Jack's Ramblings

[jstephens9]

Hey Truman, Janice and Everybody,

Everything is fine with me now. I really think a lot of whatever it was coming from my experiences over on the other forum. Thanks for the call Truman and thanks for the words Janice. I will explain further, but I have to go a meeting right now. Wow, a meeting. I hate meetings 

Jack

[Penthesilea]

Hey Jack,

I'm happy to hear that 'whatever it was' is better now.

Just wanted to say a quick Howdy to you and greet you on your own blog  . It's great to see you more often here on BM recently  .

Did you find another smoking buddy in SF?   
I sent you a postcard last week. Already got it?

[jstephens9]

Hey Chrissi!!!

GREAT to hear from you  Yes, the postcard came yesterday and it is great. I will get one off to you soon. Yes, I have been spending more than my fair share of time on here. It can be addicting. About the only smoking buddy in SF was John and he doesn't talk much  We also didn't have the uncontrollable laughter, the falling through broken down chairs, etc., etc.. that you and I did. I missed my fun buddy 

[Shakesthecoffecan]

And you met me in Colorado? Hummmm......Sounds like a lot of fun. 

[jstephens9]

No remember I just thought I met you in Colorado Truman. I swear it seems like I did. I think it was just because Lynne mentioned you so many times. She was trying to let me know that I wasn't alone in the South. There was you and her. Of course she took off and moved to San Francisco shortly after that so that put us back to two from the South, but then Richard came along so we are back to three again. Wonder why it is that there are so few southerners here? Course we do represent 3 states: Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia. I know there are several here from Texas and that is definitely a southern state, but guess we are more of the traditional deep south. The ones that don't wear shoes, right 

[Shakesthecoffecan]

Oh there are others, Jess, Shasta, Wayne. We're everywhere!

[Lynne]

Hey there, Jack!  Sorry I can't be your smokin buddy too.

Being in Brokeback-mode gets me stirred up too.  One of my favorite questions is 'Why do I keep doing this to myself?  Because, $%^^&, it's painful, yanno?  I think the answer must be that it's ultimately catharctic.  You can get stuff out of yourself that just needs to spill.  Or make connections in your heart that your mind just isn't ready for yet.  Coming back is my real problem - there's all that open space between where my life is and where I want it to be to contend with - it seems like a wider and deeper for the first few days/weeks back.

See, you're not the only one who can ramble?! 

[Lynne]

Don't forget Wulfie in WVa!

[jstephens9]

So Lynne it sounds like there's lots of us southern ones around. Guess we are spread a little thinner though. When I was at the BBQ it seemed half of the people were from California.

So do you like living out there and being far from Tennessee? Are you liking San Francisco?

[jstephens9]

Everyone was gone
The room was empty
And then you appeared
Once again as you did before
But I could not resist you
I could not run from you

That night before
I had to run from you
Cause I could not look into those eyes
That I thought could never be mine
You found someone else
I saw
My heart dropped

Was the worst night of my life
Guessed you didn’t want me
Found out you didn’t think I wanted you
I thought, I dreamed of you
I could not see you in the arms of another
That hurt deep in my heart

It seemed that I was meant
To be in your arms
Holding you, me holding you
The way I knew it was meant
The way we both knew it was to be

It turned out to be you and me
Everyone was now gone
You and me
We remained

By the shore
You held me tight
To the warmness that is you
To the warmness that is you and me

Thousands of miles
Separate us
But in our minds
We will find a way