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This game can't seem to survive out at IMDb BBM, so maybe some people here would be interested in participating in a revived edition here.
This is what I was able to copy last night:
Q: Why did that thread get deleted?
A: It was too intellectual.
A: Someone has something against stupid questions/answers
A: Because you can never have any fun on this message board!!!
Q: Would the real troll please stand up?
A: Trolls have neither limbs nor genitals.
Q: What do trolls eat?
A: they eat their hearts out when people are having a good time.
Q: Am I the only one pi**ed at this?
A: To get to the other side.
Q: Why don't Texans drink coffee?
A: Coffee doesn't go well with BBQ ribs for breakfast.
Q: Why are Ennis and Jack white?
A: Because they haven't spent enough time washing their clothes naked.
Q: Did Jack shave after he arrived at work? Why didn't he shave before he left?
A: Because last year he wasted time shaving and ended up only having Aguirre and 'Lightening Rod' Louie to look purty for.
Q: Why is Jack such a rotten shot?
A: because he wasn't a straight shooter.
Q: Why does lil' Bobby twist need a tutor?
A: because his granpa taught him everything he knew.
Q: Why was Jack handy with a can opener?
A: Because his wrists were well developed....don't ask
Q: Why did Jack pick the mexican prostitute that he did?
A: Because it was dark.
A: Because he was the only Mexican he could find in Mexico...
Q: Why did Jack take up the harmonica?
A: It was on the gound.
A: Because carrying a Bass Cello around on horseback can be a bit inconvenient!
Q: Why not have baby turtles instead of sheep?
A: It's really hard to shear a turtle!
Q: Why did Alma Junior knock over the peanuts in the store?
A: because she liked to see how they all magically appear back on the shelf. Anybody catch that in the movie?
Q;Why did Jacks wife go so blonde?
A: To match the carpet.
Q: Why don't men dance with their wives?
A: because they know their wifes are sick of their '2 steps'
Q: Why did Jack "Sleep like a horse on its feet?
A: Because horses don't generally sleep on their heads!
Q: Whose a better dancer, Jack or Ennis and why?
A: Ennis because the boy can do MANY things well without instruction manual.
Q: What did the wives think of Jack and Ennis' affair?
A; that was fine with them cause now they can go back to saying a womans favorite line... " the ceiling needs painting" during sex.
Q: Why was Ennis so mad at the mule?
A: Because the mule refused the title of pack mule and instead went by carpenter mule and everyone knows a carpenter mule cannot be expected to pack anything according to the carpentry union rule 1069...thus, Ennis was mad.
Q: Where WAS Jack's blue parka??
A: Well, secretly Lureen had thrown it away because it smelled like cat pis*, she didn't have the heart to tell Jack.
Q: Why is it essential that cowboys shave out of coffee cups?
A: Because they bathe out of pots.
Q: How do you tell the male sheep from the female sheep?
A: Duh! Which one is yapping on her cell non-stop?
Q: How come Jack didn't walk funny the morning after? (I'm a sick girl! lol )
Participants included greentree, belfastgirl, the protector, arad-3, kudzudaddy. KYLE-D, LPD730-1, MtBecky, purplemonkey and shasmiles
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further answers/questions from IMDb's thread
To permit survival, three threads have been started by three different people. Here are responses to two of them:
Q: Why does jack like to ride bulls?
A; you need to ask Ennis that question.
Q:Why did'nt Ennis want lamb chops for dinner?
A: Because when he was a kid he loved the hand puppet Lamb Chop and still thinks lamb chop is real
Q: Why do cowboys sing around the camp fire?
A: it's more fun than singing round a washing machine
Q: How do you seperate your sheep from others?
A: You put the whites in one basket and the colors in another...
Q: Why was Ennis carrying the lamb on the horse with him?
A: because there was only two horses.
Q; how many cans of beans can a cowboy eat?
participants - in this incarnation - arad-3, tullio-2, carrie 26, MtBecky
Q: How come Jack didn't walk funny the morning after? (I'm a sick girl! lol )
A: because he'd already had the opportunity to sin.
Q: Why can't Jack and Ennis play on both threads here and Just Curious?
A; It seems that if Jack and Ennis have too much fun everyone gets mad.
Q; Do cowboys prefer briefs or boxers?
participants - in this incarnation - Atlanta 1, and others from previous posts
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If you find participants on IMDb who seem earnestly and genuinely participating in the thread who don't seem to be trolls, you can PM them over there to come visit over here. Since IMDb seems uninterested in policing their own forums from trolls, we should just poach their users. :)
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People, this is a FUNNY game!
It's not happening anymore out at IMDb BBM, but I was able to copy the game from the THREE consecutively running threads that all got deleted by Black River in a matter of moments after I put him on ignore (I don't think that that was a coincidence! - The guy really doesn't like me!)
Anyways, here is an agragate of the last stupid questions and their respective stupid answers. I believe that there are still 4 unanswered questions just begging for YOUR stupid answers. And feel free to contribute new stupid questions too! Please - enjoy ....
Q: How come Jack didn't walk funny the morning after? (I'm a sick girl! lol )
A:What? I thought he did!
Q; Do cowboys prefer briefs or boxers?
A; briefs; because the 'fruit of the loom guys' have made a big comeback!
A: Briefs. Boxers are too boxy looking.If that makes any sense lol.
Q: What is it about sleeping under the stars?
A: It's easier to do...Sleeping over the stars causes one to crash into the cow, who regularly insists on jumping over the moon.
Q:Why is Ennis obsessed with tucking in his shirt?
A: Because the inside of his pants are itchy and the shirt is soft.
Q: Why does Jack stick his boot in the fire?
A: Best way to get sheep sh*t off 'em.
Q:What does Aguirre do all year?
A: Stemming the lilacs.
Q: What kind of superpower does Jack's mustache have?
A: Allows the wearer to give condescending fathers-in-law and insecure soulmates a piece of his mind.
A: Can't tell ya explicitly, but Ennis sure appreciates it . . .
Q:What IS Bobby eating BEFORE the Thanksgiving turkey comes out?
A: The turkey is GAY???
Q: Does Lureen sleep with eyes open?
A: She did, until Jack grew his mustache, and then she had them surgically removed.
Q: Why did Cassie try to get a foot rub?
A: Bunion.
Q: Is homosexuality real?
A: only if you close your eyes and tap your heels together and say three times... "theres no place like home, theres no place like home, theres no place like home"
A: No, and neither is breathing, animals, taxes or tooth decay!
Q: Why were the coyotes attracted to the sheep?
A: who would'nt be?
Q: What was the real reason Alma Jr. wanted to live with her Dad?
A; cause Monroe kept saying she still owed him for the damage to his nuts.. (peanuts)
Q: How come Ennis didn't shoot the bear?
A: He was too busy shooting for the moon!
Q: What did Ennis think condiments were?
A: answered by Arad-3 --- look below
Q: why does the sun set in the west?
Q: What do cowboys carry in their saddlebags?
A: answered by MtBecky --- look below
Q: Why did Jack steal Ennis' bloody shirt?
participants - in this incarnation include - Atlanta 1, the protector, LPD730-1, ashleerox16, lauragiggs, arad-03 MtBecky
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Q: What did Ennis think condiments were?
A: after supper mints.
Q: Why were they drinking 'OLD Rose' whiskey 'instead of 'Jack Daniels'
Hi Roland. I see you got it in over here! That's so cool.
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Q: Why were they drinking 'OLD Rose' whiskey 'instead of 'Jack Daniels'
A: because Joe Aguirre sent it to deliver a subliminal message about ' his old rose
Q: What do cowboys carry in those saddlebags?
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Q: What do cowboys carry in their saddlebags?
A: Uhm, lipstick, chewing gum, checkbook needing to be refilled, package of Midol, Dayplanner from 2002....<Gasp!> WAIT! That's what I have in my purse!
::) Okay, lets see...what do cowboys carry in their saddlebags? I'm guessing a spare saddle for when they have ridden the old saddle... sore?
Q: Why does Monroe part his hair on the side?!?!
:Insert smiley cat flower here!:
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Q: Why does Monroe part his hair on the side?!?!
A: Because he doesn't want to be accused of being in the middle of anything!
Q: Why is Ennis having pie at the bus station?
:-*
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Q: Why is Ennis having pie at the bus station?
A: Cause he relizes his hot cross buns days are over.
Q: Why was Ennis so mad at the mule?
Hi Mt Becky!
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Q: Why was Ennis so mad at the mule?
A: Because it acted like a dumb ass?
Oh, I could ask a lot of questions about the differences between the original story and some people would think they were stupid questions, too.
Q: Why did Aguirre say that those guys stemmed the rose when he never saw them with rose blossoms?
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Q: Why did Aguirre say that those guys stemmed the rose when he never saw them with rose blossoms?
A :Joe just thought that was what the boys were calling it these days. In his hay day,
they used to have "husking the corn' partys.
Q :Why did'nt Monroe care about the nuts?
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Q: Why did Aguirre say that those guys stemmed the rose when he never saw them with rose blossoms?
A :Joe just thought that was what the boys were calling it these days. In his hay day,
they used to have "husking the corn' partys.
Q :Why did'nt Monroe care about the nuts?
[An aside here: Oh, where I come from, if rural guys had anal sex, they called it "corn-hole-in'." Part of that expression comes from the fact that guys used the corn cobs for butt wipes instead of toilet paper. The expression to "stem the rose" has no connection with sex in the first place; it is related to goofing off, or just wasting time on unimportant things when there are more important things which need to be done.]
A: to above, Monroe was more interested in "Mother's Cookies." (Mother's is a real brand)
Q: Speaking of nuts in glass jars, how did those broken jars get back together with no cracks upon them and look like they had never fallen off the shelf in the first place?
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Geez TJ your a real serious dude!
Q: Speaking of nuts in glass jars, how did those broken jars get back together with no cracks upon them and look like they had never fallen off the shelf in the first place
A ummm. .Because they were Monroes ''Party Nuts" They were probley back up for 'LAST CALL!!"
Q: What did the boys do for lunch?
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Q: What did the boys do for lunch?
A:They ate a can of Bettermost beans with the little weiners in them singing to themselves..."one is the lonliest number that you ever knew,'
Q: Why did'nt Jack offer Ennis a ride?
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Q: Why did'nt Jack offer Ennis a ride?
A: well poor Jack was all riden out by that point. Remember, It took him 4 years to recover!
Q: what else did Ennis have in that paper bag?
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Q: what else did Ennis have in that paper bag?
A: that piece of Cherry cake he couldn't eat just yet.
Q: Why does Aguirre chew on that tooth pick all the time?
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Q: Why does Aguirre chew on that tooth pick all the time?
A: He's on a diet - tring to cut down from chewing on twiggs.
Q: Still want to know "How many cans of beans can a cowboy eat?"
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Q: What did the wives think of Jack and Ennis' affair?
fishing trips can be hazardous to your marriage !
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Still want to know "How many cans of beans can a cowboy eat?"
A: How ever many it takes to be able to' toot' out the tune of 'Home on the range"
Q:What does old man twist do when hes not sitting at the table staring?
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Q:What does old man twist do when hes not sitting at the table staring?
A: Not surprisingly, little is known of Mr. Twist's private life. However he is known in a tight circle of immediate relatives, as the Domestic Diva of his time. Yes, while
other ranchers and farmers are tending to their land, Mr. Twist can be seen sweeping the floors and polishing windows, with that little whistle of contentment. This is why he was always in desperate need of Jack to snag a buddy and bring him to the homestead to help out. Mrs. Twist, although delighted with his homemaking abilities, declines to comment. :-\
Q: And just whatever became of Cassie?
Hi back attcha Arad! :)
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That last one was so funny MtBecky!
Q: And just whatever became of Cassie?
A: Cassie went back to the bar and continued to dance. Rumor has it she now has her own cage.
Q;What would Joe Aquirres wife be like?
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Q: What would Joe Aquirres wife be like?
A: (s)He would be at least 6'4" tall and a big muscular horse-ridin' shepherd who did not stem the rose and let his dogs baby-sit the sheep during working hours. He preferred to fool-around when all the work was done.
Q: How did Cassie meet that cowboy who was with her in the combination bus-station/restaurant?
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Q: How did Cassie meet that cowboy who was with her in the combination bus-station/restaurant?
A: Rumor has it, that he was a shoe salesman that tried some 3 inch platform shoes on Cassie followed by an extensive footrubbing, which led to a little slap and tickle in the storeroom!
Q: Why did Cassie play, "The Devil's Right Hand" before asking Ennis to dance?
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Q: Why did Cassie play, "The Devil's Right Hand" before asking Ennis to dance?
A: "The Devil's left hand" was otherwise occupied.
Q: Why did Fayette Newsome choose to bring 2 boxes of formula as a gift for her new grandson?
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Q: Why did Fayette Newsome choose to bring 2 boxes of formula as a gift for her new grandson?
A: Because she thought it would be UDDERly imossible for Lureen to keep her sorority girl figure if Bobby was pullin' her teats.
Q: Why didn't Jack help Ennis put up the tent when they moved to a new camp?
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Q: Why didn't Jack help Ennis put up the tent when they moved to a new camp?
A: Because he'd always heard that putting up a tent was a man's job!
(Forgive me Jack! I couldn't think of another stupid answer!!) ::)
Q: Why did Jack and Ennis smoke so much?
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Q: Why did Jack and Ennis smoke so much?
A: They tried to cover the stink of “sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap”.
O: Why did Mr. Twist spit into his coffee cup?
???
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O: Why did Mr. Twist spit into his coffee cup?
A: Because, silly, spitting on the floor was rude... in front of company!
Q: Why didn't the bear run after Ennis?
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Q: Why didn't the bear run after Ennis?
A: The bear's gaydar was receiving a wrong signal, why else would anyone miss the oppurtunity of running after a hot fella like Ennis?
Q: Why did Ennis hate soup?
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Q: Why did Ennis hate soup?
A: It probably reminded him too much of Heinz, his first high school crush.
Q: Why didn’t Jack want any of the hot water?
???
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Q: Why didn’t Jack want any of the hot water?
