Favorite Lines From "Everybody Loves Raymond"

[David In Indy]

these are great...I am not familiar enough to have seen the individual show you are talking about...but I know the characters and I can just hear Ray's dad!

 

I've got hundreds of them Jess! I can keep going all night! 

Oh, and I'm loving your Cheers thread. But I can't remember all the funny lines from the show. But I'm remembering many of them as I read all those posts! 

[David In Indy]

Ray and Robert start laughing at Marie when she takes a Sucret for her sore throat and then notices a couple of them are missing from the box....

Marie: Okay. Keep laughing. One of these days you'll turn around and I won't be here.

(Ray turns completely around)

Ray: Not today!!

  

[David In Indy]

Marie, after she realizes the sculpture she made closely resembles a part of the "female anatomy"....

Marie: "Oh my God. I'm a lesbian. "

 

[dot-matrix]

Debra Barone: Ray, don't you say one more word or I'm gonna send your mother back in here to smack the crap out of you.

[David In Indy]

Ray loses $2,300 to Frank in a poker game. When he arrives home, he doesn't want to tell Debra how much he actually lost...

Debra: Why are you home so late?

Ray: Because I won a lot of money.

Debra: Oh.

Ray: Then I lost some.

Debra: How much?

Ray: Not enough to lose sleep over honey.

(Ray heads into the bathroom and starts brushing his teeth. Debra follows him into the bathroom.)

Debra: You didn't lose a hundered dollars did you?

Ray: Nooooooo...... hundreds.....

Debra: How many hundreds?

Ray: tweffkt tfkt.

Debra: What?

Ray: tweffkt tfkt.

Debra: Ray! How many hundreds did you lose?

(Ray removes the toothbrush from his mouth)

Ray: Twenty three.

Debra: You lost twenty three hundred dollars to your father?

Ray: Yes, but don't worry. We'll get it back.

Debra: When?

Ray: When he dies.

[David In Indy]

Debra Barone: Ray, don't you say one more word or I'm gonna send your mother back in here to smack the crap out of you.

  

That one is from "Bad Moon Rising" That was a funny episode, wasn't it Dottie? 

[David In Indy]

Ray realizes he accidently put Debra's Thanksgiving fish in the dishwasher....

Debra: Ray, where's the fish?

Ray: Why don't you go change Michael?"

Debra: No, Michael is fine.

Ray: Somebody needs changing around here.

[David In Indy]

Frank (to Ray and Robert) "You gotta get your wives out of my house. They're over there right now looking at furniture catalogs. I told Marie she shouldn't be looking at any new furniture unless it has a lid."

[David In Indy]

Marie: You really should close your curtains at night Raymond. You never know who might look in.

Ray: I've got a pretty good idea!

[David In Indy]

Ray and Debra are upset that Frank and Marie have no friends. They figure if Frank and Marie had some friends, they wouldn't come over quite so often. So they recommend the Stipes, an older couple down the street.

Marie: "Well, what would we do with these Stipes?"

Debra:" You could have dinner, or you could......"

Ray:" You could play "Guess What I Forgot".