Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
Sacrilege
Kelda:
bump to find later so I can read properly and reply properly.
Penthesilea:
--- Quote from: injest on April 04, 2007, 09:10:12 pm ---If the boys had looked at reality when they came down from the mountain....and really accepted that they weren't going to be able to be together....what would their life had been like?
If Jack had not went looking for Ennis but instead had focused on living what life he could...either with Lureen or 'the foreman's wife'.....
If Ennis had stuck with one of those jobs instead of quitting to go meet Jack twice a year...would he have been better off financially? Had more responsibility?
--- End quote ---
I don't think they would have been happier. They couldn't change who they were. I think this goes deeper than the dream to be a high-class concert pianist. It is about being the person you truly are, about not pretending, about being accepted.
What I can rely to in Ennis' and Jack's story, is the aspect of pretending to be another person than you are and of living the wrong life. When I grew up, I lived in two different families. In one, I had to pretend all the time. I had to be the reasonable, quiet, unobstrusive child who brings good grades home from school and is more or less non existent for the rest. No friends allowed to bring home, no loud playing, singing, don't talk too much. Everything a normal child does was unbearable for my parents. I was more or less non-existent in that family. I had to pretent to be non-existent, I couldn't be the person I am.
In my sencond family, I was just a normal child. And I was just myself. I am not a quiet and unobsrusive person, I am high-spirited, sometimes loud, very talkative, have a bad temper from time to time, love to be around other people, bring friends home, and so on.
All this I could be when living with my second family. And I was not alone there. I had three sisters, we were a loud and jolly bunch and sometimes the sparks flew. I was accepted there the way I was. I was at home there.
I can't tell you how happy I was every time I was allowed to go to my second family (the deal was, I had to stay with my bodily parents for school days, and was allowed to go home on many weekends and during the school holidays).
And how devasted I always was when I had to go back to my bodily parents. How alone, empty and hollow felt all the time I wasn't at home (and that was the greater part of the year).
But: would I have been better off, if I hadn't have my second family at all? If I had never known them? Or if I just had given up and submitted to the life my parents wanted me to live? . No fucking way!
You have no idea how thankful I was (and still am) for my second family. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for them.
The situation caused me much hurt. But it was better than not having my second family at all. It was better to be myself only for some time and to pretend for the rest of the time than to never be able to be myself at all.
This is not about dreams and plans you have for your life. It is about being who you are and being accepted for yourself.
Daniel:
That is true also. Sometimes this is the first hurdle that I've had to help my clients overcome. The perception of the self and how the self is restrained or contained by surrounding elements is often the very thing which is preventing forward movement. The inability to be true to the self is the greatest difficulty which we face as a species, and thus when it is conquered, it is our most freeing and empowering moment. When you can become comfortable with your own inner self, befriend the demons and angels within, and be aware that everything that has happened to you (the good and the bad) is what has made you as you are now, then you can really start to see things beyond the perceived limitations that existed before.
injest:
Man, it is frustrating to want to speak your mind and not having the words to make yourself understand.
I have been thinking about this today...and one of the problems is I am using one word two different ways.
SO....
this is how I define a dream...it is something you would like do or achieve. ex: go on a cruise thru the Greek Islands...that is concievable...you MAY be able to do that.
now there are other dreams that are not...they are FANTASIES: dreaming of flying to Mars...aint happening!!
so...Jack was gay, he DREAMED of being with Ennis...his FANTASY was that Ennis would change and they would be able to have their lil cow and calf operation.
now if he had given UP the fantasy...and worked on the dream...he could have been happier (IMO) He could have moved to Wyoming; took a job near Ennis and seen him much more. But instead he focused on the fantasy....robbing himself of the joy that was POSSIBLE...
that is all I am trying to say...and not very well!! LOL!!
to me the movie is a morality play about living your dreams without being blinded by fantasies...
Daniel:
Actually, if we go by the movie, I don't think Jack's cow-and-calf operation would have been a fantasy. He said it quite thoughtfully, as though he had been thinking about it for a while, and a precursory glance at his clothing and jewelry in the later scenes of the film reveal that he was quite financially secure, to say the least. Furthermore, Jack had the know-how and probably made a little bit more than his father did even in the earlier scenes of the film. At least, that's how it seems to me. Perhaps someone with more ranching experience might be able to explain it better.
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