A: because he had already needed to take a cold dip in the river earlier just thinking about Ennis and that hot water!
Q: Why didn't Monroe or the girls hear all that fuss in the kitchen between Alma and Ennis?
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Q: Why didn't Monroe or the girls hear all that fuss in the kitchen between Alma and Ennis?
A: They were engrossed in the oh so rivioting, edge of your seat, ice escapades on tv! ::)
Q: Did Randall and LaShawn have any children?
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Q: Did Randall and LaShawn have any children?
A: Naw, 'cause she was such a motor mouth that no matter how horny Randall could be her mouth would make him have ED in the bedroom.
Q: Speaking of Randall, why did he want Jack to know about that secluded place and invite him to go there?
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Q: Speaking of Randall, why did he want Jack to know about that secluded place and invite him to go there?
A: Randall was running a top-secret marijuana operation with Roy Taylor at this 'secluded place', and he thought Jack would make an excellent business partner.
Q: LaShawn said she never thought she'd end up in a "pokey lil place like Childress". What was so "pokey" about it?
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Q: LaShawn said she never thought she'd end up in a "pokey lil place like Childress". What was so "pokey" about it?
A: Cactus, the good people of Childress used cactus for everything...cactus lampposts, parking meters, park benches and even incorporated it into their menus....Cactus soup, Cactus Salad, Cactus A la mode, Flaming Cactus and my personal favorite, Cactus Tar Tar! Hence the title, a "Pokey Lil' Place"!
Q: What was Jack's Horse's name? ???
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Q: What was Jack's Horse's name? ???
A: Musta been "Giddy Up!" But, Ennis chose one already named "Cigar Butt."
Q: Why would anyone want to put his butt on a cigar butt? ::)
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Q: Why would anyone want to put his butt on a cigar butt?
A: If the cigar butt is in someone's mouth, that might be the incentive. ::)
Q: Why did Joe Aguirre think that "ranch stiffs were never no good"?
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Q: Why did Joe Aguirre think that "ranch stiffs were never no good"?
A: Because they were more interested in each other than in him! ::)
Q: What the hell is a Stud Duck?
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Q: What the hell is a Stud Duck?
A: A "stud duck" thinks that he is the alpha male of the water fowl kingdom. That was not actually a stupid question. The movie's Jack's father-in-law called himself "the stud duck;" but, apparently Ennis (in Annie Proulx's narrative) thought Mr. Twist, Sr. acted like one.
Q. What does pointless phrase "the hell" inserted into a question have to do with the actual question? ???
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Tj - you need to treat the question as though it were a stupid question!
What's a stud duck
A: how about "Randy Quaid trying to get $10 000 000 for compensation and a 3 scene job well done!" - How's that? not very funny - but at least trying to be - Hunh?
Oh and it helps if it is somewhat related to BBM!
any other takers for the Stud duck question?
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Q: What does pointless phrase "the hell" inserted into a question have to do with the actual question?
A: It enhances the question - making the questioner sound more intelligent to the questionee.
Q: When Jack told Lureen: "I like the direction your going", what direction is that??
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Q: When Jack told Lureen: "I like the direction your going", what direction is that??
A: South. It’s always south where it’s hot.
Q: Was Jack really waiting for a matin’ call?
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Q: Was Jack really waiting for a matin’ call?
A: Yea maybe. Maybe he's Australian "Hey Mate!"
Q: Why did Jack steal Ennis' bloody shirt?
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Q: Why did Jack steal Ennis' bloody shirt?
A: Well, a woman can never have enough shoes and it’s obviously the same with cowboys and shirts…
Q: Remember the lake scene dialogue? Why was Ennis too much for Jack?
???
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Q: Remember the lake scene dialogue? Why was Ennis too much for Jack? ???
A: Because Lureen had put Jack on a strict allowance and the price of Ennis's had gone up in the last month.
Q: Why was the place Jack's parents had, called Lightnin Flat?
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Q: Why was the place Jack's parents had, called Lightnin Flat?
A: It was named after John Twist's favorite soap opera. 'The World Revolves Around Lightnin Flat' It was the one that Susan Lucci got her start.
Q: Why did Jack feel like he needed a quick shave?
MtBecky your so funny!
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Q: Why did Jack feel like he needed a quick shave?
A: Well, there wasn’t enough stubble to justify a looong one… Besides it offered him an excuse to show off his butt. ;D
Q: Given Jack had knocked it there, what would L.D. Newsome’s ignorant ass have done in the next week?
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Q: Given Jack had knocked it there, what would L.D. Newsome’s ignorant ass have done in the next week?
A: LD's ignorant ass would've consumed all the left-over turkey from the Thanksgiving dinner! He'd have saved Bobby the worry of "eating that stuff for the next 2 weeks".
Q: If Jack and Ennis were really into rose-stemming, how come there were no rose petals all over the tent??
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Q: If Jack and Ennis were really into rose-stemming, how come there were no rose petals all over the tent??
A: Jack always put them away immediately because he collected them. Wanted to surprise Ennis with a song he had written and which Bon Jovi happened to cover years later: "I want to lay you down on a bed of roses." Of course he needed quite a few rose petals to make a bit of an impression with that...
Q: Why did Jack stick his boot into the fire?
???
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Q: Why did Jack stick his boot into the fire?
A: Because he thought Ennis would scoop him in his arms and carry him out of harms way.
Q:Why was Jack washing his clothes naked the next day?
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Q:Why was Jack washing his clothes naked the next day?
A; because he felt it was too early in the relationship to pull out his fuzzy robe and matching slippers.
Q: What did Mrs. Twist ever see in Mr. Twist?
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Hey good one!!
Q: What did Mrs. Twist ever see in Mr. Twist
A; His award winning personality
Q: What's Mr. Twists favorite meal?
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Q: What's Mr. Twists favorite meal?
A: Salt-free cabbage soup, coleslaw served with a generous helping of roasted pumpkin seeds, and for dessert - coffee-flavored spit in his best mug! (All served cold with a little dry twig for tooth-picking).
Q: Why did Joe Aguirre carry binoculaurs?
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Q: Why did Joe Aguirre carry binoculaurs?
A;Because he used tp pretend he was a German spy
Q:Why didnt Ennis ever open up that fishing tackle box?
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Q: Why didnt Ennis ever open up that fishing tackle box?
A: Oh that's an easy one ... because he was too busy opening his own private Jack in the box!
Q: Why does Ennis speak so funny?
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Q: Why does Ennis speak so funny?
A: Because he is a dedicated stand-up comedian and all-round funny dude!
Q: Why did Jack suggest a cow and calf operation to Ennis, and not a sheep-and-lamb operation?
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Q: Why did Jack suggest a cow and calf operation to Ennis, and not a sheep-and-lamb operation?
A: Because Jack has no beef when it comes to raising cattle; but, he gets the willies when around woolies. He thinks sheep are baaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
Q: Why did Alma tie a note on Ennis's fishin' line?
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Q: Why did Alma tie a note on Ennis's fishin' line?-
A: because she could check that( unlike Ennis's other line }for nibbles and bites.
B:Why was'nt Jack much of a cook?
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Q: Why was'nt Jack much of a cook?
A: Jack never bothered to cook because he liked everything raw and hard. ::)
Q: Why didn't Ennis agree with Jack when he suggested that they kill one of the sheep for supper?
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Q: Why didn't Ennis agree with Jack when he suggested that they kill one of the sheep for supper?
A: He wanted to make sure there were some left overs for the next day... :P
Q: Why did Ennis think the tent didn't look right? ???
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Q: Why did Ennis think the tent didn't look right?
A: The interiour decoration was missing: no pics of horses or mountains, no empty beer bottles, no full ashtray.
Q: Why did Jimbo reject Jack?
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Q: Why did Jimbo reject Jack?
A: Because he thought knowing Jack would blow his chances of keeping his barrell job.
Q: Why did L.D. Newsome hate Jack's guts?
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: Why did L.D. Newsome hate Jack's guts?
A: because they were in alot better shape than his.
Q:Why did Joe Aguirre pick sheep?
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Q:Why did Joe Aguirre pick sheep?
A: Because he couldn't pick the guitar like me...
Q: Why is ARAD-3 so cute?
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Q: Why is ARAD-3 so cute?
A; cause your on top of me...
Q: why did'nt Ennis play an instrument ?
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Q: why did'nt Ennis play an instrument ?
A: Because they had so much stuff to bring up to the mountain, he couldn't carry a tune...
Q: Why did Jack pound on Ennis's shirt when he was washing it at the creek?
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Nice one Acousticmen! (couldn't he carry a tune? ;D)
Q: Why did Jack pound on Ennis's shirt when he was washing it at the creek?
A: Because it was the closest he could come at that moment to pounding Ennis; first, he'd have to pound it and then wring it! Pretty satisfying if you ask me! :P
Q: Why did Lureen become a bleach-blonde? ???
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Good one Lucise!
Q: Why did Lureen become a bleach-blonde?
A: The director told her it was either that or a fake mustache, side burns, liver spots, or wrinkles...
Q: Why did Jack's father know where Brokeback Mountain was?
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Q: Why did Jack's father know where Brokeback Mountain was?
A: He had herded sheep there one summer with Joe Aguirre. They was good friends...
Q: Why don't Texans drink coffee? ???
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Q: Why don't Texans drink coffee?
A:They do, but not if its offered in between a four year reunion kiss and a motel.
Q;Why did Ennis always turn his back to Jack after sex?
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Q;Why did Ennis always turn his back to Jack after sex?
A: Because it was Jack's turn......
Q: Why did they name the mountain Brokeback Mountain?
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Q: Why did they name the mountain Brokeback Mountain?
A: Because Summer of Lustful, Romantic, Force of Nature, Soul Partner in a Tent Mountain was too long to say.
Q: Why did Ennis "Beam" Alma with snow while they were sledding?
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Why did Ennis "Beam" Alma with snow while they were sledding?
A:Alma was starting to get a little frisky so he had to cool her down
Q:Why did Chris get voted off American idol?
note by moderator (Roland) - keep to BBM topic - for now - please
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Q:Why did Chris get voted off American idol?
A: I don't know!!!! I am so bummed! He was my favorite. Not only was he handsome but he could sing like no other! Oh wait...that's not an answer,
is it?.....
A: Because everyone that had a real ear for true talent forgot to call in during the alloted time?
Q: Where did Ennis get the last hat we see him wear? ???
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Q: Where did Ennis get the last hat we see him wear?
A: He got it at Granny and Jedd Clampets garage sale.
Q:What trailer park did Ennis move into to?
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Q: What trailer park did Ennis move into to?
A: Bettermost Trailer Park
Q: Why did Jack wear briefs and not boxers?
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Q: Why did Jack wear briefs and not boxers?
A: cause he wore his fathers hand me downs
Q:Where did Joe Aguirre live?
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Q:Where did Joe Aguirre live?
A: With his mother!
Q;Where did his father live?
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Q;Where did his father live?
A:his father lives with his mother
Q: what does old Joe do for fun?
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Q: what does old Joe do for fun?
A: He uses his buy-knock-you-larz for entertainment purposes because he does not have adult cable or a DVD player to to watch porn.
Q: Why did Jack redline it all the way?
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Q: Why did Jack redline it all the way?
A: Because his yellow highlighter was starting to dry up! ::)
Q: What made Jack's mother think that Jack appreciated her keeping his room the way it was when he was a boy? Huh?
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Q: What made Jack's mother think that Jack appreciated her keeping his room the way it was when he was a boy? Huh?
A because "queer Eyes for the straight guys" guys never came a knockin'
Q:Why did'nt Jack or Ennis ever drive cars instead of trucks?
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Q: Why did'nt Jack or Ennis ever drive cars instead of trucks?
A- Cos, silly, you can't fit two horses & their gear & the tent, and the camping equipment and ... in cars
Q- Why ain't nobody playin' this game no more?
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this is too m uch for me,
just got to the 2 page
and i got a headache for pressing my laughs...in the office
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two easy mishaps:
Why would Ennis be better OFF sleeping in the tent?
Why does Ennis's dad call rodeo riders fuck'ups, instead of fuck ups?
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Question: why Jack always slept with his back against Ennis?
( am i using the correct preposition? you know, don't you ...about the pose i mean)
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Q: Why Jack always slept with his back against Ennis?
A: Cause Ennis is such a HOTtie!!
Q: Why is it always so d a m n cold?
See Novi, yer suppose ta repeat the last question and answer it with a silly/funny answer before yer allowed ta ask a new stupid question! It's a game!
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Q: Why is it always so d a m n cold?
A: It's easier then for two not queer guys to find an excuse for stemming the rose
Q: Why does Aguirre look at his wrist watch so demonstrative?
-
Q: Why does Aguirre look at his wrist watch so demonstrative?
A: Because he can't believe they can go at it longer than he can when he's alone with the sheep.
Q: Why doesn't Alma throw a hissy fit when she first meets Jack?
-
Q: Why doesn't Alma throw a hissy fit when she meets Jack?
A: Jack's beauty rendered her speechless.
Q: Why did Jack say the mare "got lucky" when she threw him?
-
Q: Why did Jack say the mare "got lucky" when she threw him?
A: Because anyone would would be "lucky" to have Jack on their back!
Q: Did Lureens Father have Jack Killed?
-
Q: Did Lureen's father have Jack killed?
A: No, he was just a kill joy.
Q: Why was Jack warshing laundry in the creek nekked except for his cowboy boots?
-
Q: Why was Jack warshing laundry in the creek nekked except for his cowboy boots?
A: Because these boots were made for walking. (thankyou Nancy Sinatra!)
Q: Why isn't Jack the restaraunt type?
-
Q: Why isn't Jack the restaraunt type?
A: Becuase he likes to crawl under the table during desert
Q: Why does Jack grow that dumb moustache?
-
Q: Why does Jack grow that dumb moustache?
A: Because it sticks to parts of Ennis like Velcro!
Q: Why should Bobby watch Football?
-
Q: Why should Bobby watch Football?
A: So he can learn how to bend over just like daddy.
Q: What shade of lipstick is it that Lureen wears on the telephone?
