Author Topic: Bullying and harassment  (Read 6189 times)

Offline loneleeb3

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Re: Bullying and harassment
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2008, 02:28:06 pm »
I wanted to start this thread about bullying and harassment because in my opinion not a lot of attention is paid to prevention and to the life-long effects of bullying. It makes me so sad to think of the consequences and still, at least here in Holland, insufficient attention is paid to prevention and really finding out what the long-term effects are of bullying.

Oh sure, plenty of times.  I was still in the closet then, very much in denial with myself.  I was shoved into lockers, pushed up staris, spit at, punched, slapped, and one time, molested in the school auditorium. Of course, all the name calling went along with it.   "faggot, fairy, homo..."  ::)


I internalized it all, ran from it, tried my best to become "invisible" at school.  I talked to almost no one.  I learned to recognize far off voices and smells.  If I heard the voice of one of the bullies who would regularly target me in the distance, I would immedietely turn and run in the other direction.  There was one kid who used to wear the nastiest cologne.  I learned to smell it quickly (and hate it), and get away as fast as I could.  It was almost like a strange "documentary" on nature.  "The smaller, meeker Chuck, has picked up the scent of prey, and retreats."

:laugh:

Not long ago, I was in a store shopping, and someone passed me, wearing that same cologne.  My knees locked, and the first thought was "where is he?"

I never told my parents about it, I didn't want them to know, and to be disappointed with me.

When I graduated high school, I was happy, thinking "I'm finally away from them!" and got a job at the local supermarket.  Three of the kids who gave me hell ended up getting hired there as well.  And of course, they told everyone there about the abuse that took place in school, and it followed me to my job.  Physical abuse had stopped, but was replaced with grafitti about me in the men's room, and all over the walls in the basement, out in the open for everyone to see/read.  Rude, lewd post about me, the size of my dick, how I sucked dicks, and all other kinds of nasty stuff.  When I approached the manager of the store, I was told "It's too expensive to repaint the walls, and they'll only do it again anyway."

I refused to quit my job, so like Ennis said, "you can't fix it, you gotta stand it.".  I was only 18, no way to afford a lawyer to sue my employer.  Besides, if I had done that, I'd be admiting what they were saying was true, and I was still in denial to myself.
Wish I had been there!
There would havebeen some major ass kicking going on!
I'm so sorry!  :'(
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Offline Kelda

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Re: Bullying and harassment
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2008, 03:16:26 pm »
I tell you what if only the could see you now.

I was also bullied although minor and although it hurt like hell at the time - you know what I think it helped to make me a stronger person and made me the person I am today... a tough little shit!
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Offline David In Indy

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Re: Bullying and harassment
« Reply #12 on: August 22, 2008, 11:26:56 pm »
I just now saw this thread for the first time! And my bff Melissa was the one who started it!  8)

Chuck, you're unfortunate experiences in school sound identical to mine. Everything you mentioned also happened to me. School, and especially high school was a terrible experience. I wouldn't repeat it for anything. I really do hope there is no such thing as reincarnation, because the idea of going through school again appalls me.

I did however have a few friends who were athletes, and that helped me quite a bit. Ken, who played the string bass in my orchestra also played on the football team. In addition to getting made fun of for being gay, I was also made fun of quite a bit because I played violin and cello in the orchestra - what they called fag instruments. Ken didn't appreciate that because he was in the orchestra too. We became friends and he and a few of his buddies looked out for me. It got pretty rough for gay kids in Indiana back in the 70s. It's still pretty rough for them now. :(

And they pinned the unfortunate name of "Gayvid" on me and it stuck throughout high school. Actually I think that name hurt more than all the punches, slaps and other physical bullying I received. Because whenever someone would shout it, everyone would laugh. It really hurt a lot. :(

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Re: Bullying and harassment
« Reply #13 on: August 23, 2008, 12:21:20 am »
man, high school kids are SOOOO clever aren't they...

 >:( >:( >:( >:(

{{{David}}}

Offline Kelda

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Re: Bullying and harassment
« Reply #14 on: August 23, 2008, 08:53:43 am »
Eesh David, you had it bad too...

God I got some cruel remarks but never ever tio that extent.

But do you think that partly this made you the compassionate person you are today?
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Offline CellarDweller

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Re: Bullying and harassment
« Reply #15 on: August 23, 2008, 11:00:29 am »
Chuck, you're unfortunate experiences in school sound identical to mine. Everything you mentioned also happened to me. School, and especially high school was a terrible experience. I wouldn't repeat it for anything. I really do hope there is no such thing as reincarnation, because the idea of going through school again appalls me.


I know what you mean, David.  I've heard people say that they would love to go back and relive those days.  I always tell people if they ask me that, I would never go back, you couldn't pay me enough for that.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: Bullying and harassment
« Reply #16 on: August 23, 2008, 11:08:51 am »
But do you think that partly this made you the compassionate person you are today?


That could be, Kelda, speaking for myself of course.  I do believe that the experiences you have shape the person you become, and I've always sworn that I would never do to anyone else what was done to me.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline Artiste

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Re: Bullying and harassment
« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2008, 10:36:57 pm »
CellarDweller and others:

Do you think that we tend to become an Ennis, instead of a Jack, because we, as gay men or women, have been bullied and harrassed because of our homosexual orientation??

May I ask !!

Au revoir,
hugs!

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Bullying and harassment
« Reply #18 on: August 23, 2008, 10:44:39 pm »
Eesh David, you had it bad too...

God I got some cruel remarks but never ever tio that extent.

But do you think that partly this made you the compassionate person you are today?

I'm not sure Kelda. For a long time I was quite shy, but over the years I've broken out of that mold. The thing I often wonder about is if any of those people who bullied me back in school now regret what they did. Does it haunt them now? Do they ever think about it? At all? Probably not.

This makes me think of that scene from the movie Flatliners, where Kevin Bacon is haunted by the memories of the little girl he tormented in grade school. He ends up apologizing to her, and she forgives him. He didn't do it willingly though. The memories started haunting him after his near death experience, or rather death experiments.

Nobody has ever looked me up though. No phone calls. No letters. No nothing. Like I said, I doubt they ever think about it, nor are they probably concerned about it in the least.
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Offline David In Indy

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Re: Bullying and harassment
« Reply #19 on: August 23, 2008, 11:46:08 pm »

I know what you mean, David.  I've heard people say that they would love to go back and relive those days.  I always tell people if they ask me that, I would never go back, you couldn't pay me enough for that.

If there is a Hell, that's probably what they do to us. Make us go back to school over and over again.

Yipes! >:(

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