Author Topic: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale  (Read 164069 times)

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale
« Reply #170 on: January 31, 2009, 08:49:45 pm »
Whoops - thanks for catching that mistake, Marie!

 
I have been toying with the idea of getting into the next case with our new psychologist and his investigation of the Sevigny case and call it "The Lawman" - but that's just a fancy of a Saturday afternoon.  I think I need more plot than that!
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale
« Reply #171 on: February 08, 2009, 05:37:49 pm »
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale
« Reply #172 on: February 08, 2009, 07:14:30 pm »
and here is chapter 41

http://louisev.livejournal.com/286243.html


SPOILERS


To Ellery’s surprise, Colson let out a choked noise that sounded like a sob, and his shoulders trembled beneath Ellery’s chest.

Like Ellery, I wasn't expecting that and I think that's what made it even more moving and powerful. That Colson was honest about his feelings and didn't keep them hidden says so much about his growth.  That was beautifully written, Louise!  Thank you.

Marie

P.S.  I hope Colson kicks the cigarettes again once they get back home!   :-\
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale
« Reply #173 on: February 09, 2009, 12:38:38 am »

SPOILERS


To Ellery’s surprise, Colson let out a choked noise that sounded like a sob, and his shoulders trembled beneath Ellery’s chest.

Like Ellery, I wasn't expecting that and I think that's what made it even more moving and powerful. That Colson was honest about his feelings and didn't keep them hidden says so much about his growth.  That was beautifully written, Louise!  Thank you.

Marie

P.S.  I hope Colson kicks the cigarettes again once they get back home!   :-\

You know, one of the reasons why I am keeping to this gradual schedule is that it gives me time to consider the organic growth of the relationship between Ellery and Colson.  Unlike the action-packed plots of many of the earlier stories, this story is about Ellery and Colson themselves, when they actually have time to relate to one another every day, for several hours a day, and it has a different texture to it.  With the time to think about each scene between writing them, I am getting a lot more of the deeper texture of their relationship that I would not be able to get if I were writing a chapter a day after work. In that respect it is much "easier" to write action that it is to write the psychological relationship between them, and at this point, Colson is just unwinding enough to start experiencing new things and telling Ellery how he feels.  Even though the phone does still ring, it is not the same time of pressure cooker they had been living in for so many months in Tourmaline.

As for the cigarettes... time will tell!
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale
« Reply #174 on: February 16, 2009, 12:54:00 pm »
needless to say, if you've been following my blog, old man Winter and his cousin Influenza came to visit (again) and I am just now starting to get some semblance of a night's sleep again after several days.  I haven't had the concentration or the energy to do any writing at all - mostly the concentration, since I'm downing narcotic cough syrup that makes me very fuzzy.  I am hoping I can resume the story - well, by this next weekend!
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale
« Reply #175 on: February 21, 2009, 01:51:40 am »
surprise Friday night chapter.  Sorry to make everybody wait so long.  I got home from work early, took a long nap, had a nice easy-to-fix dinner and tackled it!

http://louisev.livejournal.com/286498.html
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale
« Reply #176 on: February 21, 2009, 09:45:13 pm »
I'm glad you took the long nap, Louise!   :)

SPOILERS




“I want ta say I had a real honeymoon. ..”

Aw, Colson.  I agree - and they definitely need more relaxation, especially when Ellery starts getting that tension in his chest...

“Somethin nice an black an tight.”

Ellery in nice and black and tight leather?   Yes, please.   :) 

Thanks, Louise! 
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale
« Reply #177 on: February 22, 2009, 06:16:02 pm »
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale
« Reply #178 on: February 22, 2009, 06:54:21 pm »
Well, this was a welcome Sunday afternoon surprise, Louise!

SPOILERS






Now, his fury had vanished, leaving behind it only the passion and a kind of pride. I’m proud of being with a sexy man that I want. I’m proud that I want him.

Yes, this rings so true to me.  I can see how getting out of the "pressure cooker" that you referred to would have this very effect on Colson. 

The clothes were tailored to fit the size as snugly as possible, stretching smoothly over his hips and shoulders. ..

Oh, my.  Now that would be a sight.  No wonder Colson had a little trouble breathing there!   ;D

“Well Jesus H. Christ,” Ellery replied, flabbergasted. “Now what am I gonna do when the other Colson comes back?” To his surprise, Colson chuckled.

“Put em on a plane ta San Diego, I suppose.”


 :laugh: :laugh:    This was great, Louise - thanks!

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: In the Land of the Lotus Eaters: New Greenlea Tale
« Reply #179 on: February 22, 2009, 07:19:15 pm »
As you might tell, I have been mulling over the circumstances of Colson's "coming out" and how it would look, and how it would feel to him.  I think it had to involve a few factors: one ways a perceived loss of privacy from having his family intrude on him, to make him more protective of his relationship.  Another is an environment where he could have a sense of anonymity, which did not settle on him all at once but gradually, to allow him to experiment with crossing boundaries he had not tried before.  And his expressing his frustration about competing for Ellery's attention is also part of that - being more aware of his own needs, and not just his sexual needs but his social needs.  And I knew that without some sort of perceived break from his immediate familiar surroundings, and some frustration thrown on top of it, he wasn't going to test those boundaries beyond Ellery's bedroom.
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”