-
Q: What shade of lipstick is it that Lureen wears on the telephone?
A: Blood on my hands Red of course!
Q: Where does Monroe keep the condoments?
-
Q: Where does Monroe keep the condoments?
A: In the bedside table drawer of course.
Q: Why did Jack pick that God awful ugly Mexican hooker?
-
Q: Why did Jack pick that God awful ugly Mexican hooker?
A: Why not? He'll have his back towards him anyways!
Q: Why did Lureen need some many bottles of Formula?
-
Q: Why did Lureen need some many bottles of Formula?
A: To get her hair just the right shade of cotton candy.
Q: How many cans of hairspray are required to keep Ma Newsome's beehive humming?
-
Q: Why did Lureen need some many bottles of Formula?
A: To get her hair just the right shade of cotton candy.
Q: How many cans of hairspray are required to keep Ma Newsome's beehive humming?
she only needs one for her hair, but she needs 120 to keep the stud duck stiff,
why is it that lureen wants the dining room chairs to be covered in purple ?
-
Q: why is it that lureen wants the dining room chairs to be covered in purple ?
A: Because pink reminds Lureen of her husband too much.
Q: Why should you never order soup?
-
Q: Why should you never order soup?
A: Because "No more beans!" is a funnier line than, "No more soup!"
Q: Why does Jack ask Ennis, "All this time, and you ain't found nobody else to marry?"
-
Q: Why does Jack ask Ennis, "All this time, and you ain't found nobody else to marry?"
A: Because Jack realized that Ennis obviously needed help with washing those more-than-smelly socks of his....
Q: Where *did* Jack find his blue parka?
-
Q: Where *did* Jack find his blue parka?
A: Wardrobe people get cold too on those mornin mountain shoots!
Q: Why is the collector's DVD a Brokeback Mountain bein released after the Christmas rush?
-
Q: Why is the collector's DVD a Brokeback Mountain bein released after the Christmas rush?
A: They don't want to waste their money on Pre-Christmas advertising knowing that nobody will buy it without the deleted scenes!
Q: Why are ranch stiffs never any good? <( per J.Aguirre)
-
Q: Why are ranch stiffs never any good? <( per J.Aguirre)
A: Because they always mess around with the poor animals:
(http://www.geelongartsalliance.org/blue_sheep/sheep_two.jpg)
(http://www.millieballance.com/images/sheep%20in%20pink%20copy.jpg)
(http://gizmodo.com/images/2006/04/sheep.jpg)
Q: Why is OMT almost bold?
-
Q: Why is OMT almost bold?
OMT= Old Man Twist? bold? = bald?
A: Because he is so thick headed that even hair wont grow there!
Q: Did Jacks Mom know Ennis was his lover?
-
David: Yep, OMT = Old Man Twist and ooops, I meant bald, not bold, sorry 'bout that.
Q: Did Jacks Mom know Ennis was his lover?
A: No, for the rest of her life she wondered why the heck the pizza-boy took those shirts (and forgot the pizza, to begin with).
Q: Where did Cassie want to go to with her new BF Karl? (at the Greyhound station)
-
Q: Where did Cassie want to go to with her new BF Karl? (at the Greyhound station)
A: She wanted to go south, where it's warm......
Q: Did Neiman Marcus consider Lashawn a valuable employee?
-
Q: Did Neiman Marcus consider Lashawn a valuable employee?
A: No, he considered her a good time.
Q: Why was the original BBM script changed?
-
Q: Why is the collector's DVD a Brokeback Mountain bein released after the Christmas rush?
A: Just in time for Chinese New Year in Taiwan!
Q: Why is Jack responsible for the weather?
-
Wow - the two of you are creating double trouble!
Well, I'm not daunted! ;D
Q: Why is Jack responsible for the weather?
A: He must be, the way everyone feels struck by lightning once they see him.....
and
Q: Q: Why was the original BBM script changed?
A: Ang Lee thought those numerous scripted nights-in-tent scenes might be considered too repetitive, so asked to have the script changed to include just a couple of them...... :o
Q: Why didn't Jack shave until he reached Aguirre's office trailer?
-
Q: Why didn't Jack shave until he reached Aguirre's office?
A: He was only pretending to shave (no razor blade) as an excuse to check out the Hot Man that was outside Aguirre's office.
Q: What did Ennis see in heaven?
-
Q: What did Ennis see in heaven?
A: This:
(http://www.beyondsunsigns.com/images/heartinspace-185.jpg)
Q: Why does Junior's eye color change from bright blue to dark brown?
-
OT: Oh, I love that picture! And it's the *perfect* reply to the question. :-*
-
Q: Why does Junior's eye color change from bright blue to dark brown?
A: So that Alma doesn't suspect Jack's her real mom.
Q: If the mule was a mule, why was he called a Dumb Ass? ???
-
Q: If the mule was a mule, why was he called a Dumb Ass?
A: 'Cause Ennis was so far-sighted that a mule and an ass looked about the same, close up. :D ::)
Q: Why were pearls Lureen's specially favoured jewels?
-
Q: Why were pearls Lureen's specially favoured jewels?
A: Hum ... sumthin ta do with ... a distant mem'ry a her husband's family jewels? mebe? (don't shoot me, it's s'pose ta be funny!)
Q: We know bout Thanksgivin', but how did Lureen & Jack sprend Christmas?
-
Q: We know bout Thanksgivin', but how did Lureen & Jack sprend Christmas?
A: Well, since husbands neeeeever want to dance with their wives, they sure didn't spend it rockin' around the christmas tree!
Q: Speaking of christmas, what did Santa put in Bobby Twist's stocking?
-
OT: Oh, I love that picture! And it's the *perfect* reply to the question. :-*
Thanks, Mika :)
Q: Speaking of christmas, what did Santa put in Bobby Twist's stocking?
A: A DVD from the movie "Billy Elliot", because boys can dance ballet instead of playing football and grow up to right men.
Q: What didn't Aguirre want to do for the mysterious caller on the phone, not even on his f*in life?
-
Q: What didn't Aguirre want to do for the mysterious caller on the phone, not even on his f*in life?
A: It was the forest ranger, who wanted to come and "snoop around" his trailer (I know, I am one!!) (and stem the rose--no roses allowed on Brokeback Mountain!)
Q: Why did Monroe have to carve the turkey with an electric carving knife??
-
Q: Why did Monroe have to carve the turkey with an electric carving knife??
A: His limp wrists made that kind of utensil enhancement necessary to get the carving done. (Monroe is an anti-stereotype guy too!)
Q: How did Aguirre come by his goat's head hat rack?
-
Q: How did Aguirre come by his goat's heat hat rack?
A: He received it as an incentive gift when he sealed his pact with the Devil.
Q: Why was Alma so insistent that Ennis's friend from Texas come upstairs and drink a cup of coffee?
-
Q: Why was Alma so insistent that Ennis's friend from Texas come upstairs and drink a cup of coffee?
A: Well, she *had* spent a lot of effort, mixing just the right quantity of arsenic into the coffee, so it would be a pity if it just went to waste.
Q: What did Carl (the talking boyfriend) mainly talk about?
-
Q: What did Carl (the talking boyfriend) mainly talk about?
A: About the details and subtleties of calf castrating. He knew it was Cassie's favourite topic.
Q: Why did Monroe drink milk on Thanksgiving (he did!) ?
-
Q: Why did Monroe drink milk on Thanksgiving (he did!) ?
A: He was practising for his upcoming Riverton Gazette "Got Milk" ad.
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a100/Maeglian/gotmilk.jpg)
Q: Why did Lureen and Jack put a zebra skin rug on their living room floor?
-
Q: Why did Lureen and Jack put a zebra skin rug on their living room floor?
A: Lureen put it, not Jack. she thought it could provoke Jack to have a wildlife matin' scene on it, but the point never came across.
Q: what did the boys have for meals after coming back from the motel (reunion)?
-
A: Bangers and mash!!
Happy New Year everybody!!
Q: Why did Ennis's daddy think rodeo cowboys was all f**kups??
-
Q: Why did Ennis's daddy think rodeo cowboys was all f**kups??
A: ehh - personal experience? - he'd been "with" a few boys in his youth (isn't bein gay hereditary?)
Q: Why should boys watch football?
-
Q: Why should boys watch football?
A. Because football players look so cute in their uniforms.
Q. Why does Monroe watch figure skating?
edit note: I hate it when MY spelling errors are quoted - edited fer the typo! - Sheriff Roland
-
Q why does monroe watch figure skating?
A because he heard it is more interesting than sheep skating....but im not sure i would agree..
Q Why did ennis like to sit around tying knots all day,,,,,?
a
-
Q Why did ennis like to sit around tying knots all day,,,,,?
A: So that he could check out the size of the balls on that dumb-ass mule.
Q: Why did John C Twist spit into his coffee cup?
-
Q: Why did John C Twist spit into his coffee cup?
A: Because he didn't have to do the dishes.
Q: Is the Black and Blue Eagle Bar a leather bar? (courtesy of shakestheground)
-
Q: Is the Black and Blue Eagle Bar a leather bar? (courtesy of shakestheground)
A: No, it's a feather bar!
Q: What will happen if "they" all know about Ennis?
Edit note: edited ta conform ta format - nothin more - Sheriff Roland
-
Q: What will happen if "they" all know about Ennis?
A. They will all fall in love with Ennis too and want to meet him in a tent because he is so gorgeous and sad.
Q. Who exactly are "they"?
-
they are the sheep....they are busy making the wooley booley for the song.....dum
dum dum wooley booley
why why do those dumbass mules, always spook and scatter food all over the
dang mountain?
-
A: You'd spook too if you come upon a bear that was such a bad actor!!
Q: Why did Michelle ask Jake and Heath to make out offscreen??
-
Q: Why did Michelle ask Jake and Heath to make out offscreen??
A. She asked them to make out because she just liked to watch them because they are so damn cute together.
Can't imagine why else.
Q. Why did Heath marry Michelle instead of Jake?
-
Q: Why did Heath marry Michelle instead of Jake?
A: Because he's afraid of dogs.
Q: Why did LaShawn marry Randall?
-
Q: Why did LaShawn marry Randall?
A: Because he didn't know how to change tires
Q: Why did Jack asked LaShawn to a dance?
-
Why did Jack asked LaShawn to a dance?
A: Err... he didn't, but made do with her because dumbass Randall didn't react! ::)
Q: Why don't Texans never drink coffee?
-
Q: Why don't Texans never drink coffee?
A. Because Texans drink herbal tea with lemon.
Q. Why couldn't Ennis eat the cherry cake just now?
-
Q: What will happen if "they" all know about Ennis?
A: the romeos will be banished to live a happy secluded live together in the mountain; Ennis is just not ready for the commitment.
Q: does Mrs. Twist always keep extra brown paper bag in her kitchen?
-
Q: does Mrs. Twist always keep extra brown paper bag in her kitchen?
A: Cause she found it was easier to pull a "Bull Durham" if Mr.Twist was wearing it over his head!
Q: What does old man Twist do for fun?
-
Q: What does old man Twist do for fun?
A: making new record for filling up the coffee cup with his spit
Q: why Jack never came upon a bear?
-
Q
Why did Jack never come upon a bear.
A
Cause he, was used to, comin up off a bull....
Q
Why didnt Cassie "get, Ennis Del Mar?"
-
Q. Why didn't Cassie get Ennis Del Mar?
A. Because she is a girl and her heels are too high to think!
Q. Why didn't Randall listen to anything to LaShawn had to say?
-
q
Why didnt Randall listen to anything La Shawn had to say?
a He was too busy looking for chewing gum, and bailing wire...
q Why didnt, Jacks mama ever explain it to him, about the pentacost??
-
Q: Why didnt, Jacks mama ever explain it to him, about the pentacost??
A: Because she figured Jack already flamed too much.
Q: Why did Jack and Ennis drive pick up trucks?
-
Q: Why did Jack and Ennis drive pick up trucks?
A: Because they needed extra legroom for their showers.
Q: Why did Cassie choose The Devil's Right Hand for her inaugural dance with Ennis?
-
Q Why did Cassie choose The Devils Right Hand for her Inaugural dance with
Ennis?
A Because she knew he had just washed his left hand, and he couldnt do any
thing with it.
Q Why did LD, walk bent sideways when he came back from switching the tv
off?
-
Q: Why did LD, walk bent sideways when he came back from switching the tv off?
A: Because stud ducks always swim in circles around their little pond. (Actually he was turning the tv ON, it was Jack who was turning it OFF)
Q: When there is a lightning storm in Lightning Flat do you say it is lightning, or it is lightninging??
-
Q: When there is a lightning storm in Lightning Flat do you say it is lightning, or it is lightninging??
A: You don't say nuthn, ma'm. You wait until you have a flat in Lightning Flat and additionally there's a lightning storm. Then you utter three solemn Yee-Haws in honor of 1) Ennis&Jack, 2) Annie& Ang, 3) Heath&Jake.
Q: What does Fayette Newsome do with her hair at night?
-
Q: What does Fayette Newsome do with her hair at night?
She lets out that tight ass bun, and lets them snakes writhe around a while.
How can it be that "If you don't got nuthin', you don't want nuthin'?"
-
How can it be that "If you don't got nuthin', you don't want nuthin'?"
Because if you already got somethin, you don't need any more of it.
How far is it from Lightnin flat to thunder flat.?
-
How far is it from Lightnin flat to thunder flat.?
Depends on how hot the chilli was.
If you can lead Cigar Butt to water, how come he won't drink?
-
How far is it from Lightnin flat to thunder flat.?
Depends on how hot the chilli was.
If you can lead Cigar Butt to water, how come he won't drink?
It seems to always put out his fire.
Why do Ennis and Jack always drink Old Roses whiskey?
-
Why do Ennis and Jack always drink Old Roses whiskey?
'Cause "Old Tulips" whiskey has too many sexual connotations.
Do ya ever think that Jack & Ennis wore each other's clothes?
-
Do ya ever think that Jack & Ennis wore each other's clothes?
Sure they did, jeans are always going to fit you if you get them
damp enough.
How many times did they have a romp each day?
