I have told and mentioned to so many people the feeling I felt in the air when I visited San Francisco. The problem is that I have never been able to describe that feeling or even what it means. Just because it is a strong feeling it does not necessarily mean that it is a good feeling for oneself. I keep thinking what it meant or means. There are many reasons why I would feel something on my first visit to California since as I have also stated many times it had been a lifelong dream of mine. Although, the actual dream was to visit Los Angeles. That is really where I felt I needed to go. I still haven't been there yet, but I have been to California obviously. San Francisco was never really at the top of where I wanted to go, but nevertheless it had a strong impact on me. I expected it to be this totally chaotic place where I would fit in like water fits in with oil. And it may be. I don't know that yet. I believe every place has some type of feel in the air. There was one in New York City, but it seemed to be one that I understood. There was this feeling of excitement there. A feeling of so many things coming into one. There is no way I would have not loved the City. I love skyscrapers, architecture and new things to see, to explore. There is no doubt that all of these elements were there. Denver had the feeling of the West, the new West, and the old West. It was exciting since I only knew what I had seen on television of the West. It's a vibrant city. It had a good feel. Other parts of Colorado such as Estes Park were simply breathtaking. I had also heard of the Rocky Mountains. I had seen pictures of them and I had seen them in movies and on television. However, there is no way anyone could truly see or feel the awesome beauty of them without being there in person. I remember standing in Estes Park and every way I would turn I would see a completely different, picturesque view. Wyoming was another beautiful and very remote place. Now that was a place I never had any idea I would see. It is hard for me to believe that a place that remote exists. It has a beauty all its own.
And then we have San Francisco. That is the one place I didn't quite know what I thought of when my plane landed through when my plane left for the journey home and until this very day. I just can't seem to put my finger on the feeling that exists there in that city. My first impressions were that I didn't really think much of it. I had heard so many stories of what a big disappointment California would be that I may be able to attribute some of that initial feeling to those. I began to try to compare it with New York City and finally realized that the two were way too different to compare. I began to find the flavor of the city which seemed to be quite appealing. I thought that the Castro district was interesting, but I can't really see that I would want to spend much time there. My views or thoughts of any city are not flavored by the gay environment. I knew that would be pretty much of a given for me. New York City has a big gay environment from what I know although I never had that much desire to seek it out. I'm sure it would be interesting and perhaps one day I will visit the Christopher Street area. There are many areas of New York City that I want to see.
Anyway, someone who showed me around a lot of the city who I owe a lot of what I know about San Francisco to suggested that I read a book and watch a show about the city. I have started reading the book and although it is not set in today's city I have a feeling it is going to provide insights on whatever this feeling I have is. I believe that any place is flavored by its past. Obviously, the flower children and the hippies from a time long ago in the 60s left their mark on the city as did the people I am reading about now.