Completed Brokeback Limericks!

[Lumière]

Howdy Folks!

Here are the completed Brokeback Limericks from the
"Let's write a Brokeback Limerick" thread (started by saucycobblers - Cheers hun!  ).

I am sure you'll get a kick out of reading these, I know I do! 
We make a heck of a creative team! 

Cheers JennyC for giving me the idea of maintaining a list of completed limericks!
Enjoy!!

(The limericks posted so far are from the first 70 pages..)

[Lumière]

There once was a man named Jack,
He was quite good in the sack,
He said with a grin,
as he wiped off his chin,
That Ennis used to aim for his back!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


There was a young cowboy called Jack,
Who spent summer of '63 on a mountain called Brokeback,
He fancied young Ennis,
and despite Coyotes that were a Menace,
His heart, he would never get back.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


One day out in Signal, Wyoming,
that last ling'ring kiss was still foaming,
Ennis noticed his lost shirt,
His nipples were pert,
which caused Jacks tent to start roaming!

[Lumière]

Your hammerin' quit and git in here
Before you encounter that mean ol' bear,
I'm rollin' and twitchin',
and my arse for you is itchin',
Let me show you how much I care!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


"Jack ain't the rest'rant type.."
For beans he would just gripe,
But he shot him some deer,
And climbed upon his tired mare,
and wondered bout the Fish & Game Hype"


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Milli & Dave have no rythm,
Their timing is sheer cataclysm
But funny as hell,
Their point they do sell,
I certainly ain't gonna dis 'em!

[Lumière]

"I know a place where bluebirds sing"
"The whiskey, it runs as a flowing spring"
"Where the coyotes have balls the size of apples"
"And a drunken, sleepy sheep herder wobbles"
"These are a few of my favourite thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings"


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Alma was rolled on her belly,
There'd been nothing interesting on the telly,
As Ennis climbed onto her back,
You knew he was thinking of Jack,
And as he came, Jack's name he called freely.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


I'll take you up to Don Wroe's cabin ...
Where we'll do a bit more than just gabbin'
With you, there ain't no need to wring out,
With our guns goin' off we will shout:
Sweet Jesus H!  I am comin'!

[Lumière]

This limerick business is straining.
Just as Ray, I quite feel like complaining!
With no rhythm and rhyme
This ain’t worth not a dime.
Yet, one has to say, it’s entertaining!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


That fateful day outside Aguirre's trailer ...
Ennis wore his best shirt from the tailor,
Jack gazed upon him, a throb in his heart,
Ennis's eyes shot thru him like a dart,
and soon Jack was as horny as a Sailor!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Jack thought as he looked at LaShawn,
He wish she'd shut up and be gone,
He gave Randall a wink,
Poured himself another drink,
and treated ol' Randall as a pawn.

[Lumière]

The night on the mountain was chilly. 
So jack pulled Ennis's hand to his Willie,
He said with a grin,
Who's gonna begin?
Ennis said, it's my first time, really.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Our boys were out herding the sheep,
Sometimes they were too horny to sleep,
Jack said with affection,
"Is that an erection?"
"Yes, and it's starting to weep!"


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Ennis sometimes wondered if people could tell,
If in love with a man he once fell,
At the Knife & Fork diner,
Where was his red-liner?
The tears had started to Quell!

[Lumière]

Ennis sometimes wondered if people could tell,
If in love with a man he once fell,
At the Knife & Fork diner,
Where was his red-liner?
For Jack drove lke a bat out of Hell


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Aquire had come up to perve,
The right to peek, he didn't deserve,
He got quite an eyeful,
Then went for a quick pull,
And what a dish the boys did serve!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


"Aw, crap" said old Mrs Twist,
As she wiped off the teary mist,
My cherry cake's gone flat,
I'll surely be blamed for that,
If I hear a word, he gets the fist!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Jack, I love your eyes and your smile,
I've been checking you out for a while
You make my trunk oh so stiff,
And the world I wish to miff,
For you my love, I'd walk a fiery mile!

[Lumière]

John Twist is always so grumpy.
In his childhood he'd been rather lumpy,
On his son, he took a piss,
Jack's ideas he liked to dis
Cause his love for a guy made him jumpy!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Jack chose a skittish mare named Cigar Butt,
Who could always avoid a road rut
Not good enough to be a bucking bronco
But the sight of Jack on her made Ennis swallow,
how he envied that horse! Mare? No; - slut!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


'Twas a cold summer night on the mountain
Next to the warm whiskey fountain,
little bluebirds were singin'
And the church bells were ringin'
As his love for Jack did Ennis make plain!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


"What blue eyes you have, Jack" said Ennis,
"Never would I do you a disservice",
"I'll stare into those orbs",
"My entire universe your love perturbs",
"Lord knows your hand belongs on my penis"!

[Lumière]

The log vanished into thin air,
Like the tiniest strand of hair,
But nobody realised,
That Jack's seat the log comprised,
And We thought it's 'cause of the mare!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


"Rodeo cowboys is all fu-kups", said Ennis' dad,
But they're not the only ones he thought were bad;
He hated gays, 'specially Earl and his man Rich,
He was a real sonofabitch,
The worst kinda of father a boy could have Had.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Lureen wondered why husbands don't dance,
or even try to get in their pants,
She got angry and red,
And DRAGGED Jack to bed,
for escaping there wasn't a chance!!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


The wind on the mountain was blowin'
And the boys they was knowin'
that the best way to take cover,
Was to take a lover,
And spend every Sunday lawn mowin'!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


The wind on the mountain was blowin'
And the boys they was knowin'
that the best way to take cover,
Was to take a lover,
and f*ck him until It'd be snowin'.

[Lumière]

Jack and Ennis made quite a stunning pair,
One being dark and the other quite fair.
Jack's eyes were blue, Ennis' brown,
Jack would smile, Ennis frown,
'Specially when Jack tried to gel Ennis' hair!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


There once was a troll named Aguirre,
Who was known in some circles as a fairy.
He had thousands of sheep
But really liked to peep
'Cause naked men made him merry!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


"I like doin' women, but not like doin' Jack",
Ennis told Alma when he packed his rucksack.
"My man", he said, "Is hung like a donkey!"
"And he sure is good at the honky-tonky",
"I'm surely in heaven when he's on my back!"


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Up on Brokeback, where we pasture the woolies,
where the whiskey is cold and there aren't no bullies,
I fell head over heels for a fellow,
whose underwear was white and yellow,
And contained a huge set of goolies!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Ennis really believed he was no queer,
But when he'd had too much beer,
And the night had grown cold,
he grew randy and bold,
and mounted young Jack like a Steer!