-
How many times did they have a romp each day?
Dunno, but it ewas often enough they had a plaque made for the tent that said, "Romper Room."
Do eagles eat cooked (by lightnin') sheep?
-
Do eagles eat cooked (by lightnin') sheep?
As long as its not overdone.
Do you prefer to be a talker or a listener?
-
*Bump*
Do you prefer to be a talker or a listener?
Well, Jack was the talker, I'd rather be Jack.
;D
What smells worse than cat piss?
-
Q What smells worse than cat piss?
A Dog piss - if you ask the cat.
Q What was Bobby eating at the T'giving dinner?
-
Q What was Bobby eating at the T'giving dinner?
a bowl of his mother's anger and bitterness.
why did Ennis want round steak?
-
Q why did Ennis want round steak?
A cause the square ones are too expensive
Q why did Alma Jr need crayons?
-
Q why did Alma Jr need crayons?
Because Ennis couldn't afford finger paint.
Where was Jack's blue parka?
-
Q Where was Jack's blue parka?
A Parked down the road at the parkaing meter.
Q Why didn't Jack like beans?
-
Q Why didn't Jack like beans?
They made him sick! He was "sick of beans!"
Why did the cat piss in the tent?
-
Q Why did the cat piss in the tent?
A Jack had forgotten to bring the litterbox.
Q What was the supper that was on the stove?
-
Q What was the supper that was on the stove?
Shit on a shingle!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chipped_beef
Q: Did Ennis sing at the church picnic?
-
Q: Did Ennis sing at the church picnic?
A No, he just drummed with a stick on a brimstone.
Q Why did Alma marry Monroe?
-
can I join in........
Q Why did Alma marry Monroe?
A: Cause he was so good at picking up coffee jars.
Q: Why did Jack grow a moustach?
-
Q: Why did Jack grow a moustach?
A: He needed a 'flavor saver'. ;D
Q: Why did Alma Jr. fall for a roughneck?
-
can I join in........
Of course you can. Welcome, Sue!
Q: Why did Alma Jr. fall for a roughneck?
A Coz there weren't any gay cowboys around to fall in love with.
Q Why did Lureen dye her hair blonder and blonder?
-
Q Why did Lureen dye her hair blonder and blonder?
A: She wanted to have the most fun possible.
Q: Why didn't Jenny talk more in the film?
-
Q: Why didn't Jenny talk more in the film?
A She had bad breath and was afraid to open her mouth.
Q Why didn't Lureen breast feed Bobby?
-
Q Why didn't Lureen breast feed Bobby?
A: Because that milk was gonna be there for more than the next two weeks!
Q: If Jack was as bad as Bobby at losing stuff, what did Bobby lose?
-
Q: If Jack was as bad as Bobby at losing stuff, what did Bobby lose?
A: His nerve-wracking voice in puberty, thank god.
Q: What did Jack lose, despite his blue parka?
-
Q: What did Jack lose, despite his blue parka?
A: His mind, after dealing with Ennis, Lureen and Bobby all those years!
Q: Why did Ma Twist like cherry cake?
-
Q: Why did Ma Twist like cherry cake?
A: Because on their first date, pa Twist fed her cherries that he had dipped in truffle chocolate. Afterwards they made love infront of the fire place.
Q: Why is the Twist house painted white?
-
Q: Why is the Twist house painted white?
A To make the pigeon shit less visible. (there were thousands of pigeons in the house. they all got scared and flew away when we came)
Q Why was LD such an ass hole?
-
Q Why was LD such an ass hole?
A Because he suffered from Lost D**k Syndrome (it's not exactly ass hole!). And that's how he come to get his initials, too!
Q When does the wind stop blowing in Wyoming?
-
Q When does the wind stop blowing in Wyoming?
A When Ennis finally decides to go for the sweet life with Jack.
Q What does Carl usually talk about?
-
Q What does Carl usually talk about?
A: Hair, make-up, fashion....the usual.
Q: what was the count of the sheep supposed to be?
-
Q: what was the count on the sheep supposed to be ?
A: Dunno! Everyone who tried to count 'em fell asleep !
Q: How big was that potato at the start that Jack was concentrating on peeling ? !
-
Q: How big was that potato at the start that Jack was concentrating on peeling ? !
A: About the size of an apple. ;)
Q: How many jars of peanuts did Alma Jr. break?
-
A new player!
Welcome to this silly and fun game, Suely! ;D
Q: How many jars of peanuts did Alma Jr. break?
A Enough of them to draw Monroe's attention and make him come and volunteer to clean them up.
Q Why didn't Ennis want to shoot one of them sheep?
-
Q Why didn't Ennis want to shoot one of them sheep?
A. Cause he knew people were watching...like they knew
Q. How did Aguirre celebrate Christmas?
-
A. Cause he knew people were watching...like they knew
Q. How did Aguirre celebrate Christmas?
A: He sold his kids some presents !!
Q: Where did Jack find his blue parka ?
-
Q: Where did Jack find his blue parka ?
In the parkanspot, of course
Q: Who drove the semi truck that brought Ennis to Signal?
-
Q: Who drove the semi truck that brought Ennis to Signal?
A: Fate
Q: Who sold Aguirre the binoculars?
-
Q: Who sold Aguirre the binoculars?
A: Alma !
Q:What would happen if Jack lost the can opener ? !
-
Q:What would happen if Jack lost the can opener ? !
A: Well, that's easy. No more beans!
Q: Why did Monroe let the girls watch figure skating?
-
Q: Why did Monroe let the girls watch figure skating?
A To keep them busy while he made neverending plans for new and fantastic displays of peanut jars.
Q Why did Bobby want to watch football instead of eating turkey?
-
Q Why did Bobby want to watch football instead of eating turkey?
A: Because he was gonna be eating that food for the next two weeks.
Q: If the shortest distance between two locations is a straight line, is the reason it took Jack & Ennis so long to get to each other the fact that they weren't straight?
-
Q: If the shortest distance between two locations is a straight line, is the reason it took Jack & Ennis so long to get to each other the fact that they weren't straight?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
-
A: Because he was gonna be eating that food for the next two weeks.
Q: If the shortest distance between two locations is a straight line, is the reason it took Jack & Ennis so long to get to each other the fact that they weren't straight?
huh ? !
-
Q: If the shortest distance between two locations is a straight line, is the reason it took Jack & Ennis so long to get to each other the fact that they weren't straight?
A No, the reason is they weren't cold and drunk enough earlier.
Q When did LaShawn stop talking?
-
Q: If the shortest distance between two locations is a straight line, is the reason it took Jack & Ennis so long to get to each other the fact that they weren't straight?
A No, the reason is they weren't cold and drunk enough earlier.
Q When did LaShawn stop talking?
She hasn't!
Who was Aguirre talking to on the phnoe?
-
Who was Aguirre talking to on the phnoe?
A: Hid drug dealer.
Q: Why did the Basque leave the Basque Provinces for Wyoming?
Ooh what fun! Thanks for reviving the thread, Chuck! :-*
-
Q: Why did the Basque leave the Basque Provinces for Wyoming?
'Cause he was roamin' to Wyomin'!
Why put a boot in the fire?
-
Why put a boot in the fire?
A: A misguided attempt to dry it when it's wet.
Q: Why does Aguirre walk like he'd peed himself?
-
because he did!
Did the squatting sheep ever get to relieve himself?
-
Did the squatting sheep ever get to relieve himself?
A: Not yet, still waiting (poor sheep)
Q: Why didn't Ennis have more furniture in the trailer?
-
Q: Why didn't Ennis have more furniture in the trailer?
A: Because his interior designer told him small rooms appear bigger when sparsely furnished.
Q: Why did the mare throw Jack?
-
Q: Why did the mare throw Jack?
Because he farted in the saddle.
Why did the Basque insist on meeting at the bridge?
-
Why did the Basque insist on meeting at the bridge?
A: because he was a closeted bridgeophile
Q: what was the names of the dumbass mules?
-
Q: what was the names of the dumbass mules?
A: Dumb and Ass
why did Lureen's hair keep getting blonder?
-
why did Lureen's hair keep getting blonder?
A: she was a closeted albino
Q: what was in Bobby's bowl?
-
gru
Q: what was in Bobby's bowl?
gruel.
what is the elevation of Brokeback Mountain
-
what is the elevation of Brokeback Mountain
A: as high as cloud nine
Q: what's the Basque's name?
-
A: as high as cloud nine
Good one!
Q: what's the Basque's name?
A: David Trimble
Q: Why did the tent not look right?
-
Q: Why did the tent not look right?
because it looked a tad.....feminine. ;)
Where did the Chilean sheep come from?
-
Where did the Chilean sheep come from?
A: Australia
Q: Why was the Basque out of spuds and powdered milk?
-
Q: Why was the Basque out of spuds and powdered milk?
because he had other calls to make, and got to Jack & Ennis last.
why did the tent smell like cat piss?
-
why did the tent smell like cat piss?
A: because armani had been trying out their latest (not successful) male perfume on it
Q: why did bobby have problems in school?
-
Q: why did bobby have problems in school?
because he just didn't care
What did the girls think when they saw Jack?
-
What did the girls think when they saw Jack?
A: "who the hell is he?"
Q: why did LaShawn never stop talking?
-
Q: why did LaShawn never stop talking?
Her off button was stuck.
Why don't husbands never want to dance with their wives?
-
Why don't husbands never want to dance with their wives?
A: because their wives talk too much
Q: why didn't Alma want any more of Ennis' kids?
-
Q: why didn't Alma want any more of Ennis' kids?
A: because she wasn't a clown car.
Q: Why didn't Fayette talk more in the movie?
-
(what's a clown car?)
Q: Why didn't Fayette talk more in the movie?
A: Because she had very bad breath. They asked her to keep her mouth shut
Q: Why didn't Lureen breast feed?
-
(what's a clown car?)
An old circus bit, a car pulls into the ring, and a large amount of clowns comes out of it.
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dES_WYUFPZw[/youtube]
Q: Why didn't Lureen breast feed?
Her breasts were as fake as her hair.
Why did Ennis like lonesome ranches?
-
Ok, thx.
Why did Ennis like lonesome ranches?
A: No one to interfere with his daydreams about Jack.
Q: Why did Jenny have asthma?
-
Q: Why did Jenny have asthma?
Second hand smoke
-
Good answer!
What's your question?
-
LMAO!
Can't believe I forgot that part! Sorry.
Why didn't the Del Mar girls have a pet?
-
Why didn't the Del Mar girls have a pet?
A: all their extra money was used for Ennis' horses
Q: why was Aguirre such an asshole?
-
Q: why was Aguirre such an asshole?
I thought he was a whole ass.
why invite your ex to Thanksgiving?
-
why invite your ex to Thanksgiving?
A: because he wouldn't invite you
Q: what kind of food do they serve at the Knife and fork?
-
Q: what kind of food do they serve at the Knife and fork?
soup.
if you had an extra hand, would you really just wipe a nose with it?
-
soup. :laugh:
if you had an extra hand, would you really just wipe a nose with it?
A: nope, I would use it to type on the keyboard and eat simultaneously!
Q: did Ennes ever take the girls to town and give them ice cream like he said?
-
Q: did Ennes ever take the girls to town and give them ice cream like he said?
No....ice cream causes mucous, so more noses to wipe if he did.
Q: why did you spell Ennis' name with two "E"s?
(runs from Sonja)
-
Q: why did you spell Ennis' name with two "E"s?
(runs from Sonja)
A: because my "I" got stuck. But here it is!!! *throws "I" at Chuck*
Q: why don't you run faster?
-
A: because my "I" got stuck. But here it is!!! *throws "I" at Chuck*
Q: why don't you run faster?
because I don't need to.
*stops and stands as the "I" passes by*
Why don't you have better aim?
-
Now, now kids. Play nice. ;)
-
Now, now kids. Play nice. ;)
:laugh:
-
Why don't you have better aim?
A: because I don't have to. The "I" is hidden at your place, it will surprise you when you least expect it!
Q: are there any zombies on Brokeback Mountain?
-
Q: are there any zombies on Brokeback Mountain?
Nope, too far from civilization.
why was there ice-dancing on tv on Thanksgiving?
-
why was there ice-dancing on tv on Thanksgiving?
A: People need to cool off after all that turkey and family drama.
Q: Is Monroe really as stupid as he seems to be?
-
Q: Is Monroe really as stupid as he seems to be?
Nope, he's trying to trick Ennis.
Is Monroe good in bed?
-
Is Monroe good in bed?
A: No, he's too busy with his grocery store to have time for sex.
Q: Did Junior and Jenny have a hobby?
-
Q: Did Junior and Jenny have a hobby?
They followed Daddy's footsteps, and castrate calves.
Did everyone have a cherry cake recipe?
-
Did everyone have a cherry cake recipe?
A: Nope. Cherry cake recipes are well guarded secrets, only Ma Twist had one.
Q: Who did Lureens hair?
-
Q: Who did Lureens hair?
Lureen's hair dresser
Who wants to see Brokeback again?
-
Who wants to see Brokeback again?
A: the brokies, but we're waiting for a special edition.
Q: why is Jack tired of beans?
-
Q: why is Jack tired of beans?
because he's tired of farts.
Why can't Jack shoot straight?
-
Why can't Jack shoot straight?
A: because he can't control when the gun's going off
Q: why didn't uncle Harold die after all?
-
Q: why didn't uncle Harold die after all?
he's more stubborn than a mule
Why must Jack be in the family plot?
-
Why must Jack be in the family plot?
A: because OMT has plotted against him all his life
Q: why did Ma Twist always bake cherry cakes?
-
Q: why did Ma Twist always bake cherry cakes?
it was the only way she could give her cherry away.
Why were the Twist chairs purple?
-
Why were the Twist chairs purple?
A: because LD hated that colour. It was Jack's revenge.
Q: why does LD walk sideways like a crab?
-
Q: why does LD walk sideways like a crab?
He's too wide for doorways.
Why does Cassie wear those shoes if her feet hurt?
-
Why does Cassie wear those shoes if her feet hurt?
A: they're required by her evil boss
Q: why does she want to become a nurse?
