Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
Sacrilege
injest:
but if you pin your dreams to someone ELSE changing to meet your dream...that sends it into fantasy for me....
he was depending on Ennis to change and be willing to do it....Ennis was NOT.
and Jack's money came from Lureen. I would be suprised to see him get much if they divorced...
Daniel:
It is true that a shared dream does in fact need to be shared in order to be successful, but whether or not the unsatisfactory life of that relationship would have been better if Jack had given up on his hope that Ennis might one day "see the light" remains to be seen. But I think that what you might be suggesting is that Jack may have crossed that thin line between hope and expectation. And expectation, particularly when it is unmet in relationships, can be a spiritually devastating thought-form. Unmet expectation leads to that almost-eternal feeling of incompletion and the long, tedious wait. But more sadly, expectation in the face of impossibility (or at best, severe difficulty) creates the feeling of blame. "If it's not the way I want it, someone must be at fault." Rarely do we look at ourselves for the source of this problem.
I just realized that this sentence, or perhaps the past few sentences, seem harsh in retrospect. Though if I spoke them to myself in some of my more difficult times, I would not have been too insulted.
injest:
--- Quote from: Daniel on April 06, 2007, 12:36:39 am ---It is true that a shared dream does in fact need to be shared in order to be successful, but whether or not the unsatisfactory life of that relationship would have been better if Jack had given up on his hope that Ennis might one day "see the light" remains to be seen. But I think that what you might be suggesting is that Jack may have crossed that thin line between hope and expectation. And expectation, particularly when it is unmet in relationships, can be a spiritually devastating thought-form. Unmet expectation leads to that almost-eternal feeling of incompletion and the long, tedious wait. But more sadly, expectation in the face of impossibility (or at best, severe difficulty) creates the feeling of blame. "If it's not the way I want it, someone must be at fault." Rarely do we look at ourselves for the source of this problem.
--- End quote ---
very true....
Ellemeno:
--- Quote from: David on April 04, 2007, 11:47:40 pm ---I was just reading Phillips post, and my story is the reverse of his. Well, maybe not.
My parents insisted on exposing me to music. I started taking piano lessons at the age of 5 and violin lessons a few years later. I fell in love with the violin, so much in fact that I spent the next couple of years nagging my parents to let me take cello lessons too. They finally agreed, and my entire world was immersed in music. My life revolved around it. I loved the violin and cello so much I joined the Carmel Junior Symphony Orchestra by the age of 12 (in addition to the school orchestra). Later, in high school I joined the Carmel Symphony Orchestra. I loved playing in the orchestra and I was certain I wanted to make music my profession. After I graduated from high school, the conductor of the CSO, Victor Zydonis insisted I audition for ISO (Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra). I really thought my "dream" had come true. Now I had the opportunity to play with a major US orchestra and travel. But once I found out the salary I would have been paid, I gave up on the idea. It didn't pay enough; at least not enough at the entry level.
So, I decided to go to college. I decided to study Funeral Service. Why? I don't know. The pay was good, and I liked the idea of working in a profession where I could help people. So, I attended college and earned a three year degree (Indiana only requires a 2 year associate of science degree). After college, I spent the next several years working for a major funeral home in Indianapolis. But after a few years, I found it was draining me emotionally. I was working 70 hours a week, and I was surrounded by grief all the time.
So, I went back to college. This time I earned a degree in accounting. Then, another degree in photography.
Each and every time, I thought I was working towards my dream, and at the time, I think I probably was. But my dreams changed. And, sometimes I found out my "dream" really wasn't my dream at all. I guess all we can really hope for is a content life, surrounded by people who love us.
I'm currently working as an accountant. I make a pretty good living. I'm not rich, but I'm not poor either. I have a nice house, a good job, lots of friends, a dog and a cat, and a wonderful boyfriend (who just happens to live in a different country in a far away continent, but I digress).
So, am I living my dream? I don't know. But if simply being happy and content is my dream, then I guess I am! :D
I still play my music, and it brings me a lot of joy and comfort. But, I still saving up for that baby grand piano! Maybe someday! :)
--- End quote ---
Wow, I didn't know most of that about you, David. Thanks for telling it. :-*
Ellemeno:
I feel so lucky and privileged to read what everyone has written here. It's an honor.
I guess for me, I am the least degreed member of my family. The answer to "what do you do?" has rarely been simple or comfortable. I think most of my family has the quiet, sad opinion that I have wasted my intellect. And sometimes I get on my own case that way. But I have had my own drummer to march to, and can't seem to help it. In the last four years, now that I am a stay at home mother, that is recognizable and acceptable to people, and now my family notices I do a good job at that. I did a good job at the other stuff too, for the most part, but it was never things they valued.
So I AM living my dream (even though I worry about the cracks in my living room ceiling, and various other things), and come to find, have been living my dreams most of my life (once I got out of my parents' house). But I have been often unhappy and confused during the process. I've envied people who were willing to just stick with something.
I know this sounds disjointed.
Anyway, it's funny how much we ponder so many "What ifs" for Ennis and Jack. If it had been any other way it wouldn't have been BBM. I'm glad they didn't "wise up" and move on away from each other. Vicariously, I live for their fishing trips too, through them. I would NOT rather they give those up.
I've lost the topic. I'm going to post this anyway.
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