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