-
Q: why does she want to become a nurse?
she likes to give people enemas.
How come husbands don't dance with their wives?
-
How come husbands don't dance with their wives?
A: the husbands in question would rather dance with each other
Q: who's Aguirre talking to on the phone?
-
Q: who's Aguirre talking to on the phone?
His Avon representative. Man, he feels like a woman!
Why go blonde?
-
Why go blonde?
A: she was never interested in blue, orange or green
Q: why did Ennis decline the cherry cake?
-
Q: why did Ennis decline the cherry cake?
He had already had Jack's cherry.
when they took the tent, where did the cats piss?
-
when they took the tent, where did the cats piss?
A: up in a tree
Q: why didn't Ennis want to work at the power plant?
-
Q: why didn't Ennis want to work at the power plant?
he was worried about static electricity
did Ennis & Jack celebrate the 4th of July?
-
did Ennis & Jack celebrate the 4th of July?
A: no, they were too busy stemming the rose
Q: how many sheep did they have up on brokeback?
-
Q: how many sheep did they have up on brokeback?
too many!
What did Jenny sing at the wedding?
-
What did Jenny sing at the wedding?
A: The beautiful traditional wedding song Manamana
Q: What did they eat at the wedding?
-
Q: What did they eat at the wedding?
(http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g116/CellarDweller115/smilies%20for%20forum/food%20for%20diner/aliceflyingthing.jpg)
What song was picked for the first dance?
-
(http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g116/CellarDweller115/smilies%20for%20forum/food%20for%20diner/aliceflyingthing.jpg)
;D ;)
What song was picked for the first dance?
A:
Q: Who caught the flowers when Junior threw them?
-
Q: Who caught the flowers when Junior threw them?
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/7/9/20/enhanced-buzz-2583-1373414778-0.jpg)
what did the wedding cake look like?
-
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/7/9/20/enhanced-buzz-2583-1373414778-0.jpg)
who dat?
what did the wedding cake look like?
A:
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ca/bb/18/cabb181c27992d91b1d16b452117dd63.jpg)
Q: what did Junior's dress look like?
-
who dat?
Wanda, a character from the TV show In Living Color.
Q: what did Junior's dress look like?
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c9/92/40/c99240a12d298cf7951d2df9b717764c.jpg)
What did the happy preacher charge for the service?
-
What did the happy preacher charge for the service?
A: a promise from Junior to burn that dress!
Q: what did Ennis wear for the wedding?
-
Q: what did Ennis wear for the wedding?
(http://www.dobell.com/media/catalog/product/cache/9/small_image/215x341/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/j/n/jn2smd5os2.jpg)
where did Ennis & Alma honeymoon?
-
where did Ennis & Alma honeymoon?
A:
(https://reddesertfiles.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/red-desert-cover.jpg)
Q: what did Junior's ring look like?
-
Q: what did Junior's ring look like?
(http://www.partycity.com/images/products/en_us/gateways/candy-2015/candy-by-type/candy-by-type-ring-pops.jpg)
where is the turn in the road that Ennis' parents missed?
-
where is the turn in the road that Ennis' parents missed?
A:
Here:
(https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/hrnlskurva-i-ken-50657283.jpg)
Q: why did Ennis piss in the sink?
-
Q: why did Ennis piss in the sink?
the toilet scared him.
(http://i0.wp.com/theverybesttop10.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Top-10-Scariest-Halloween-toilets-and-Scary-Toilet-Covers-8.jpg?resize=510%2C650)
who was the best man?
-
who was the best man?
A: Kurt's best friend
(http://www.uneed2know.eu/general-photos/articles/blob-fish-.jpg)
Q: what was the mother of the bride wearing?
-
Q: what was the mother of the bride wearing?
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/04_03/mormumAP1504_468x346.jpg)
What was Alma's favorite bridal gift?
-
What was Alma's favorite bridal gift?
A:
(https://img1.etsystatic.com/101/0/5475544/il_340x270.923322241_nque.jpg)
She loved this table cloth. Her only regret was that the names and the date were completely wrong.
Q:
What did Jenny sing at the wedding?
-
Q:
What did Jenny sing at the wedding?
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ud7eKyPfW3s[/youtube]
how many calves has Ennis castrated?
-
how many calves has Ennis castrated?
A: enough to make him never want to do it again
Q: did Cassie ever go to nursing school?
-
Nah, she dropped out, and went to bar tending school.
Q: Did Lureen ever set up a meeting with Bobby's teacher?
-
Q: Did Lureen ever set up a meeting with Bobby's teacher?
A: Yes she did, but the teacher was drunk and never showed up.
Q: Why didn't Ennis want the job at the power plant?
-
Q: Why didn't Ennis want the job at the power plant?
he didn't want to be shocked!
who were Alma Jr's and Jenny's favorite figure skaters?
-
who were Alma Jr's and Jenny's favorite figure skaters?
A: the one in the green dress
Q: how come it only took Lureen 3 hours to cook the turkey?
-
Q: how come it only took Lureen 3 hours to cook the turkey?
A: She was already married to him.
-
A: She was already married to him.
lol Ohhh! you didn't ask a question.
-
lol Ohhh! you didn't ask a question.
Naw, I couldn't think of one.
-
Ok, then I'll ask......
On what grounds did Alma divorce Ennis?
-
A: She was already married to him.
According to Chuck it's funny, but I don't get it. Does turkey also mean husband?
On what grounds did Alma divorce Ennis?
A: She was tired of the back entry game he was playing with her.
Q: How come Monroe was still not married?
-
Q: How come Monroe was still not married?
He was taking advice from the Supremes.
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI-VQGTE2Bw[/youtube]
-
Any question?
-
Q: around the fire, did Ennis & Jack tell ghost stories?
-
Q: around the fire, did Ennis & Jack tell ghost stories?
A: no, their lives were enough scary already
Q: why was LaShawn such a chatterbox?
-
Q: why was LaShawn such a chatterbox?
her tongue was hung in the middle, so it could wag at both ends.
Q: what kind of name is Fayette?
-
Q: what kind of name is Fayette?
A: an ugly name
Q: what's LD's real name?
-
Q: what's LD's real name?
Long Dong!
Q: What is KE's real name?
-
Q: What is KE's real name?
A: KennEth
Q: Why did Junior quit Troy?
-
Q: Why did Junior quit Troy?
He reminded her to much like her dad.
why does Ennis pee in the sink?
-
He reminded her to much like her dad.
why does Ennis pee in the sink?
Because he doesn't have a pot to piss in.
Why does Jack ride more than bulls instead of rollin' his own?
-
Why does Jack ride more than bulls instead of rollin' his own?
Because he ain't good with a can opener, so imagine trying to roll his own?
who was the better cook, Jack or Ennis?
-
who was the better cook, Jack or Ennis?
A: they were equally bad, coz there was no spuds or powdered milk
Q: how can one turkey last for two weeks?
-
Q: how can one turkey last for two weeks?
A. Well, Monroe lasted a lifetime. ...
Q. How come husbands don't never want a dance with their wives?
-
because husbands never wanna do nuthin' with their wives.
Q: do condiments prevent babies?
-
Q: do condiments prevent babies?
A: yes, if you keep them between your knees
Q: what else prevents babies?
-
Q: what else prevents babies?
A: Doing it the way Ennis likes to do it.
Q: How can you tell if a line has never touched water in its life?
-
it is bone dry!
Q:do cowpokes really poke cows?
-
Q:do cowpokes really poke cows?
A: no, they prefer to yell at them
Q: why did it take so long to untangle them chilean sheep?
-
Q:do cowpokes really poke cows?
A: Only when there aren't any other cowpokes around.
Q: Why should you roll up your tent every morning?
-
Q: Why should you roll up your tent every morning?
You don't want creepy crawlies getting into your tent while you're gone!
Q: Did Jack and Ennis rename their horses?
-
Q: Did Jack and Ennis rename their horses?
A: no, it's considered bad luck
Q: why did it take so long to untangle them chilean sheep?
-
Q: why did it take so long to untangle them chilean sheep?
A: Because the sheep didn't want to be untangled.
Q: Why should you stick your boot in the fire when you sit next to a campfire?
-
It helps keep the feet warm!
Q: how many dogs were up on the mountain?
-
Q: how many dogs were up on the mountain?
A: as many as they brought up with them
Q: what happened to the dead sheep after Ennis found it?
-
it went to sheep Heaven
what happened to the food the mules scattered everywhere?
-
what happened to the food the mules scattered everywhere?
A: the bear ate it
Q: where did Aguirre buy the binoculars?
-
the peeping tom shop!
Q: why was it cherry cake?
-
Q: why was it cherry cake?
A: Because Mrs. Twist was all out of Mincemeat.
Q: Why did they stack all those glass jars in the condiments aisle like a pyramid for?
-
to recreate the fall of the Egyptian empire!
Q: how long does it take to castrate a calf?
-
Q: how long does it take to castrate a calf?
A: a couple of days, including herding it to where it's happening
Q: why did Cassie want to dance with Ennis?
-
to see his moves
Q: where were Ennis' moves?
-
Q: where were Ennis' moves?
A: he didn't have any
Q: did Ennis and Cassie ever have sex?
-
of course! She didn't stay because of his conversation skills!
Q: did Jack really flatten his harmonica?
-
Q: did Jack really flatten his harmonica?
A: no, he just used it as an excuse for his lousy music
Q: why did the pup tent smell like cat piss? shouldn't it smell like pup piss?
-
Q: why did the pup tent smell like cat piss? shouldn't it smell like pup piss?
A: Because last year Jack tried his luck with a little kitty instead of a puppy. Didn't work out...
Q: How is a place "Ennis, TX" related to the movie?????? Does the real Ennis live there?
-
Q: How is a place "Ennis, TX" related to the movie?????? Does the real Ennis live there?
A: After Jack's death, Ennis founded the town as a place for lonely cowboys to go.
Q: How did the lightning kill so many sheep?
-
Q: How did the lightning kill so many sheep?
A: Because the evil Old Twist - living in Lightning Flat - can control the weather and he was totally pissed with Jack getting a job somewhere else.
Q: Why does Alma Jr. wear rubber boots at home?
-
Q: Why does Alma Jr. wear rubber boots at home?
Because mama is so busy mopping up after Ennis, she needs them to keep her feet dry!
Why was Junior and Jenny watching figure skating at Thanksgiving?
-
Why was Junior and Jenny watching figure skating at Thanksgiving?
A: Because it's Monroe's favorite sports.
Q: Did Alma Jr drink and drive???
-
Q: Did Alma Jr drink and drive???
No, because Alma Sr. drove her to drink!
Did anyone ever find the food the mule threw?
-
Did anyone ever find the food the mule threw?
A: Yup, the bear!
Q: What did Jack put into the beans for Ennis to enjoy them so much? (Ennis: "Mmm..")
-
Q: What did Jack put into the beans for Ennis to enjoy them so much? (Ennis: "Mmm..")
A: His love! :laugh:
Q: why did Alma Jr. need more crayons?
-
Q: why did Alma Jr. need more crayons?
A: She had to paint that beach while Ennis was waiting for Jack!
Q: So, where did Ennis run off after receiving Jack's first postcard??
-
Q: So, where did Ennis run off after receiving Jack's first postcard??
A: To the drug store for lube. After 4 years, he didn't want to rely on spit.
Q: Why didn't the guys wear sneakers? Why always boots?
-
Q: Why didn't the guys wear sneakers? Why always boots?
A: Pff, cause they're REAL cowboys?? Anyway, guess Ennis could not afford any anyway.... I mean, look at his brown jacket - he's wearing it for 15 years at least! Besides, they are stuck in Brokeback days - it's all they've got! Bet they would look the same even in 2017.
Q: Why was Ennis wearing that brown jacket for at least 15 years? 8)
-
Q: Why was Ennis wearing that brown jacket for at least 15 years? 8)
A: He doesn't follow fashion trends.
Q: Where was Jack's parka?
-
Q: Where was Jack's parka?
A: I'm hundred percent positive Ennis took it because he loved Jack so much. He took it home and put it inside his brown jacket that he had more than 15 years because he doesn't follow fashion trends and he carefully worked the sleeves down inside his' jackets' - the pair like two skins, one inside the other, two in one. He was so proud of himself for having that idea, nobody else could ever pulled off such a thing.
Errr.... ::)
Q: What in heaven was Jack doing in the tent before Ennis came over to cuddle?? ;D
-
Q: What in heaven was Jack doing in the tent before Ennis came over to cuddle?? ;D
A: You don't wanna know!
Q: Did Bobby ever get a tutor?
-
A: You don't wanna know!
Hey, CellarDweller, you're not playing nice tse-tse. I could also reply with "Good question, i wonder!" every time :D. That one above is a nice example of a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation.
Do you want to try again?
-
Hey, CellarDweller, you're not playing nice tse-tse. I could also reply with "Good question, i wonder!" every time :D. That one above is a nice example of a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation.
Do you want to try again?
::)
A: He was having a satisfactory time, satisfying himself!
Q: Did Bobby ever get a tutor?
-
A: He was having a satisfactory time, satisfying himself!
Q: Did Bobby ever get a tutor?
Thanks for playing, now i'm happy! :)
A: I thought Bobby did not need any tutor. LD sure enough told him everything he needed to know - especially how to eat not with his eyes!
Q: What was Jack musing about in the tent when Ennis came over to cuddle? [he he he he] ;D
-
Q: What was Jack musing about in the tent when Ennis came over to cuddle? [he he he he] ;D
A: Whether or not it would all fit in.
Q: What was Alma thinking when she looked out the door and saw Ennis & Jack?
-
Q: What was Alma thinking when she looked out the door and saw Ennis & Jack?
A: HUUUUUUH, THAT WAS H---O---T!!!!!! Watch and learn.... Where are my smokes??
Q: What does "L.D." (Newsome) stand for?
-
Q: What does "L.D." (Newsome) stand for?
A: Low Down Newsome!
Q: Does Bobby sell farm equipment now?
-
Q: Does Bobby sell farm equipment now?
CellarDweller, since i'm not a native-English speaker i have to confess that i had to look it up. Here's what i found!
Do we count this as answer to your question? Because i think i just found out what Bobby is doing - but i'm not sure he is selling farm equip!! :laugh:
-
Q: Who is Greg??? :laugh:
-
CellarDweller, since i'm not a native-English speaker i have to confess that i had to look it up. Here's what i found!
Do we count this as answer to your question? Because i think i just found out what Bobby is doing - but i'm not sure he is selling farm equip!! :laugh:
Apparently there is a difference between "Low down" and "Lowdown". My post had a space between the two words, and the meaning for that is mean and unfair.
-
Q: Who is Greg??? :laugh:
A: perhaps another rodeo clown?
Q: Did Junior ever get her crayons?
-
Q: Did Junior ever get her crayons?
A: No, she found wreaking havoc in the store much more entertaining.
Q: Were Alma and Ennis seated at the same table at Junior and Kurt’s wedding reception?
-
Q: Were Alma and Ennis seated at the same table at Junior and Kurt’s wedding reception?
A: Yes, this way they were able to whisper sweet insults to each other.
Q: Does the basque bask in the sun?
-
Q: Does the basque bask in the sun?
A: He ain’t got time for that; Ennis and Jack jack him around.
Q: We know why Army didn’t get Jack. Why didn’t it get Ennis, though?
-
Q: We know why Army didn’t get Jack. Why didn’t it get Ennis, though?
A: He was too busy castratin' calves!
Q: Why does Pa Twist look so damn angry?
-
Q: Why does Pa Twist look so damn angry?
A: Coz he can't insult and mistreat Jack anymore :(
Q: Who picked the cherries for the cherry cake?
-
Q: Who picked the cherries for the cherry cake?
A: George Washington, after he chopped down the cherry tree.
Q: Did Ennis carry around condiments?
-
Q: Did Ennis carry around condiments?
A: No, just condoms.
Q: Why was Alma tired of these old ranches?
-
Q: Why was Alma tired of these old ranches?
A. She wanted a newer, more modern ranch.
Q. Did Lureen ever talk to Bobby's teacher?
-
Q. Did Lureen ever talk to Bobby's teacher?
A. Yes, and the teacher told her Bobby was allergic to hair bleach, which caused his learning problems.
Q. Was Bobby conceived in the car?
-
Q. Was Bobby conceived in the car?
A. No, because Jack wore a condiment.
Q. Does the stud duck cut the duck?
-
Q. Does the stud duck cut the duck?
A. No, the stud duck cuts the turkey, and the stud turkey cuts the duck.
Q. Is the stud duck cut or uncut?
-
Q. Is the stud duck cut or uncut?
A. Truthfully, I don't want to know!
Q. Does Junior use crayons for her make-up?
-
Q. Does Junior use crayons for her make-up?
A. No, her mama never bought her any after she pushed over all those jars.
Q. Why did Ennis tuck down his shirt before he ran down the stairs to meet Jack?
-
Q. Why did Ennis tuck down his shirt before he ran down the stairs to meet Jack?
A. He didn't want to trip over the tail!
Q. Wasn't Bobby young to drive the tractor?
-
Q. Wasn't Bobby young to drive the tractor?
A. It's America, where cars are holy and even young kids are allowed to drive.
Q. How come Jack can't open a can properly?
-
Q. How come Jack can't open a can properly?
A. He likes to use his hands for other things!
Q. What does Jack keep under his hat?
-
Q. What does Jack keep under his hat?
A. His head
Q. Why did L D want the car back by midnight?
-
Q. Why did L D want the car back by midnight?
A. He didn't want it to turn into a pumpkin
Q. Did Ennis really fly through the air?
-
Q. Did Ennis really fly through the air?
A. Oh yes. With a little help from whisky and pot.
Q. Why are there no kitties in the movie?
-
Q. Why are there no kitties in the movie?
A. Because Ennis and Jack didn't like pussy cats!
Q. Did they have condiments up on Brokeback?
-
Q. Did they have condiments up on Brokeback?
A. Condiment - schmondiment. They had each other, isn't that good enough?!
Q. Did Ennis have grandkids?
-
Q. Did Ennis have grandkids?
A. Since Jr. was never pregnant, I would say 'no'.
Q. Will Jack ever be the 'stud duck'?
-
Q. Will Jack ever be the 'stud duck'?
A. Quack quack.
Q. Why did Ennis tell Alma they were fishin buddies?
-
Q. Why did Ennis tell Alma they were fishin buddies?
A. Because "Butt buddies" was too graphic.
Q. What did Alma think when she first opened that apartment door?
-
Q. What did Alma think when she first opened that apartment door?
A. "Why is Ennis biting his friend in the face?"
Q. Why did Monroe use an electric knife for the turkey?
-
Q. Why did Monroe use an electric knife for the turkey?
A. Because Alma cooked it to death!
Q. Why was the family watching figure skating after the meal?
-
Q. Why was the family watching figure skating after the meal?
A. Because they were too full to go skating themselves.
Q. Why didn't Monroe do the dishes?
-
Q. Why didn't Monroe do the dishes?
A. It was the 70s, men didn't do dishes then!
Q. Was Randall a top or bottom?
-
Q. Was Randall a top or bottom?
A. His favourite position was in the middle, but he seldom got to do that.
Q. How many men had Randall invited to Lake Kemp before Jack?
-
Q. How many men had Randall invited to Lake Kemp before Jack?
A. Let's just say it wasn't his first time at the rodeo.
Q. Whatever happened to the basque?
-
Q. Whatever happened to the basque?
A. He quit Aguirre and went on to play basquet ball.
Q. Who called Aguirre on the phone?
-
Q. Who called Aguirre on the phone?
A. It was Lureen's dad. He kept saying "Who? Who is this?"
Q. Are Bettermost Beans near the condiment aisle?
-
Q. Are Bettermost Beans near the condiment aisle?
A. Nope, they only exist up on the mountain.
Q. Why was the Basque out of spuds and milk powder?
-
Q. Why was the Basque out of spuds and milk powder?
A. He gave his wife a special "spa" bath.
Q. Did Ennis really come upon a bear, or was it bigfoot?
-
Q. Did Ennis really come upon a bear, or was it bigfoot?
A. Of course he came upon a bear! He really had to contain himself to stay faithful to Jack!
Q. How come it only took Lureen 3 hours to cook t-giving dinner?
-
Q. How come it only took Lureen 3 hours to cook t-giving dinner?
A. Because she catered part of it.
Q. Why doesn't Fayette say more?
-
Q. Why doesn't Fayette say more?
A. Because she has bad breath and is afraid to open her mouth
Q. Why does Bobby eat something other than turkey?
-
Q. Why does Bobby eat something other than turkey?
A. Because Bobby can't live on turkey alone!
Q. Why are soup boxes hard to pack?
-
Q. Why are soup boxes hard to pack?
A. Coz the soup will leak when the dumbass mules run off
Q. Why didn't Jack catch the car keys that L D threw at him?
-
Q. Why didn't Jack catch the car keys that L D threw at him?
A. He didn't want to touch ANYTHING that belonged to LD.
Q. Why was the jolly minister so jolly?
-
Q. Why was the jolly minister so jolly?
A. He had tried being gay, jocund, jovial, merry and mirthful; but found that jolly suited him best.
Q. Why is the name of the mountain Brokeback?
-
Q. Why is the name of the mountain Brokeback?
A. Jack and Ennis weren't the first cowboy couple up there, and there were injuries.
Q. How many peanuts were on the floor after Alma Jr. knocked them over?
-
Q. Are Bettermost Beans near the condiment aisle?
No, they are an entrée!
Q. What actually was the Pentacost?
-
Q. How many peanuts were on the floor after Alma Jr. knocked them over?
A. Exactly 13 498 peanuts. 174 of them had split into halves.
Q. Why did Lureen die her hair?
-
Q. Why did Lureen die her hair?
A. Because blondes have more fun!
Q. Did Jack ever sell any farm equipment?
-
Q. Did Jack ever sell any farm equipment?
A. Sure, he sold a spade once!
Q. Did Kurt and Junior stay together?
-
Q. Did Kurt and Junior stay together?
A. Sure!
Q. What did Munroe and Alma name the baby?
-
Q. What did Munroe and Alma name the baby?
A. Almoe, a combo of their names.
Q. How many smokes did Alma find in Ennis's top pocket?
-
Q. How many smokes did Alma find in Ennis's top pocket?
A. None! He gave them all to Jack!
Q. What else did Ennis give Jack?
-
Q. What else did Ennis give Jack?
A. His heart, such as it was
Q. Why did Junior need crayons all of a sudden?
-
Q. Why did Junior need crayons all of a sudden?
A. She had a SERIOUS need to color!
Q. What kind of car was Jr. driving at the end of the movie?
-
Q. What kind of car was Jr. driving at the end of the movie?
A. The kind with four wheels under it and one inside of it.
Q. Why didn't Ennis want to go someplace warmer with Jack?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis want to go someplace warmer with Jack?
A. No A/C in the tent!
Q. Why doesn't Jack like the cold?
-
Q. Why doesn't Jack like the cold?
A. Coz he's freezing his ass off, and that takes away from the fun of being with Ennis.
Q. Why didn't Ennis want no cherry cake?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis want no cherry cake?
A. He's allergic to cherry.
Q. Why didn't Ma Twist make an apple pie?
-
Q. Why didn't Ma Twist make an apple pie?
A. Apples reminded her of a bigass coyote's balls
Q. Why was OMT so mean?
-
Q. Why was OMT so mean?
A. Because he never found his own Ennis.
Q. Who did Lureen's hair?
-
Q. Who did Lureen's hair?
A. L D. It was their own little secret. L D always regretted that he didn't become a ladie's hairdresser in his youth.
Q. What did the cowboy who saw Ennis throw up think?
-
Q. What did the cowboy who saw Ennis throw up think?
A. That Ennis had drunk too much recently.
Q. If Jack let Bobby drive farm equipment, did he let him drive cars?
-
Q. If Jack let Bobby drive farm equipment, did he let him drive cars?
A. Nope, too easy. Farm equipment was more of a challenge to him.
Q. Why did the Basque leave the Basque Provinces for America?
-
Q. Why did the Basque leave the Basque Provinces for America?
A. It was his dream to dole out supplies to gay cowboys.
Q. What did Monroe and Alma name their baby?
-
Q. What did Monroe and Alma name their baby?
A. They made up the name Almo.
Q. Did they have more children?
-
Q. Did they have more children?
A. If they did, they kept it hidden!
Q. What was Alma Jr.'s and Kurt's wedding song?
-
Q. What was Alma Jr.'s and Kurt's wedding song?
A. Itsy bitsy spider
Q. Did Junior and Kurt have any kitties?
-
Q. Did Junior and Kurt have any kitties?
A. No, you can't herd cats.
Q. Did Lureen have a lifetime supply of calculate paper?
-
Q. Did Lureen have a lifetime supply of calculate paper?
A. Oh no, she bought a new packet every week.
Q. Was The Knife and Fork a good restaurant?
-
Q. Was The Knife and Fork a good restaurant?
A. Depends on what you mean by "good".
Q. what happens at the church social?
-
Q. what happens at the church social?
A. You know what happens! :o :o :o :o :o :o :o I'm glad our English friend has survived so far!!!
Q. Why isn't Junior seeing Troy any more?
-
Q. Why isn't Junior seeing Troy any more?
A. Because Troy's been to Brokeback!
Q. Why did Jr. want to marry Kurt?
-
Q. Why did Jr. want to marry Kurt?
A. Coz he had a nice car!
Q. Why did Junior need crayons?
-
Q. Why did Junior need crayons?
A. Because she was in a serious mood!
Q. Does that answer mean that Alma Jr.'s middle name was Katherine?
-
Q. Does that answer mean that Alma Jr.'s middle name was Katherine?
A. No, her middle name was Ennisine
Q. Who gave Lureen the turquise necklace she's wearing at t-giving?
-
Q. Who gave Lureen the turquise necklace she's wearing at t-giving?
A. An old Native American hunter, named Chief Runs FromBrokeback.
Q. What was the name of Munroe's store?
-
Q. What was the name of Munroe's store?
A. "Munroe and his excellent groceries"
Q. Did Monroe know how to go about things in the bedroom, or did Alma have to teach him?
-
Q. Did Monroe know how to go about things in the bedroom, or did Alma have to teach him?
A. She had to teach him, that's why she looked so pissy at the Thanksgiving table.
Q. Was Jenny mute?
-
Q. Was Jenny mute?
A. Between her asthma spells and her singing, she couldn't say much.
Q. What would Lureen's mating call have sounded like?
-
Q. What would Lureen's mating call have sounded like?
A.
Q. Would Jack have responded?
-
Q. Would Jack have responded?
A.
Q. What did Monroe do with all the broken peanut jars?
-
Q. What did Monroe do with all the broken peanut jars?
A. He strung them up and turned them into wind chimes.
Q. Just how many sheep did the guys take up on Brokeback?
-
Q. Just how many sheep did the guys take up on Brokeback?
A. More than they brought down.
Q. What was the name of Ennis' first grandchild?
-
Q. What was the name of Ennis' first grandchild?
A. Alma Jr. Jr.
Q. Did Alma and Lureen ever meet?
-
Q. Did Alma and Lureen ever meet?
A. Yes. After Monroe died, Alma and Lureen went camping and fishing together.
Q. What was the cause of Monroe's death?
-
Q. What was the cause of Monroe's death?
A. Shock when Ennis hit on him.
Q. Was Jack really "nasty"?
-
Q. Was Jack really "nasty"?
A. No, he was more like "nesty", meaning he wanted to build a cozy nest with Ennis.
B. How come Jenny had asthma?
-
A. 'cause of Ennis' second hand smoke.
Q. what did Ennis think a 'condiment' was?
-
Q. what did Ennis think a 'condiment' was?
A. He thought it was a French word for condom. Obviously he didn't want Alma to get any.
Q. Why didn't Ennis want any cherry cake?
-
A. He figured his cherry was long gone, years ago, so why try to get it back through a pie?
Q. Did Alma Jr. ever get her crayons?
-
Q. Did Alma Jr. ever get her crayons?
A. Sadly not :'( poor child. Years later she had to see a shrink to work through the crayon trauma of her childhood.
Q. Why didn't Ennis and Alma have a cat?
-
A. Because Ennis didn't want nuthin' to do with pussy.
Q. Did Bobby really need to eat that food for the next two weeks?
-
Q. Did Bobby really need to eat that food for the next two weeks?
A. No. LD took him out for football and hamburgers to make a man out of him.
Q. Did Lureen remarry after Jack died?
-
A. No, no man would accept those purple chairs in her home.
Q. Where did she get those chairs?
-
Q. Where did she get those chairs?
A. She had them custom made, as a birthday gift for Jack.
Q. Did Jack and Randall ever go to Lake Kemp together?
-
A. We have no proof of that.
Q. Did Lureen dye her own hair, or go to a salon?
-
Q. Did Lureen dye her own hair, or go to a salon?
A. Her mother did it for her. That way, she could get away from LD for a couple of hours.
B. Did Bobby ever get a tutor?
-
A. That was up to Lureen, the teacher didn't like Jack.
Q. Why did you put "B." above?
*runs from Sonja*
-
Q. Why did you put "B." above?
*runs from Sonja*
A. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Q. Why did Monroe use an electric knife for the turkey?
-
A. Because Alma's bird was so tough, he needed the extra power.
Q. Did Lureen's momma have an electric knife too?
-
Q. Did Lureen's momma have an electric knife too?
A. No, LD refused to use one, it isn't manly enough.
Q. If BBM had been shot in Australia, would they all have been upside down?
-
A. I'm sure there are people who would believe that.
Q. Does anyone know what song was playing when Alma Jr. drove up to see Ennis?
-
A. Yes, "Sweet Melissa" by the Allman Brothers.
Q: Where did Jack leave his blue parka?
-
Q: Where did Jack leave his blue parka?
A. Bobby had hidden it. He thought he could prevent his dad from going away.
Q. Did Lureen drop her red hat on purpose when she noticed Jack?
-
A. Yes, "Sweet Melissa" by the Allman Brothers.
I thought "Sweet Melissa" was playing when Ennis, Jr, and Cassie went out to the bar. I was talking about when Jr. pulls up to Ennis' trailer. Is it the same song?
A. Bobby had hidden it. He thought he could prevent his dad from going away.
Q. Did Lureen drop her red hat on purpose when she noticed Jack?
A. Yes, she was so shocked to see such a specimen of beauty.
Q. What would have Lureen's mating call sounded like?
-
Q. What would have Lureen's mating call sounded like?
A. Like this:
Q. Why was the apartment over the laundromat empty before Ennis and Alma moved in?
-
Q. Why was the apartment over the laundromat empty before Ennis and Alma moved in?
A. It was the scene of a murder/suicide. I won't get into it, too grisly.
Q. Why didn't Lureen's mother talk much in the movie?
-
Q. Why didn't Lureen's mother talk much in the movie?
A. Her husband told her to "keep mum."
Q. What did Ennis keep in his creel case?
-
Q. What did Ennis keep in his creel case?
A. An unused fishing line that hadn't touched water in its life. And some spuds and powdered milk in case they run out.
Q. Why did Jenny have asthma attacks?
-
Q. Why did Jenny have asthma attacks?
A. Result of exposure to Ennis' and Alma's second hand smoke.
Q. Whatever happened to Bobby?
-
Q. Whatever happened to Bobby?
A. He grew up, killed his grandfather, married his grandmother and moved to Mexico. Where it's warm.
Q. Why didn't the Basque find another job where he didn't have to put up with Aguirre?
-
Q. Why didn't the Basque find another job where he didn't have to put up with Aguirre?
A. Because he was a masochist!
Q. Did Aguirre ever find ranchers he liked?
-
Q. Did Aguirre ever find ranchers he liked?
A. No! People like Aguirre never like anything or anyone.
Q. If Ennis and Alma had had a boy, what would his name have been?
-
Q. If Ennis and Alma had had a boy, what would his name have been?
A. Duh! Ennis Jr.
Q. How many cats pissed on the tent?
-
Q. How many cats pissed on the tent?
A. None. Aguierre had poured some artificial cat piss smelling stuff onto it, just to make them miserable.
Q. How many of the Chilean sheep did they bring down the mountain?
-
Q. How many of the Chilean sheep did they bring down the mountain?
A. Not enough for Aguierre!
Q. Has Ma Twist ever shared her cherry cake recipe?
-
Q. Has Ma Twist ever shared her cherry cake recipe?
A. Only with her brother Harold. But while he was in hospital with pneumonia the neighbours broke inte his house and stole
it >:(
Q. Who picked the cherries for the cake?
-
Q. Who picked the cherries for the cake?
A. Ma Twist. Pa didn't know how to handle cherries. ;)
Q. What did Alma and Munroe do with the Thanksgiving leftovers?
-
Q. What did Alma and Munroe do with the Thanksgiving leftovers?
A. They gave them to the neighbours, who then gave Alma and Monroe their leftovers.
Q. Why did they do that?
-
Q. Why did they do that?
A. Because it made sense to them.
Q. Whatever happened to Randall?
-
Q. Whatever happened to Randall?
A. He finally started using earplugs, and his life became so much better.
Q. Whatever happened to the Basque?
-
Q. Whatever happened to the Basque?
A. He lives under the bridge now.
Q. What song did Jenny sing at Jr.'s wedding?
-
Q. What song did Jenny sing at Jr.'s wedding?
A.
Q. Why did Monroe look like a baby?
-
Q. Why did Monroe look like a baby?
A.
(https://www.toocooldude.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/baby-troll.jpg)
Q. How did Monroe end up owning the grocery?
-
Q. How did Monroe end up owning the grocery?
A. He hit the previous owner in the head with an axe, buried him in the cellar and took over the store.
Q. How did Junior and Kurt meet?
-
Q. How did Junior and Kurt meet?
A. Hiking on Brokeback
Q. What happened when they met?
-
Q. What happened when they met?
A. They were both walking around, looking down, trying to find a Chinese seal that had been lost. They simply bumped into each other, head against head.
Q. Who lost a Chinese seal on Brokeback?
-
Q. Who lost a Chinese seal on Brokeback?
A. An ancient ruler.
Q. Why was a Chinese seal on Brokeback?
-
Q. Why was a Chinese seal on Brokeback?
A. Because an ancient ruler lost it there.
Q. Why was the ancient ruler up on Brokeback?
-
Q. Why was the ancient ruler up on Brokeback?
A. He was on a fishin' trip.
Q. Did Ennis and Jack eat that whole elk?
-
Q. Did Ennis and Jack eat that whole elk?
A. Yup, meat, bones, antlers, hooves, everything. They were starved, due to now powdered milk or spuds.
Q. Why is Jack the only combine salesman they've got?
-
Q. Why is Jack the only combine salesman they've got?
A. Because they had limited numbers of combines.
Q. Why was Jack such a poor shot?
-
Q. Why was Jack such a poor shot?
A. Because he had poured too many shots.
Q. Who bleached Lureen's hair?
-
Q. Who bleached Lureen's hair?
A. She did it herself. That's why it looks the way it does.
Q. Did Ennis ever replace the shirt that Jack took?
-
Q. Did Ennis ever replace the shirt that Jack took?
A. No, he just had to go without a shirt half of the time.
Q. Why was Aguierre out of powdered milk and spuds?
-
Q. Why was Aguierre out of powdered milk and spuds?
A. He used them in place of body powder.
Q. How many sheep came down from Brokeback?
-
Q. How many sheep came down from Brokeback?
A. One less that should have come down.
Q. Why did Ennis's transmission go on the pickup?
-
Q. Why did Ennis's transmission go on the pickup?
A. To give Jack and Ennis more difficulties.
Q. How far did Ennis walk go get home after Jack drove off?
-
Q. How far did Ennis walk go get home after Jack drove off?
A. Not far, he got another lift with a truck.
Q. Who did Jack sheepherd with the year before?
-
Q. Who did Jack sheepherd with the year before?
A. Carlos El Amante Del Hombre
Q. What happened to the guy at the fireworks show that Ennis punched?
-
Q. What happened to the guy at the fireworks show that Ennis punched?
A. The punch was an eye opener for him. He decided to rectify his sorry life, stop being an asshole, stop drinking, start studying and then became a Buddist monk.
Q. What was the Basque's name?
-
Q. What was the Basque's name?
A. Phil
Q. Did Ennis and Alma ever talk after the Thanksgiving blow-up?
-
Q. Did Ennis and Alma ever talk after the Thanksgiving blow-up?
A. Oh yes, they had a Xmas blow-up that very same year.
Q. What kind of flowers did Junior have in her wedding bouquet?
-
Q. What kind of flowers did Junior have in her wedding bouquet?
A. Tulips, because she knew where Ennis put his two lips!
Q. Who caught the bouquet?
-
Q. Who caught the bouquet?
A. Alma did, but she was already married.
Q. Why did Randall marry babblemouth LaShawn?
-
Q. Why did Randall marry babblemouth LaShawn?
A. Because he didn't appreciate the sounds of silence.
Q. How much wire has Randall used on the truck?
-
Q. How much wire has Randall used on the truck?
A. Enough to fix it for now.
Q. What did Monroe really think of Ennis?
-
Q. What did Monroe really think of Ennis?
A. He didn't think of Ennis.
Q. Did Jack know what condiments were?
-
Q. Did Jack know what condiments were?
A. No, he thought they were the same as french letters.
Q. Why did those men in LD's showroom call Jack a pissant?
-
Q. Why did those men in LD's showroom call Jack a pissant?
A. They've actually been misheard. They enjoyed Jack's sense of humor, and called him a pisser.
Q. Would you rather snuggle with Jack or Ennis?
-
Q. Would you rather snuggle with Jack or Ennis?
A. I'd like to be the meat in the sandwich.
Q. What happened to Jack's parka?
-
Q. What happened to Jack's parka?
A. Bobby had stolen and sold it, he wanted to pay a tutor since his parents apparently didn't care enough to do it.
Q. What was the difference between the Chilean sheep and Aguirre's?
-
Q. What was the difference between the Chilean sheep and Aguirre's?
A. Chilean sheep are 'easy'.
Q. What was the count of the sheep?
-
Q. What was the count of the sheep?
A. Less than Aguirre had expected.
Q. Why are soup boxes hard to pack?
-
Q. Why are soup boxes hard to pack?
A. Too many corners.
Q. How many cats pissed on the tent?
-
Q. How many cats pissed on the tent?
A. No cats, just Aguirre.
Q. Why did Junior need crayons?
-
A. To escape her drab life with her parents.
Q. Did she have a coloring book?
-
Q. Did she have a coloring book?
A. No, the poor child had to colour on the empty cigarette packages her parents left all over the place.
Q. Had Monroe been married before Alma?
-
Q. Had Monroe been married before Alma?
A. Nope! She was the first to say "Yes!"
Q. What was the name of Monroe and Alma's baby?
-
Q. What was the name of Monroe and Alma's baby?
A. Very boring name: Monroe Jr.
Q. Did Lureen ever remarry?
-
Q. Did Lureen ever remarry?
A. One husband was enough.
Q. How did Ennis learn to shoot so well?
-
Q. How did Ennis learn to shoot so well?
A. He and his brother practiced together, strongly encouraged by their father.
Q. Why did their parents miss that one curve in the road?
-
Q. Why did their parents miss that one curve in the road?
A. His mother was doing something "unladylike" to her husband as he drove. One of the earliest examples of distracted driving.
Q. Is a tough old bird an overcooked chicken?
-
Q. Is a tough old bird an overcooked chicken?
A. Sometimes, but not in this case.
Q. Why didn't Jack have any siblings?
-
Q. Why didn't Jack have any siblings?
A. Because why continue after Jack?
Q. did Jack and Ennis ever exchange Christmas gifts?
-
Q. did Jack and Ennis ever exchange Christmas gifts?
A. No, they rather spent the money on whisky and cigarettes.
Q. How many kids did Alma and Monroe have?
-
Q. How many kids did Alma and Monroe have?
A. They had 6, because with Alma Jr. and Jenny, that made 8, and 8 is enough.
Q. Did Monroe ever sell the store?
-
Q. Did Monroe ever sell the store?
A. Yes, he decided to become a movie star, sold the store and moved to LA with Alma and the kids. Unfortunately, he failed miserably at his new career.
Q. Who taught Jenny to sing?
-
Q. Who taught Jenny to sing?
A. She was self taught.
Q. Was Alma a good cook?
-
Q. Was Alma a good cook?
A. Compared to BetterMost beans she was an exquisite cook.
Q. Was Aguirre married?
-
Q. Was Aguirre married?
A. Um.....no!
Q. Who would have him?
-
Q. Who would have him?
A. His mom would probably be able to find someone.
Q. Did Jack's parents ever meet Bobby?
-
Q. Did Jack's parents ever meet Bobby?
A. They threw the baby shower.
Q. Did Bobby ever crash a tractor?
-
Q. Did Bobby ever crash a tractor?
A. No, Jack had trained him well.
Q. How did Ma Twist celebrate Pentecost?
-
Q. How did Ma Twist celebrate Pentecost?
A. She'd sing "Water Walkin' Jesus"
Q. Did Pa Twist celebrate with her?
-
Q. Did Pa Twist celebrate with her?
A. No way. He just spat in his cup and ordered her to serve him cherry cake.
Q. Why didn't Ennis want any cherry cake?
-
Q. Why didn't Ennis want any cherry cake?
A. He didn't want nothin' to do with cherry.
Q. Did Jack like his mom's baking?
-
Q. Did Jack like his mom's baking?
A. Oh yes, he loved it. That's why he went up to give his dad a hand over the winter, instead of eloping with Ennis.
B. Did Cassie and Carl marry?
-
B. Did Cassie and Carl marry?
A. Yes, but she never did understand why he took so many fishin' trips.
Q. Do herders still meet up on Brokeback?
-
A. No, there are no more sheep to herd. It's become a touristy area, no more peace and quiet for herders to stem the rose.
Q. What happened to Bobby after Jack died?
-
Q. What happened to Bobby after Jack died?
A. After finishing high school, he found a lucrative career as the famous drag queen, Lady Bunny.
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8d/30/a9/8d30a98f4e9f916b7f5e9be0ce58e3d7.gif)
Q. What happened to Jenny?
-
Q. What happened to Jenny?
A. She married a very old millionaire, finished him off, and led the luxury life forever after.
Q. Why aren't there any kitties in the movie?
-
Q. Why aren't there any kitties in the movie?
A. I'm biting my tongue on this one.
Q. Does Aguirre clean his trailer?
-
A. I'm biting my tongue on this one.
Hmpffff >:( >:(
Q. Does Aguirre clean his trailer?
A. Nope. That's why it looks like a pigsty. He has a lot to learn from you, Chuck!
Q. Why did Ennis tell Alma they were fishing buddies and not sheep herders?
-
Q. Why did Ennis tell Alma they were fishing buddies and not sheep herders?
A. To protect the identities of the sheep
Q. Did Jack & Ennis go out on dates?
-
Q. Did Jack & Ennis go out on dates?
A. They tried a couple of times, but since Ennis insisted on wearing a brown paper bag over his head it wasn't much fun.
Q. If they had been able to marry, who would have been their groomsmen?
-
Q. If they had been able to marry, who would have been their groomsmen?
A. The basque, Aguirre, Jimbo the rodeo clown, and Randall.
Q. what happened between Ennis and Alma after the fight at the firework show?
-
Q. what happened between Ennis and Alma after the fight at the firework show?
A. Nothing much. Ennis didn't mention it, and Alma didn't want to ask about it.
Q. Why are them soup boxes hard to pack?
-
Q. Why are them soup boxes hard to pack?
A. Because they're square.
B. what really happened to Jack's harmonica?
-
B. what really happened to Jack's harmonica?
A. Aguirre smashed it because he thought it would scare them sheep.
Q. Why doesn't Lureen's mom say even one word at thanksgiving?
-
Q. Why doesn't Lureen's mom say even one word at thanksgiving?
A. She was shocked into silence.
Q. Did lightning hit any sheep that first summer on Brokeback?
-
Q. Did lightning hit any sheep that first summer on Brokeback?
A. Yes, because Jack couldn't control the weather.
Q. Why did Aguirre spy on them?
-
Q. Why did Aguirre spy on them?
A. Because he was a dirty old man.
Q. Did Alma Jr. ever go to the trailer after getting married?
-
Q. Did Alma Jr. ever go to the trailer after getting married?
A. Yes, to tell Ennis that she was pregnant.
Q. Did she have a son or a daughter?
-
Q. Did she have a son or a daughter?
A. She had a daughter. Alma Jr. Jr.
Q. Did Bobby have kids?
-
Q. Did Bobby have kids?
A. No, but he had a lot of kitties. For he loved a little kittie.
Q. Why did LD think that boys should watch football?
-
Q. Why did LD think that boys should watch football?
A. To make them manly. He didn't realize it could also change them into cheerleaders.
Q. What type of soup is in the boxes?
-
Q. What type of soup is in the boxes?
A. The absolutely cheapest soup Aguirre was able to find.
Q. Did they see any beautiful sunsets on Brokeback?
-
Q. Did they see any beautiful sunsets on Brokeback?
A. They were too busy watching the sheep
Q. Did they ever shear the sheep?
-
Q. Did they ever shear the sheep?
A. No, Aguirre wanted to do that himself. He was afraid they'd steal the wool and make a love nest from it.
Q. What happened to the dead sheep Ennis found that morning?
-
Q. What happened to the dead sheep Ennis found that morning?
A. They mixed it with the boxed soup.
Q. How many dogs were on the mountain with them?
-
Q. How many dogs were on the mountain with them?
A. Three, in case of a "three dog night" happening.
Q. What could Ennis do if he had three hands?
-
Q. What could Ennis do if he had three hands?
A. He could wipe Jenny's nose, feed three calves at the same time, untangle the Chilean sheep faster. Among other things.
Q. Why did Ennis tell Alma they were fishing buddies and not sheepherders?
-
Q. Why did Ennis tell Alma they were fishing buddies and not sheepherders?
A. He thought it was more believeable.
Q. Did Jack pick out the purple chairs in his home?
-
Q. Did Jack pick out the purple chairs in his home?
A. Yes he did. For some reason he didn't quite understand they reminded him of Ennis.
Q. Why did OMT spit in a cup? So disgusting!! >:(
-
Q. Why did OMT spit in a cup? So disgusting!! >:(
A. because it was near at hand.
Q. Would you rather he spit on his wife?
-
Q. Would you rather he spit on his wife?
A. I would rather he spit on himself, he's the one who deserves it.
Q. Where did Ma Twist get the cherry cake recipe from?
-
Q. Where did Ma Twist get the cherry cake recipe from?
A. Better Homes & Gardens.
Q. Were the cherries fresh or canned?
-
Q. Were the cherries fresh or canned?
A. Fresh from the garden
Q. How come Jack didn't know what pentecost was?
-
Q. How come Jack didn't know what pentecost was?
A. Isn't it obvious? He was a "Heath"en!
Q. Was Jack a klutz?
-
Q. Was Jack a klutz?
A. Yes indeed. He couldn't shoot the elk, he couldn't catch the car keys etc. All due to a lifetime of being put down by his asshole father.
Q. Why was OMT so mean to Jack?
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Q. Why was OMT so mean to Jack?
A. Internal homophobia.
Q. Did Jack ever hide other stuff in his closet?
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Q. Did Jack ever hide other stuff in his closet?
A. As a child, he hid all kinds of treasures there, e.g. feathers, skulls from little animals he found, bird's eggs, interesting stones and so on. Little did he know that his mom kept an eye on them all and sometimes would throw some of them out when they began to smell.
Q. Did Jack like his mom's cherry cake?
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Q. Did Jack like his mom's cherry cake?
A. I respectfully refuse to answer on the grounds that this question sounds dirty.
Q. Were there ghosts up on Brokeback?
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A. I respectfully refuse to answer on the grounds that this question sounds dirty.
Only if you already have a dirty mind ::)
Q. Were there ghosts up on Brokeback?
A. Yes, 42 of them. They were all from dead sheep who'd been killed by lightning and couldn't rest in their graves.
Q. How did OMT and Ma Twist meet?
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Q. How did OMT and Ma Twist meet?
A. At a church social, she tried to teach him how to sing "Water Walkin' Jesus"
B. How many people were in the Twist family plot?
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B. How many people were in the Twist family plot?
A. OMT's parents and grandparents, and his brother who died as a child.
Q. Would Jack have married Lureen if she didn't have money?
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Q. Would Jack have married Lureen if she didn't have money?
A. Yes, she was more manly than she appeared.
Q. Was Monroe as good as Ennis in bed?
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Q. Was Monroe as good as Ennis in bed?
A. At first he was worse. He was very unexperienced and had no clue about what to do.
Q. Who taught him?
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Q. Who taught him?
A. Perhaps Alma, and that's why it wasn't going well, she expected him to flip her over.
Q. Did Jack do that to Lureen too?
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Q. Did Jack do that to Lureen too?
A. No, Jack could only perform in the backseat of their car. A bit awkward, that's why they only had Bobby.
Q. Why was he named Bobby?
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Q. Why was he named Bobby?
A. Because Jack had to 'bob' around Lureen's dad's insults.
Q. did LaShawn ever shut up?
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Q. did LaShawn ever shut up?
A. Only when she slept.
Q. Did LaShawn and Randall have any kids?
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Q. Did LaShawn and Randall have any kids?
A. Yes, two boys who were born with full beards, and talking upon birth.
Q. Did Lureen ever go back to her natural hair color?
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Q. Did Lureen ever go back to her natural hair color?
A. No. By the time she got tired of the blond look her hair had already gone grey.
Q. How many Chilean sheep did they bring down?
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Q. How many Chilean sheep did they bring down?
A. Not enough, according to Aguirre.
Q. Before Ennis, how many guys did Jack have on Brokeback?
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Q. Before Ennis, how many guys did Jack have on Brokeback?
A. None. Nothing happened last year.
Q. Who was calling Aguirre?
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Q. Who was calling Aguirre?
A. The Avon lady, he owed her money.
Q. Did Jack & Ennis ever see Bigfoot while camping?
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Q. Did Jack & Ennis ever see Bigfoot while camping?
A: No, but they did come upon a bear.
Q: What was the bear's name and what kind of food did he like?
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Q: What was the bear's name and what kind of food did he like?
A. The bear's name was Lovely Rainbow, and her favourite food was tender young sheepherders.
Q. Did anyone send a card to Ennis at his birthday?
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Q. Did anyone send a card to Ennis at his birthday?
A. Nope. Ennis never talked, so no one knew when his birthday was.
Q. Did Ennis ever cuddle with Jack?
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Q. Did Ennis ever cuddle with Jack?
A. No, Ennis didn't believe in cuddling.
Q. Did Ennis ever see his brother and sister again?
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Q. Did Ennis ever see his brother and sister again?
A. Yeah, he needed somewhere to go on Thanksgiving after wearing out his welcome at Alma's.
Q. Did Ennis ever use more than spit?
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Q. Did Ennis ever use more than spit?
A. Yes, Jack complained so he started to use lanolin instead. Easy to come by on Brokeback.
Q. What did Jack think of that?
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Q. What did Jack think of that?
A. He didn't think about it, as long as it felt good.
Q. Did they ever eat any of the sheep?
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Q. Did they ever eat any of the sheep?
A. Yes, that's how Jack came by the lanolin.
Q. Where there any wild herbs they could pick and eat on Brokeback?
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Q. Where there any wild herbs they could pick and eat on Brokeback?
A. None that mattered. Ennis wasn't into seasoning anyway.
Q. Was Jack ever gored by a bull?
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Q. Was Jack ever gored by a bull?
A. L.D Fucking Newsome would have loved that, but no, he wasn't.
Q. What did the passer-by man think of Ennis throwing up in the alley?
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Q. What did the passer-by man think of Ennis throwing up in the alley?
A. Too much hair of the dog.
Q. Whatever happened to the rodeo clown?
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Q. Whatever happened to the rodeo clown?
A. He quietly rodeoed his way into the bed of one of the rodeo queens.
Q. Why is it so important that boys watch football?
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Q. Why is it so important that boys watch football?
A. So that they learn how to handle balls.
Q. whatever happened to Aguirre?
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Q. whatever happened to Aguirre?
A. He finally got totally crazy and the nice men in white coats came and took him away.
Q. What happened to the Chilean sheep?
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Q. What happened to the Chilean sheep?
A. They were put into Chilean Stew!
Q. Did anyone besides Alma ever see Ennis and Jack making out?
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Q. Did anyone besides Alma ever see Ennis and Jack making out?
A. Aguirre saw them rollicking around at the campsite.
Q. Did Lureen's hair eventually fall out from all the dying?
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Q. Did Lureen's hair eventually fall out from all the dying?
A. Ah, she's from Texas.
Q. what makes Ennis laugh?
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Q. what makes Ennis laugh?
A. Ennis never laughs.
Q. Why did Monroe use an electric turkey knife?
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Q. Why did Monroe use an electric turkey knife?
A. Less physical exertion
Q. Would you eat soup on Thanksgiving?
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Q. Would you eat soup on Thanksgiving?
A. I would eat anything on Tgiving, as it's a normal day here.
Q. Is it late enough to be tired of beans on Tgiving?
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Q. Is it late enough to be tired of beans on Tgiving?
A. Beans are good anytime.
Q. Isn't it "sick" of beans? ;)
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Q. Isn't it "sick" of beans? ;)
A. Yes, of course it is. *hangs head in shame and hands in brokie card*
Q. Why is it that Jack is sick of beans?
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Q. Why is it that Jack is sick of beans?
A. It's all Ennis would cook!
Q. How long did the moose last?
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Q. How long did the moose last?
A. What moose? Do you mean the elk they shot? It lasted two weeks, then Jack started to complain again.
Q. What did Ennis do with the coyote he shot?
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Q. What did Ennis do with the coyote he shot?
A. He gave Alma the balls to wear as earrings. They were the size of apples, and started the trend of over-sized earrings.
Q. Was Jack ever able to get Bobby's teacher to like him?
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Q. Was Jack ever able to get Bobby's teacher to like him?
A. No, the teacher didn't like men who wear parkas, esp blue ones.
Q. Why did LD Newsome walk like a crab?
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Q. Why did LD Newsome walk like a crab?
A. Because he was crabby!
Q. did he also have crabs?
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Q. did he also have crabs?
A. Yes he did.
Q. Who did he get them from?
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Q. Who did he get them from?
A. From Jack!
(runs away)
Q. Did Alma have to pay for the display that Jr. knocked down?
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A: No, the grocer just put it up again.
Q: What did Ennis and Jack do with all the elk meat from Pine Creek Day?
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Q: What did Ennis and Jack do with all the elk meat from Pine Creek Day?
A. They ate most of it, and used the rest to make matching leather vests.
Q. Why did they use the meat to make vests, instead of the skin?
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Q. Why did they use the meat to make vests, instead of the skin?
A. They were following Lady Gaga's sewing directions.
Q. Why were the dogs called "Blue Heelers"?
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Q. Why were the dogs called "Blue Heelers"?
A. Cause they were helping herding the sheep.
Q. Of all the men in Riverton, why did Alma choose Monroe?
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Q. Of all the men in Riverton, why did Alma choose Monroe?
A. He was the most docile.
Q. Why did Monroe start to date Alma?
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Q. Why did Monroe start to date Alma?
A. He liked the chaos Junior created by scattering peanut jars on the floor.
Q. Why don't we see any Xmess scenes in the movie?
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Q. Why don't we see any Xmess scenes in the movie?
A. Because their lives were messy enough as it is.
Q. How many bull riding awards did Jack win?
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Q. How many bull riding awards did Jack win?
A. Just the one that made Lureen interested in him.
Q. Why didn't Old Man Twist teach him better?